I'm having some major emotional/hormonal problems

[Vitamin Crack]

INB4I'MGETTINGABUSED

What's happened in this last week alone?

I had like a 3 hour long crying session with Tom holding me whilst I just cried and cried about how low my self-esteem was and how I thought everyone merely tolerated me and how I don't understand why anyone would like me.

I had that 'argument' with Tom about the tampons.

This morning I asked about the party that Tom had invited me to which I would meet him at. He texted back saying "it's more of a gathering than a party so I'm not sure how much fun it would be for you..." Which for some reason I just irrationally responded to and went "if you don't want me to come just say it". And he replies "when you put it like that you make me sound like a d**k."

Then I decided that I wasn't going to go down this texting argument thing again so I called him. And we sorted it out. I explained that it sounded like he was making excuses for why he didn't want to see me. So he just said that last time I went out with his friends, I felt awkward, so he didn't know if I wanted to go to this one or not. I said I wanted to, if only to see him, because I know I'm going to be working at home for a month over Easter holidays and we won't see much of each other so we should try and make the most of the time we have. And he said "Believe it or not I want to spend time with you. I know you don't always believe that because you have your own issues going on but please trust me."

Anyway I've just been such an emotional, miserable wreck lately. It's like the floodgates just opened.

Idk. Could be stress. I'm feeling quite stressed over my workload and my exams at the minute. I'm stressed because I don't want to work over Easter because I feel like I have more schoolwork than I thought, but I feel obligated now I told them I could come into work.

Maybe hormones. I didn't get my BC sorted out yet, I just haven't had the chance to go to the clinic and ask about it.

But yeah, how do you handle this? How does anyone handle suddenly feeling like you're losing control of yourself?  

[a moon full of stars]

sounds like stress to me. one thing i've realised while being at uni is that you can stress yourself out the the point of going completely insane and not even realise you're stressed.

it's good you've got tom, having someone you feel comfortable about letting your insecurities out is useful. and i don't think he sounds abusive, bitches be crazy/trollin'.

see if you can get cover or something to focus on school work, getting behind is not worth the stress it causes and ask about the bc because it could all just be that, which would be a lovely simple fix.

i hope all goes well. <3  

[Vitamin Crack]

Thanks Lyd.

Yeah, I think it's likely to be stress. My whole time at university so far has seemed like one long awesome party but it's now winding down and people are getting serious about exams and final essays. And I feel like I wasted so much time in the past and I haven't done much of my reading...and I'm just so worried that I won't get things done in time.

And yeah I've decided I'm going to call up work and explain the situation. Legoland's been amazing to me in general so I think they'll be sympathetic and I think they'll be people who would be grateful for more hours anyway.