Welcome to Gaia! ::

I had to go to the doctor's due to a cold I was having. I had to list a bunch of things I've been through and a few were "crying w/o reason", "depression", etc. Well, I checked those. He later asked me about them and I explained that I do get easily depressed for periods at a time but I've never really thought much about it. I've always assumed it was normal.

I guess its been affecting my daily life so he suggested therapy. I was resistant at first, but I guess it couldn't hurt. My sister and I were going to schedule an appointment but we weren't going to tell my mom... I know she'd start an arguement over it. Well, there was a misconception and, instead of calling me sister, they called me mom. So my sister (she's a lot older than I am) had to talk to my mom about why I need therapy. As expected, my mom immediately disapproved of it because she claims I'm just a lazy person and that's why my life is going down the tubes.

Later, my mom and I had a serious talk and she asked me why I needed help. I told her that I didn't know and that was the reason I was going. She told me that if I stopped being lazy and tried harder, then that would solver everything. My mom is a kind person....when she wants to be. She has a short temper, often gets angry over stupid things, holds a grudge, makes horrendous assumptions about others (she once accused me of trying to kill her because she was kicking things around my room and I told her to stop), and she's getting on in years. I always tell her I love her but it's a rarity that I hear it back.

Well, since the whole talk she's been a lot nicer. She even offered to take me to Korea during Spring Break this year which caught me off guard. Frankly, I was planning to spend it with Brad but...yeah. She keeps reassuring me that she loves me and what not. Now it's a custom in my family that, if someone is being nice....something is wrong.

I don't know if she's trying to keep me from going into therapy or not. I'm not sure if it's right. I don't want to go there to be another sucker whose spending loads of money to confess my stress to someone whose just drawing behind their desk. But I really want to be doing better...to focus more....I want to and I want to find out why I've been so moody and uncaring lately...

Do you think therapy might help?

It'd probably be a good idea to at least go once and see if it's beneficial to you. 3nodding What's the worse that could happen?