[Kwaggy's Note: I would just like to preface this one by saying I had just gotten out of a hellish game with a teammate who didn't know what the hell he was doing harping on everything I did the entire game. This is why the language is more severe than usual, and why the post length is longer than usual. I think it's rather informative nonetheless, though. So I'm not editing it.]

Okay boys and girls, it's time for another episode of PSA's With Kwaggy! Please hold your enthusiastic applause. Be warned, this one contains a LOT more angry language than usual.

Okay guys, todays episode is about DOMINION. You know, that game mode that's eight-hundred times more fun than Summoner's Rift, yet barely anyone plays? Yeah, that one. Well, when you or one of your teammates is playing as a really, really fast and tanky champion (Teemo, Singed, Blitzcrank, Rammus, etc. Janna if you're feeling lulzy.) in that mode, you/they have three jobs:

1) Ninja capping the enemy points right outside their base, forcing them to waste time on you in favor of squishies.
2) Being the first on the scene when they cap one of YOUR points, focusing on stopping them from capping it for as long as possible. (In other words, you disrupt every enemy capturing, then cycle around and do it again until backup arrives.)
3) REALLY annoying distraction. Make the enemy want to make you die, at all costs. It's not that hard to do. Make them chase you through the jungle, and away from anything that matters. No where the health relics are, when they're up, and HOW THE ******** TO RUN AWAY. (In other words, if you get say Singed-flipped, congratulations, you are now running in the direction he flipped you in to put some distance on, regardless of where you WANT to go since you'll take less damage and live longer. I see WAY too many people get flipped then just try to run right through the enemy team somehow not realizing that being RIGHT NEXT TO THEM makes it easy to kill you.)

Now then, when you're playing alongside these champions, YOU have three jobs that they rightfully expect you to do.

In the event of 1) DON'T help him cap. DON'T. EVER. HELP. HIM. CAP. Go clean up whatever ******** mess you guys made that resulted in you NEEDING to ninja cap in the first place (primarily the Windmill), then stay on either the Windmill or your bottom point (whichever one you helped clean up) and DEFEND IT.
In the event of 2) Be the backup he's holding out for. Granted, sometimes you just can't get there in time to save him, but at least mop up the enemies he was disrupting.
In the event of 3) This is the one people ******** up the most, and the reason this PSA is being written. When your fastest tanky guy is running through the jungle not even trying to fight back against the three or four guys chasing him, you do NOT b***h about him "not helping." If you honestly think that, you're a moron and suck at Dominion. HE'S DISTRACTING THEM FOR YOU DUMBASSES. You shut the hell up, and go cap s**t while the enemy team is far enough away that you can claim it in time. If you can't fully cap something, neutralize something. If you can't do THAT, then poke at the guys chasing him, BUT ONLY WHEN THEY'RE NEAR A POINT YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING USEFUL ON.

Basically, the super-fast, tanky guy on your team is your "OH ********!" button. He plays like normal until your team screws up royal in some way. Basically, if you lose an inner point, or haven't had control of the Windmill for a long time, or if you have enemies capping you, you send him in to run interference until you can fix it. If you have a really awesome turnaround victory, I don't care how much damage your stupid little carry a** did or how many kills you have or what your PS is, 95% of the time owe that win to your speed-tank if you had one. If he didn't get up in there and keep the enemy off you while you took points, you would've lost. If he hadn't ninja-capped to pull half the enemy team his way so you could retake the Windmill that YOU GUYS lost while they were distracted, you would've lost. If you didn't have him there, you would've lost. Just because you bring stupid amounts of damage to a fight doesn't mean your actions won it. Notice how that stupidly high damage comes at the cost of having 1.5k health at level 18 with no defenses? Yeah, try to fight ANYONE on those stats without someone disrupting the enemy team so they can't murder you in .0001 seconds. If you're alive because your teammate ate a Singed-flip, Singed-goo, Bear-flip, Bear-slow, Vayne-push, AND a Karthus-wall AND ate all their burst damage, him dying was NOT the reason you lost. It's because you couldn't use the fact that he just tanked EVERYTHING they could possibly throw at you to get SOMETHING done.

This has been "PSA's With Kwaggy". I hope you took something useful from it.

[/rantPSA]