The last part is just a joke about colons.
Well before I go on with the review, I'd like to point out the CD cover is getting crap past the radar.
Meaning, I think Gaga's areola are slipping out. Don't quote me on that. I bought this from WalMart. But I think those are her nipples, but I remember them being bigger so...
Anyways, to the review.
I will review the remixes individually, so bear with me.
Born This Way - Zedd: It is rather obvious what the remix was made for. It is rather innovative, creating a rather longer pre-chorus, and using the chorus slightly sparingly. It is rather pleasant to the ears, even with the repetition of some parts, but that makes it more enjoyable. It also sounds happy and bouncy.
Judas - Goldfrapp: *prepares to get skewered* I actually love this remix. And I know a lot of people don't really like it. Of course I also love TEED's remix of Marry the Night, which has a similar feel. But I really actually love the instrumental of the remix. Of course, I've also level grinded in Final Fantasy 7, whose soundtrack sounds heavily industrial. If they made a live-action FF7, this would be played during (highlight to see spoiler) Aeris's death by Sephiroth or maybe during Dyne's betrayl, or the awakening of Vincent or something. Anyways, I'm used to cool industrial music. Now it has vocals. And this remix is awesome by my standards.
Edge of Glory - Foster the People: Sounds happy. Like they are. I like this remix, but will probably get annoying if played too many times in a row, like Foster the People's Pumped Up Kicks. Nice song, but it's heavily annoying. But it's happy and all that and it sounds nice. It has a lot of vocoding and voice pitching, but it listenable. Sounds like how Foster the People would cover Edge of Glory.
You and I - Wild Beasts: This is a remix by the Wild Beasts. As a band remix, it is kind of what I expected. I still like it though. It kind of sounds like Gaga is trying to say something but she can't get it out. The beat is nice steady, and enjoyable. Much more of a chorus remix without much of the chorus.
Marry the Night - Weeknd and Illangelo: Oh my god, love this remix. It's beautiful, and lightly vocoded, for those who like the taste and not the overdose. Plus with back-up vocals (by Illangelo I think) this sounds like a tribal city remix. I don't like how the bridge isn't used, but I guess it can't be helped. It's a gorgeous remix, and a nice listen. Totally can be put on repeat and listened to in the car.
Black Jesus + Amen Fashion - Michael Woods: This remix is too long. About 3 minutes too long. This is a chorus remix, like You and I Wilds Beasts. However, unlike Wild Beasts, Michael Woods, the beat is only enjoyable for a certain amount of time, and it is rather too long for a chorus remix. It does get boring, due to the fact that it's long, and it doesn't really make the song new. It would've been nicer if it was either shortened, or at least used the verses.
Bloody Mary - The Horrors: This was another letdown on the remix list. Of course, I've never listened to any of the The Horrors music. Of course, this doesn't really make me rush to the nearest music store to buy their album. What is extremely saddening is that Bloody Mary is an interesting song, with pre verses/post choruses to also make use of. Instead, they only use the verses and prechorus. It is an interesting listen, sounding very Southwestern Cowboy Tribal. But it doesn't really make full use of the song given. It's decent, but the Horrors could've done way better, and many people have done better, on Youtube.
Scheisse - Guena LG Club Remix: As aforementioned, this is a club remix. As so, it is too be played, in a club, at a loud enough volume where you can't hear your girlfriend's mumblings about an ********, while you try to dance like Lady Gaga. This remix is actually given negative reviews by critics. Mostly because Scheisse was already a club hitter. But I really do like this and I think Guena did their job well.I think they got lazy because they could've remixed their own prebridge but they just used the one already in the song. I consider that lazy. Especially since I can make her sound like she's saying:"I speak German, you like?" But other than that, a nice remix, something you can dance to, and play in your car.
Americano - Gregori Klosman: Oh I hope Gregori Klosman and Michael Woods never get together and have kids, even if they do find the miracle that in man pregnancy, mostly because this remix, also sucks. Slightly. Itis trying to sound like a grinding rebel rouser, and it does. Until you hear the second verse repeated. And it's the only verse played. Like The Horrors before, I am disappointed in Gregori Klosman. Mostly because this is an interesting song in which many things could've been done, and it has an awesome instrumental, but not much of a remix in vocals. It doesn't even use the"I'm living on the edge of the law" tail of the song, even though it would've probably fit in and sounded awesome.
Electric Chapel - Two Door Cinema Club: Oh my god, something good to type about again. I love this remix. It's interesting, and takes a nice little turn and spin on Electric Chapel. It sounds like a playfully and deviant song, while the originally sound like the sounds of the lovely female of the soft rock in 70s-90s. This is a lovely little remix, and it sounds great, especially with the ecstatic eclectic moaning at the beginning, instead of as the bridge. A very creative remix and definitely worth a few 10 or 12 listens.
You and I - Metronomy: This probably how Ke$ha would sound singing You and I. Lightly vocoded and reverbed, it sounds like a ballad to be played in a club. I uses the verses, and the chorus isn't diet. However, there is a 0 calorie bridge, meaning there is none. I still like it though, especially with the wobbly peaceful sounds.
Judas - Hurts: I love this remix. For some reason it's disliked also. I have no idea why... maybe it's the (and I'm typing this out for Tee) the sounds a whale in orgasmic ecstasy thrown into a vocoder that turns people off. I have no idea why, I actually like it. I also love the ending where the acoustic guitar comes in. However, I think we kind of take an unneeded while to get to the bridge, which may be what turns people off. I like the sound though. But I don't think i would hurt Hurts (horrible pun) to test the first half of the bridge in the remix. But other than that, love this remix.
Born This Way - Twin Shadow. I think this remix is awesome. It messes with the pitch ever so slightly, nobody notices it. It's more noticeable in the prechorus of the first verse and everything after. You can also here"Gaga ain't no other way" replacing the first line of the first chorus. It also plays with volume of certain things, making it more interesting. An interesting remix, sounding cool and interesting, reminiscent of the 80's. Another thing to listen to in the car.
Edge of Glory - Sultan and Ned Shepard: A nice beat. Something you'll easily begin bobbing your head too. It also have the explosive anticipation many remixes have. The beginning kind of sounds animeish, until we hit the electric sound grinding mixed with drums. It is a chorus remix, but it sounds more interesting than annoying, unlike a certain someone *points towards Michael Woods with his foot*. It will begin to sound animeish again, but due to the fact I like anime and most Japanese songs (as shown to be fact by the sheer number of mash-ups I have featured which have Japanese/ Asian artists) this remix will charm you with a cheery grinding.
That is it. Hope you enjoyed my review.
And when I release my remixes, and you compare me to Michael Woods and Gregori Klosman, you better be saying I'm better than them.
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