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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:19 am
Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I have had a heated discussion in which he doesn't believe when I say that a girl's hymen being intact doesn't reveal if she's a virgin or not. I'm a virgin, he knows this, and he says he'll know "for sure" once we have sex. But the thing is, my hymen isn't intact. I told him this and he thinks then I "must not be a virgin". I've told him I got in a bicycle accident when younger (around 7) and the bar hit me between the legs and I bled a lot, and not only that but if my hymen didn't tear then then horseback riding, using tampons, or masturbation could have all affected this. He thinks if I don't have my hymen I'm not a virgin. Please give me some facts to prove he is wrong. I also happened to tell him that I've been fingered before by someone else, so THAT could've torn it.
PLEASE GIVE ME FACTS ASAP. (on here or via message, I don't care I just need to prove to him that me not having a hymen doesn't mean I'm not a virgin! I know the facts I just need the articles to prove to him.)
Thanks!
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Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:03 pm
Hymens are not way up inside the v****a, and they don't magically disappear when they come in contact with a p***s. Hymens can get torn or worn down by a wide variety of things. Some hymens can stretch during sex and not show any signs of tearing at all. And some girls are born without one! So you can never tell whether or not a girl has had sex just by the way that her hymen looks, and you also can't tell based on the way she feels or whether or not she bleeds during sex. Even a doctor cannot tell whether or not a girl is a virgin just by looking at her unless she has an STD or has been pregnant. So your boyfriend is wrong. Here are some snippets that you can show him (there might be better articles out there, but these were among the first that came up when I did a search).
"Usually, the hymen looks like a fringe of tissue around the vaginal opening. It is not an intact piece of tissue draped across it. Some girls are born without a hymen, others have only a scanty fringe of tissue. Moreover, for all its fabled mystery, the hymen is just a body part....
Like eyes, noses and breasts, everyone is a little different. Girls often disrupt the hymen during play. What actually happens when the hymen is "broken," whether by playing or by intercourse, is that a few areas of the hymen are torn. There is often some bleeding.
Nonetheless, the hymen is prized and parents (and teens) sometimes worry that the prize has been lost. Often, mothers bring their daughters to see me because they, or the father, want to know if the girl is a virgin.
Of course, in New York (and many states) teens have a right to confidential care so I cannot tell the mother anything unless the teen gives me permission to do so. But even if I am allowed to talk to the parent frankly, I often can't give the yes-no answer they want. It is not so easy to tell whether a girl is a virgin, because hymens are so varied. If there is not much of a hymen I have no way of knowing what happened to it. Was it a boyfriend or a bicycle? Or, perhaps, this girl did not have much tissue there to begin with." http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.asp?id=12&compID=130
"The hymen is also not an indicator of virginity. The tissues of the vulva are generally very thin and delicate prior to puberty, so many girls and teens tear or dilate their hymen while participating in sports like bicycling, horseback riding, gymnastics or while inserting tampons. A girl may not even know this has occurred, since there may be little or no blood or pain involved when this happens." http://www.livestrong.com/article/12449-female-hymen/#ixzz1hCStNSgQ
"But it is scientific fact that the hymen can be separated for reasons quite unconnected to sexual intercourse. It can separate when the body is stretched strenuously, as in athletics; it can be separated by inserting a tampon during menstruation or through masturbation; and sometimes it is separated for no apparent reason.
A separated hymen is not an indication of having had intercourse, nor can it prove a loss of virginity." http://healthguide.howstuffworks.com/hymen-dictionary1.htm
"Losing your virginity occurs when you first have sex and has nothing to do with broken hymens, which may have happened prior to you first having sex. The lack of bleeding after first intercourse should not be taken as evidence of non-virginity." http://www.studenthealth.co.uk/advice/advice.asp?adviceID=148
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 9:47 am
Lorien pretty much covered it all. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:21 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:38 am
Fizzlesticks Also your boyfriend sounds like a dickhead. I wouldn't go as far as to say that. He's just not informed enough to understand female body. That's why he should sign up as a member here and get up to speed. razz
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Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:21 am
Valgex Fizzlesticks Also your boyfriend sounds like a dickhead. I wouldn't go as far as to say that. He's just not informed enough to understand female body. That's why he should sign up as a member here and get up to speed. razz I don't know. If my boyfriend insisted on verifying my virginity, he wouldn't be my boyfriend for very long.
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Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 7:56 pm
Fizzlesticks Valgex Fizzlesticks Also your boyfriend sounds like a dickhead. I wouldn't go as far as to say that. He's just not informed enough to understand female body. That's why he should sign up as a member here and get up to speed. razz I don't know. If my boyfriend insisted on verifying my virginity, he wouldn't be my boyfriend for very long. ^Pretty much this. There's a difference between being uninformed and being an a*****e, and he sounds like the latter. It really shouldn't matter if the OP is a virgin or not, but the fact that he wants her to prove/verify it is really offputting, for me. As her boyfriend he should trust her and take her at her word.
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:22 am
Yeah, he's basically telling his partner that he doesn't fully trust her, he doesn't fully believe what she told him about her past, and he's going to try to verify her story when they have sex. So while he's obviously pretty clueless about this stuff and would probably benefit from joining this guild, I'd agree with Fizz and Niko and say he kind of sounds like a jerk too.
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