J-Dub narrowed his brows slightly, pursing his lips. He could sense that she was being stubborn. An ear flicked forward as he chuckled. “s**t girl, yo’ hidin’ sumthin...”
"So?"
Indulging in a question and answer seminar wasn’t going to get him far, let alone anywhere. Why did problems have to be so damn complicated? The male exhaled, breathing slow as he looked up toward the skies momentarily. He closed his eyes before his head leveled down towards her—his ocher orbs drew their veils upward.
“Ya seem a little rough aroun’ the edges, well—rougher ‘den usual o’course. Feelin’ a little outta’ sync?”
Rust laughed hesitantly, albeit a bit sheepishly, as she shifted her weight and rolled over to face him. “You have no ******** idea,” she breathed, releasing the weight of her burden just a bit. “I don’t feel like I…belong here. It doesn’t feel like home.” She fretted just a twinge, “I don’t know where home is.”
“Aw, baby dis’ is yo’ home!” J-Dub grinned.
Rust shook her head adamantly. “No—home doesn’t have walls, home doesn’t have humans controlling us. This is a prison.”
He shrugged. “Well it at leas’ we got ‘dose odds of livin’ ou’ a good life stacked in our favor, ya’mean?”
Any given scenario, any situation, could always progress worse; the odds were never set in their place nor bore any particular affinity for any which way. It was all up to chance, to damn, dumb luck. The unknown couldn’t be foretold nor could the mysteries of the pressing morning be revealed so quickly—their situation could change in without a given notice. There was no security, no safety; they were vulnerable with no security to buffer them. Yet the wild bared its own risks and consequences yet at least the only one she had to blame would simply be herself if anything were to go awry.
“I just—I can’t do this…” she murmured.
“Oh hell no; yo’ gona do ‘dis an’ tell me whut’s goin’ on in ‘dat head of yo’s.” There was no ******** way he was going to let this sit out on the sidelines. Asserting himself right in her line of site, J-Dub sat himself down and hunkered low to parallel their perspective—his eyes gave a hard stare. “Then whut? What are ya’ so afraid o’? Whut’s causin’ yo’ ta lose faith in whut’s aroun’ ya?”
Rust bristled slightly. Behind her, her thickly furred tail swept restlessly to and fro. She swallowed, trying to gather her bearings. “I’m—I’m afraid of..”
she stammered, trying to urge the words from off her tongue, “I—damn it, I’m afraid of losing everything again, okay? I’m scared of having to go through the same damn ordeal of losing everything, and everyone around me.” Her voice projected abruptly as a paw slammed down onto her makeshift bed. “I’m a shitty fighter, I’m so ******** fed up of losing and who knows—at this rate maybe I’ll become to goddamn bait for the pits.” She shook her head, biting down on her lower lip. “I’m so ******** tired of being stripped of everything.”
Admittedly J-Dub was a bit stunned. He hadn’t thought that Rust was in such turmoil although, on account of what had recently befallen then, he couldn’t say that he didn’t blame her for what insecurities plagued her. Yet her exterior confidence and ‘don’t give a s**t’ attitude hadn’t even caused him to consider the possibility that she had contracted such a devastated outlook. Damn, well this wasn’t right; this was straight up depressing! A small frown flattened across his maw.
Home girl needed some serious cheering up. That was the straight up truth.
"Listen, gurl, ya’ can’t let all ‘dat s**t mess wif’ ya head. Ya’ betta’ ‘den ‘dat. The way I see it—baby, ya a sell out an why ain’ ya buyin’ inta’ what a sexy, witty an’ attractive adventuris’ ya are? Hell, ya so fine I know ya can’ help me fin’ Wonderlan," he winked, sliding his tongue against his teeth.
She rolled her eyes and slapped his face with her paw, causing him to grit his jowls slightly. “Riiiiiight…”
“s**t, ya’know ya’ can’t get rid o’ me,” he teased. J-Dub gave a devious wink, “Yer stuck wif’ me. Besides, I ain’ gonna leave ya anytime soon—didn’ leave yo’ back ‘dere an ain’ gonna let ya’ fend for yo’self.” A more seriousness rained over him as the male tenderly looked at the female fighter. “This,” he motioned with a forepaw that rose upwards, gesturing to their location,” is our home. Yo’ve been home since we gots ‘ere, Rust. We bof’ hav’.”
She believed him. Yet doubt still infiltrated her mind as it made her second guess anything and everything. Her bottom lip curled outward as she struggled to keep her eyes from welling up. Swallowing, Rust pinned her ears slightly against her head. It wasn’t so bad yet, still, the unknown restlessly nipped at her paws and spurred her anxiousness.
“Just promise me that if it gets unbearable that we’ll run away together—we’ll leave this place and return back home…to the place we will always belong?”
He beamed, fervently nodding his head. "Hell, if ‘m gonna be runnin’ away wif’ ya ‘den I’ll agree ta’ whateva. As lon’ as yo’ be keepin’ me company an’ givin’ me some lovin’. Cause’ yo’ love is a hell o’ a drug!”
The female’s cheeks flushed a strawberry red which only enticed a grin to take hold of the males maw.
"Y'know I got yer' back. I'll go wid' if ya' run off," he added.
She eyed him, scrutinizing his body language. "Cross your heart?"
Holding up a front paw in the air, J-Dub motioned an 'x' with one claw over his chest with his free paw. "Cross ma' 'eart! I may be a swagga' swingin' gangsta but keepin' a promise, or a threat, is my specialty. Ya' don' have to' worry 'bout losin' me," he smirked.
Lying his head down next to his daughters, J-Dub licked her cheek.
"I jus' gotta worry 'bout losin' you," he whispered. A gentle smile tugged at his maw. "An I'll be anybody and e'rybodys a** 'dat tries to take ya' away--not from me or ya home 'hur."
