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 Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:40 pm
//Spoon Fed by Elves //A (PRETTY SHITTY BTW)Parody of Cliches
Well, this is what I worked on during NaNo in November. It's basically a parody about all the typical fantasy cliches, some of which were suggested by the helpful people in the NaNo forum (a HUGE thanks to all you guys who were there). It's mostly a whole bunch of random crap, but hopefully you guys like it, and if you don't, too bad. I appreciate constructive crit, if any of you guys feel like it.
//Table of Contents
Chapter One...Page one, post two.
//News
Open for viewing on February 17th! surprised Chapter one is posted.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:44 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Jasper Riddle Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:50 pm
Heh. That's very funny--and I got the impression almost immediately that they were catlike, this "kurlock". Nice thus far.
Yes, Robert does seem a bit unrealistic in his behavior over the papers...
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:54 pm
Jasper Riddle Heh. That's very funny--and I got the impression almost immediately that they were catlike, this "kurlock". Nice thus far. Yes, Robert does seem a bit unrealistic in his behavior over the papers... Haha, thanks for reading it. It ties in later.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:11 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:18 pm
Phew, glad you liked it. whee
Thanks for the suggestions too.
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Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:45 pm
It's really cute, I like it, but can I make a few suggestions?
The opening is good but I'm not sure about that first line. Something like, "I sighed mournfully as I stared out the window..." it's strange to me the the character describes how they're staring out a window. I don't know. Just kind of made me c**k my head there.
Also, Online mentions the whole shape shifting, the preference to being an animal and such. I think the character should personalize it more, I like to be an animal or a creature. You can still mention that all kulocks prefer to be this way but I think Oline needs to make it a little more about her and not her race.
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Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 5:15 pm
NWAH! *Glomps!*
Very, very nice work dearest BirdBrain. And YAY! I finally got to read it!
Look forward to more!
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 1:15 pm
Thanks for your suggestions Prarie, they make sense and I love suggestions.
And glad you liked it Zoe whee
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 12:53 pm
I liked it so far, although I'm not warming to Oline yet - is that intentional? I guess her character will develop as it goes along. I would like to see Robert do things so we can see how annoying he is to Oline, rather than her just telling us.
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:43 pm
doll76 I liked it so far, although I'm not warming to Oline yet - is that intentional? I guess her character will develop as it goes along. I would like to see Robert do things so we can see how annoying he is to Oline, rather than her just telling us. Eh, I guess it's kind of intentional. And too bad Robert died, so he can't show his annoying side. whee Just kidding, I know you meant in the actual chapter, and I might do that, I dunno.
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