Each stone in her spiral bedding hidden in the raised tree grove had a purpose, had a place and a rank order for where she placed it. As Reisx peered down at the colors, the tones of gray and black, beiges and near greens, she tilted her head, touching them, letting her toes feel the smooth texture, pondering how her existence compared. The other, the dark silhouette she saw who spoke to her out here, who his herself from view, seemed to make so many connections between themselves and the wild, the organic. Perhaps, if Reisx looked hard enough, she could find the connect herself, perhaps, she could find the reality of where she fell in the spectrum of spiraling stones of mokai around her. Flicking her ears, swiveling, listen to the water nearby, she lifted herself from the stone bed and headed for the stream: it was time for more collecting.
She found that it gave her some sense of inner peace, when she was alone, able to think about the past, her future, and her actions. She was trying to find her place, trying to forgive, but never forget. The memories, the experiences made her stronger, made her who she was, and could make her go in the direction of who she could become. But like she had said to the silhouetted mokai, she was unsure still, unsure of her place in this world, on this island, and she was not sure which direction to go. Her life, the wild, Cellen, this was her life, the life she loved, but her being, she did not love fully, she wanted to accept not only the island, what had happened, but accept herself for whom she had been and whom she was now. It was so hard though, she thought as she walked towards the stream, the water's movements vocal in the silence of the trees, so hard to be able to find the answers. But, she knew, if the answers were given so freely, then there would be no obstacle to overcome, and there would not be any growth or strength gained. She didn't want a gift, she didn't want simple, she wanted to earn it, she wanted to push herself.
Reisx came to the stone structure that lay in the mountains, beyond the waterfall and looked to the other side where the silhouetted mokai had been. There was no scent today, no inkling of anyone's arrival, no telling that anyone might be near or joining her soon. It was quiet, reflective, like the water rushing below her and carving through the rocks. It bubbled and gurgled, wished to breathe and live it's life with vigor, as she did. The water was vocal, strong, and committed to the path it 'walked,' just as Reisx wanted to be. But the water's path had been chosen for it, since the past lives had began carving into the rock, the path, the water's future and destiny had been chosen, Reisx didn't want that. She wanted to carve her own path, walk her own way, but have those she cared for beside her. She lay on the edge of the rocks, and peered down with silver eyes. She watched the water rush, it almost speak to her, and she watched as it traveled the chosen and monotonous path and life it lived. But, her eyes widened, and she blinked, looking to the rocks. Little spurts of water jutted up into the air, smaller cracks, smaller paths had began to start across the rock formations. Differences, small differences that would make that water's life different form the main path, the main choice. It was different, a detour, but still went along with life.
She could do that, she could carve herself an area, carve into the rock hardships of life and find her way out. She could flow alongside the others who nestled into the tedious, continuous flows of life, who were happy with it, but find her own way adjacent, and still close to them. She smiled, yes, she could do this, she could live, have her life not chosen for her, and still be close to those she cared for.
The rushing water was so…tempting then. She stood, but hesitated, it was a far drop, and roots jutted out from atop the rocks from where trees helplessly tried to grip on. She licked her lips, but turned away, no, that was for another day. now, she had work to do. She left the running water behind her, and headed to where the water calmed, where the stones were smooth and where she could hear the trickling water over the few stones that jutted up from the stream bottom. The water was shallow, but clear. Some parts were slightly organ from the clay that tinted it like the sky when the sun set. Reisx could see the stones beneath the surface and slowly stepped into the water. IT was cold, and she shook herself as she emerged her legs. Her fur bristled from the cold, but quickly settled once her body temperature accepted the chill. She stepped in the shallows, slowly, letting her paws, her toes feel the bottom, smooth out the silt and dirt to try and find those few treasures that were hidden from view. She smiled, remembering how she brought one to Seven, and how it had made her smile. Yes, Seven had part of the wild with her, part of this place, and that made Reisx happy.
As her toes found each special, rounded stone, each gem, as Reisx called them, she removed them, whether or not they were fully cleaned of muck, onto the stream bank and kept searching. After she found a few, she removed herself from the water, then cleaned the stones. Those she liked, she kept, those that needed a little more smoothing, she brought upstream and dropped back in. When Reisx dropped the last, not-completely smoothed stone in, she watched the dirt wash away from its surface, cleaning it, the water rushing the brown away, letting the stone fall into the water and disappear.
That's me, she thought, the un-smoothed stone, not perfect, not quite there, but soon, in time, she would be ready.
