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[SP] Yvette Goodall [Crits please~!]

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baby_gwing

Fanatical Raider

PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:57 am


Welcome!

User Image


Welcome to my Quest thread for Yvette Goodall who will be a Mononoke Cerberus Knight at Lilium Hallow! =3


~ Thread Navigation ~

Post 1 - Welcome/Thread Navigation
Post 2 - Update Log
Post 3 - All You Need to Know About Yvette and How She Looks Like
Post 4 - Yvette's Personality and Hobbies
Post 5 - Yvette's Biography
Post 6 - Reserved
Post 7 - Reserved
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:02 am


Update Log

6th November 2011 - Yvette's Quest Thread is *finally* set up and ready for crits~!

baby_gwing

Fanatical Raider


baby_gwing

Fanatical Raider

PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:21 am


All You Need to Know About Yvette and How She Looks Like


Name: Yvette Goodall
Race: Human
Position: Mononoke (Red Panda)
Stage: Cerberus Knight
Gender: Female
Age: 27

Height: 5' 4"
Body Build: Lean with lightly tanned skin. Yvette has dimples when she smiles.
Hair: Very long, straight scarlet hair that spans all the way down to her waist. Yvette usually has it bound in a loose braid while allowing her long bangs to fall naturally and frame the side of her face such that the final appearance will be something like this
Eyes: Green

Armor: Yellow and wine red-themed armor with a design that looks like this and this
Weapon: Dual swords that look like this or this. They may also be drawn held in a backward position in her hands like this.
Familiar: A male wolf by the name of Niflheim whom Yvette has affectionately dubbed as Niffy (much to his dismay)
Extra: Has the ears as well as tail of a Red Panda

Yvette's Tea Ingredients:
- Sylph's Whistle - Strong Wind Elemental Theme
- Lemon Rinds - Those who use them are generally spunky and full of self-confidence!
- Ram Horn - Stubborn and hard-headed as a Ram!
- Scarlet Ale - This alcoholic beverage is almost as dark red as blood.
- Hummingbird Skull - The skull of a once delicate, swift, and colorful creature.
- Ornate Hilt - Beautifully engraved hilt of a sword.

Ability Concentration/Theme: Yvette's ability concentration is that of paper manipulation. She can control paper with her mind or using her hands physically to form origami, her creations (weapons, creatures, tools) limited only by her imagination, the amount of paper she had at her immediate disposal as well as her magic. In addition, she has the ability to make the paper stronger and act like a shield or a binding to restrict her target's movements. She can work with paper that is slightly wet, but paper that is completely saturated with water will disrupt her paper mastery creations.
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:22 am


Yvette's Personality and Hobbies


Personality:
Exuberant
Nothing in this world is able to get Yvette down for long it seems. Like any other person on the street, Yvette does have her own fair share of down days although hers tends to be few and very far in between. Most of the time, she is full of unrestrained enthusiasm and joy towards almost everything in life that happens to be tossed her way. Energetic and animated, with an ability to express herself in a very dynamic way. It is not that she is entirely carefree and doesn't have to worry or concern herself with various aspects of life though. Yvette just opts to tackle all these issues head-on with enthusiasm instead since she thinks that her attitude towards them is the only thing that is within her full reign of control in such situations.

No matter how horrible something has turned out for her, Yvette will always try to psyche herself in a positive manner by saying that it probably happened because she was supposed to learn something from the experience. There have been times when people will get annoyed by her endless optimism, saying that she's unrealistic and that she needs to wake up to reality. Should these comments come from a family or close friend, Yvette will ponder and mope over whether this is indeed so and if she needs to change for awhile (usually a few days tops), otherwise she will just shrug it off as a criticism coming from someone who doesn't know or understand anything about her.

Passionate and Loyal
Every fiber of Yvette's being is driven by the intense feelings that she has towards the things as well as people around her. Just about everything falls on either end of the spectrum in her mind. Like, dislike, love, hate, black, white. Very few things actually go in between. Yvette never forgets any kind, selfless gesture that has been done for her and will repay it with something equivalent at least at a later time. It is only towards her close friends, family and knight partners whom she had gotten along rather well with that will earn Yvette's trust and respect, entrusting them with her unwavering loyalty and friendship and not once doubting them unless they break a promise or do something unforgivable in her eyes such as hurting her family or friends.

Dedicated
If you want to do something, make sure it's done to your expectation or don't even bother in the first place. Not an advocator of leaving things half done nor doing a half-hearted job, Yvette takes great pride in everything she does and will always put her best foot forward, accepting nothing short of the high standard that she has set out to achieve for herself. She is able to accomplish anything she puts her mind to and won't give up. Of course, this means that she usually takes longer than others to do something but her pride and sense of self satisfaction take precedence above everything here, even her own physical well-being at times.

Courageous
To Yvette, thunders and lightnings are equally bad things due to her astraphobia although she is well aware that these are merely weather elements and of no threat to her. She tends to become anxious during a thunderstorm and will actively seek shelter by hiding under her bed or inside her closet with her ears covered. Whenever Yvette needs to head out to run an errand or to go on a mission, she has a habit of checking the weather forecast first and postponing her plans accordingly (if possible) if there is a thunderstorm expected during the period of time that she is out. Of course it goes without saying that her performance in missions involving witches with lightning-based magic or during thunderstorms will be adversely affected due to her irrational fear.

With the sole exception of her irrational fear of thunder and lightning, Yvette feels no fear towards any other things in life. Things that go bump in the middle of the night, ghosts, pain. She can face all that with a straight face and doesn't get cold feet over it. All too willing to help a friend in need, she is the type who will willingly talk a friend through facing a fear, even do whatever is necessary in order to prove that there really was nothing to be afraid of in the first place. Not one who will back down from a challenge, Yvette is always ready to jump into the fray of things, especially if it involves her friends or Niffy. Even get her hands dirty if necessary.

Blaming Others
Whenever something goes wrong, Yvette has a habit of pointing the finger at and blaming other people for it. She strongly believes that so long as she has put in her best effort in something, whatever undesirable outcomes that occur subsequently has to be a result of other factors rather than her own deficiencies. This is mainly because she was brought up in an environment in which failure or making mistakes are unacceptable outcomes and therefore, is afraid of assuming responsibility and having to cope with them when such situations present themselves.

Emotional
While being a sensitive young lady makes her a wonderful person to be around most of the time, it is not without its problems as Yvette has a tendency to be overwhelmed by her emotions on many an occasion. She is the type of person who can suddenly burst into tears while watching an emotionally charged scene play out in front of her or even while listening to others recount their tragic plight. When Yvette is like this, she is prone to being unreliable, unmotivated and impractical since her feelings usually have an overbearing effect on her subsequent thoughts and actions, causing her to carelessly act on impulse without much thought towards the possible consequences or whether any better alternatives are available. In fact, she can be so emotional, needy and intense that she can end up being a real drag to the people around her. It is only when the stark reality of human lives being possibly endangered that Yvette will recover some from her emotional slump/outburst, but even then she is still prone to impracticality and being irrational from time to time.

Garrulous
If there is an issue that can be simply summarized in a few sentences, you can totally count on Yvette to expand and elaborate on it until it turns into a lengthy rambling account worthy of being transcribed into an essay. She likes details, a good conversation (and maybe the sound of her own voice) but she seriously lacks the insight that there are people in this world who hold dissimilar views. People who are more reserved and will very much rather be left alone or given a more brief version so that they can get back to whatever they had been doing will likely find this aspect of Yvette grating on their nerves more than half the time. Thankfully though, Yvette's love for detail is limited to conversations only and hasn't posed too much of a problem in getting into the way of other things except for the occasional conversation in which she has rattled on and on and totally forgotten about the time.


Hobbies:
Jigsaw Puzzles
Yvette's fascination with jigsaw puzzles began when her father gave her one as a gift on her 9th birthday. It took her a while to finally complete the puzzle but by the time she was done, Yvette knew that that wouldn't be her last. The intrigue that came with the realization of how every little piece had already been uniquely cut such that it would fit nowhere other than the spot it had been intended for as well as the immense amount of satisfaction she got with the challenge of completing the picture within the shortest time frame possible had her hooked and she has never looked back ever since. She has now moved on to challenge herself with puzzles of painted sceneries such as this. The soft colours as well as the size of the puzzles have made completing them even more challenging than before but Yvette still enjoys indulging in the activity whenever she can.

Gardening
Yvette has always had a green thumb - natural affinity for gardening since she was introduced to it by her father at the tender age of 8. Perhaps it is her meticulousness or her ability to pay close attention to details, but there has not been a type of flower or plant that had failed to grow under her care so far and she takes great pride in it. She finds solace and comfort amongst the plants and has a tendency to talk to them like a parent would to a child at times.

Sketching
Yvette isn't terribly good at sketching, having not had any formal lessons in it other than a natural flair and keen interest. That doesn't stop her from sketching whatever catches her fancy though (usually flowers or cute characters she comes across here and there), with the resultant sketches ranging from passable to outright grotesque depending on the level of complexity (but it's alright with her since her sketches are for her eyes only and she isn't really planning on submitting them to some art gallery).

baby_gwing

Fanatical Raider


baby_gwing

Fanatical Raider

PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:26 am


Yvette's Biography


Biography:
Not even the best mages could have foreseen or prevented Lucy's demise when she died shortly after Yvette was born due to childbirth complications. Yvette's father Louis was a Cerberus Knight. A diligent one who tried his best to fulfill his fatherly duties whenever he was off duty and able to tend to her. It was hard work but not once did he gripe or procrastinate over his circumstances as he continued to nurture the lovely daughter who was all that he had left other than the memories of his late wife.

An only child, Yvette shared a very close relationship with her father and idolized him greatly, even to the point of deciding that she would strive to be a Cerberus Knight like him when she was all grown up. Over the years, Yvette had learnt to come to terms with being left at home on her own most of the time due to the nature of her father's work. Though lonely, she spent most of her time on sketching and gardening, sometimes talking to the plants as if they were another human being. All in all, she was capable of taking care of herself although there still were certain things such as cooking and sewing that she was seemingly doomed to never ever become proficient in no matter how hard she tried.

For as long as Yvette could remember, she always had a knack for tree climbing which wasn't exactly the most lady-like thing to do nor an all too appropriate activity to be engaged in when one was wearing a dress, but felt totally like second nature as if the very skill had been imprinted into her soul from the day of her birth. It was on the morning of her 6th birthday when she finally discovered the reason behind it. A pair of furry light tan ears and a long bushy tail with six alternating yellowish red transverse ochre rings. Signs of being a mononoke.

Not too sure what to make of it and having noone to turn to, Yvette was terrified of her own nature initially, even to the extent of entertaining the thought as to whether she was turning into a monster. Thankfully, it was also during this period of time when she befriended a Leucistic Peacock mononoke by the name of Shirou who lived just next door to her. With something in common that the both of them could identify with, Yvette and Shirou became fast friends and a bond was forged between them upon the basis of honesty, mutual understanding and compassion. They attended the Makai Academy, did almost everything together and subsequently graduated within months of each other before going their separate ways to pursue their respective ideals.

Still intent on following her father's footsteps in becoming a Cerberus Knight, Yvette went on to pursue the path of an Ars Lilium, taking up an apprenticeship in dual sword wielding as she continued to hone her magical abilities in paper manipulation, knowing that the Cerberus Knights would not accept just anyone into their ranks other than those with exceptional abilities. Not only did Yvette look into improving her response time with elaborate creations, she also delved into the possibility of incorporating other properties into the paper that she used so as to achieve a permutation of various effects that could be activated at will by her power. It took her the entire of 7 long years of hard work before everything paid off and Yvette finally achieved her childhood aspiration as one of the Cerberus Knights at the tender age of 26.
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:27 am


Reserved

baby_gwing

Fanatical Raider


baby_gwing

Fanatical Raider

PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:28 am


Reserved
PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 7:57 pm


Imma give you a short critique that focus more on her personality and not background. Her background is fine, while I think there could be a bit more story behind it, as it is, it's a sound background.

You have the makings for a fun character, and you do seem to have a really strong eye for where you want to go, but some of the spots, I'm a little worried about. You say she can trust a person completely, and from how you word it, it sounds like they don't have to do much except one good thing for her. Those with darker hearts can do good for bad reasons. I feel this trait makes her naive and thus should be worked on. Maybe instead of just one good thing, they have to be part of her life, otherwise she just sees them as a person and doesn't really have a strong opinion, but she certainly wouldn't trust them?

She has an irrational fear of thunderstorms. Why? You gave no reason in personality or background as to why this happened. I think this is a great flaw that she has that can really add to the moment and make things suspenseful, but there needs to be a reason. "Since she was a child," doesn't cut it because it leaves so much wanting for those who want to get to really know your character.

I feel her unforgiving nature needs to be reworked. For someone who trusts so easily, she sure turns her back on them as well. This makes her too cut and dry of a character. And again, it works into naivety. This kind of behavior is really for those of the naive. She should have more intelligence about those who have scorned her. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? I just think it almost goes against her nature at how you have it worded right now. It's not a trait you need to completely annex, as this can be worked in easily. You just need to have her get a calmer head about it. Develop some street smarts and get tough kind of thing?

If you want to talk a bit more about what my opinion is, just quote me or shoot me a PM. You have a great foundation, and she's coming off really nice. There were just a few kinks that I, in my opinion, should be addressed.

Akira-Kisho
Crew

Shameless Man-Lover


baby_gwing

Fanatical Raider

PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 12:23 am


Akira-Kisho


Thank you so much for taking time to give Yvette a critique, Akira! ^^ I'm so sorry that it took so long for me to get to it though... orz

You say she can trust a person completely, and from how you word it, it sounds like they don't have to do much except one good thing for her. Those with darker hearts can do good for bad reasons. I feel this trait makes her naive and thus should be worked on. Maybe instead of just one good thing, they have to be part of her life, otherwise she just sees them as a person and doesn't really have a strong opinion, but she certainly wouldn't trust them?

I have revised this trait to include what you have suggested. I do agree that it will make more sense for her to be more street smart than she was previously since she's older and is already a full-fledged Cerberus Knight instead of a Witchling/Witch who's just starting out.

She has an irrational fear of thunderstorms. Why? You gave no reason in personality or background as to why this happened. I think this is a great flaw that she has that can really add to the moment and make things suspenseful, but there needs to be a reason. "Since she was a child," doesn't cut it because it leaves so much wanting for those who want to get to really know your character.

I have re-worded this particular trait to address this. I guess I wasn't exactly clear in my earlier description but I actually intended for this to be a phobia that she never ever overcame since her childhood since she was left to her own devices most of the time. I hope that the elaboration that I've included this time round makes more sense now. ^^

I feel her unforgiving nature needs to be reworked. For someone who trusts so easily, she sure turns her back on them as well. This makes her too cut and dry of a character. And again, it works into naivety. This kind of behavior is really for those of the naive. She should have more intelligence about those who have scorned her. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? I just think it almost goes against her nature at how you have it worded right now. It's not a trait you need to completely annex, as this can be worked in easily. You just need to have her get a calmer head about it. Develop some street smarts and get tough kind of thing?

I decided to remove this trait in the end since I can't quite see it working in her character now that I have a slightly better idea of how she's going to be like. orz

If you want to talk a bit more about what my opinion is, just quote me or shoot me a PM. You have a great foundation, and she's coming off really nice. There were just a few kinks that I, in my opinion, should be addressed.

Once again, thank you so much for the crit! <33 I've been meaning to ask all this while but... I don't suppose you'll be opposed to some plottings with your handsome Witch Eater Kian? ^^;

Oh yeah... if you have some time, could I trouble you to look over at least the biography section of Lea's profile please? I had initially intended for him to be a majin Mononoke way before the rules were changed with regards to Mononokes being a humans only race so I was trying to work around that aspect by making it into a curse of some sort placed on him in the past though I'm not so sure if that's allowed..? Sorry for the trouble... orz
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