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A bit of background maybe. My boyfriend Tom was dating this girl for two years prior to me. Over the summer, she said she wanted to have a 'casual' relationship although didn't clarify exactly what that meant. I met Tom at university in my halls just over a month ago. Apparently he said he liked me almost straight away, and we ended up together just over a week after we moved in. He was still with his ex for about a day after we hooked up, because neither of us really knew where we stood or anything. He broke up with her after the second time we hooked up though. Also, she cheated on him during this period though the details are shady.

Now his ex is asking him for some help with maths and chemistry (Tom's doing chemical engineering). She's going home this weekend and lives not far from here, so the plan was for Tom to go see her there and tutor her.

Tom asked me first if that was ok because it's a bit awkward. His ex still likes him and has expressed a few times that she wanted to get back together. Tom's always made it clear that it's not happening. And when he does that, she cries on the phone and it's hella awkward.

I said it was ok. I said that because I don't want to be the super controlling girlfriend with jealousy issues or something. But I guess a little part of me thinks it's a bit off, especially because she still likes him. Also I'm suspicious of her intentions, because based on her grades, she's a clever girl and not really the sort who seems might need a tutor.

On the other hand, I think it might be good for them to talk face to face. They broke up on the phone and they've only been talking on the phone since. I think maybe if Tom told her face to face that it was definitely over then it might get through to her more?

I dunno, I kinda wanted to talk to her before and tell her to back off a bit, but Tom and I weren't super serious yet and as the cheating party, I felt like it'd be inappropriate. But now we're getting more serious, I'm considering it. The only means I'd have of contacting her are through Facebook. Also I don't know whether to consult Tom on it, or whether to just do it because I'm entitled to.

Thoughts?

If they ********, they ******** cares?
It isn't like they're going to get back into a relationship, and maybe one last roll in the hay would do both of them good as far as closure goes.

Yeah to be honest guys I'm not so worried anymore. Tom's been forwarding all the texts he gets from his ex to me because he felt like I should know what's going on. Totally hilarious is the texts Tom sends back where he just drops my name in all the time on any slightly related tangent and ignores anything that seems a bit clingy.

Anyway it turns out his ex is busy this weekend so can only really see Tom for about an hour, outside in public, so no tutoring.

Also Tom suggested I come along but I'm going home this weekend to see the family so I passed. It would have been totally awkward/hilarious though.

So he met his ex today.
Apparently it wasn't so much awkward as infuriating.

Tom said she was being really bitchy about him forgetting her birthday card/present and she was being all demanding about it, telling him he should go out and buy one for him. Tom got annoyed (which I've never seen him do, he's a pretty chill guy for the most part) and told her that she could never boss him around like that and none of his friends would dare to be like that.

To which she responded that their relationship was different to a friendship. Uh oh.

Also she was apparently making him really uncomfortable by being all over him. I have to say, when Tom texted me that, my heart seriously sunk. Apparently I get jealous, who knew? I thought they were like on his bed or something but apparently they were on their sofa in the kitchen (which I've been on, it's not very intimate) and his parents were there.

Oh and Tom says every time he mentioned me she kept making snide remarks like, for example, when he talked about the amazing dinner I made him for his birthday, she said I was like his 'little slave'. :/

She didn't stay very long and left all angry.

Honestly if I was sympathetic to her before (I did kind of steal her boyfriend >.>), I'm not anymore. I don't really want to start any dramaz though.

We'll see I guess. Tom and I've made an xbox live date (lol in prep for MW3) for tomorrow so we'll talk properly then instead of texting.