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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:57 pm
I CHOOSE YOU PURRLOIN!!Welcome to Kuro's quest thread! Though I'm still working some things out (very little at this point), feel free to take a look and start criticizing me!~ I do ask that one share what they like about the character BEFORE they start laying out what's wrong. I only ask this because I have very little confidence in my character making skills, and need some encouragement once in a while haha.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:30 pm
Kuro(Japanese Translation: Black) Nick Name: Blacky Age: 20 Gender: Male Romance Preference: Bi Motto: " Want to play? "Birth Day: October 31st Post Color #541a63 Nature: Impish Ability: Unburden More Pictures: [x][x][x]Move Set Pursuit || Night Slash Hone Claws || Fury Swipes ____________________________ Positive Traits Courageous - Flexible - Optimist - Loyal - Courageous - Rather it's because he doesn't know better, or if he enjoys the thrill of doing the improbable, Kuro will do stunts that many wouldn't conceive of doing in there wildest day dreams. Kuro would be more than happy to fight against his fears, not that he has many. - Flexible - Blacky is willing to change his views and ways, but he doesn't tend to try to change them on his own. It's not that he doesn't want to, it's simply that he doesn't see his own behavior as good or bad. It would take someone working with him to actually change the behavior, and probably lots of frustration, but he's at least willing to change. - Optimist - Yes, even while killing someone does he look at the glass half full. He doesn't see the "Darkness" in life, and views just about everything as something fun to do. - Loyal - Even to this day, he remains loyal to his family, and would "forgive" them in a heart beat. If there were anyone else to get close to him, he would remain loyal to them as well.
Neutral Traits - Curious - Kuro is always up for learning something new, even if he can't quite understand it. It often he distracts him in the middle of a fight, allowing his opponent to escape if necessary.
Negative Traits Destructive - Rude - Oblivious - Sadomasochism - Destructive - Kuro destroys whatever he likes, just because he wants to. It's fun, he's bored, pick a reason. It's a hobby of his to see how much he can wreck. - Rude - If Kuro were to be described by one word, it would probably be rude. He hurts people intentionally, physically, verbally, and the like. He it's with his bare hands, goes where he pleases (even into houses), and will bite the hand that feeds him. - Oblivious - He's so oblivious that he's oblivious to being oblivious. Someone could cuss him out, and smack him upside the head with a frying pan, he won't know that they're upset. He may think on it later and consider it strange behavior, but one has to be straight forward with him to understand anything. - Sadomasochism - Very. Very, very, very. His idea of fun is hurting others, and that's about the only fun thing to do in his mind. And though he would never admit, he enjoys being in pain himself. Being defeated, no matter how embarrassing it was, actually made him feel quite good in the long run. While he may seem/act upset, inside he just wants to feel more.
Common Face Expression Regular - Clueless/Bored
About Blacky Kuro has lived most of his life isolated from others. When he does find others, he usually stalks them, studying them for a bit before deciding if they would be entertaining. If the are, he will attack them, human or not. This was his version of 'playing'/'socializing'. This doesn't always go in his favor, as many would imagine, and often also gets himself KO'd instead (if they are a trainer or a pokemon themselves). He's quick to flee but usually he'll come back in a fit of rage, unable to handle that he was beaten. Unfortunately he's usually blinded by the rage, and is actually easier the beat then the time before. So yes, he does spend quite a bit of his time injured, but he enjoys the thrill of fighting. In the end, defeated or not, he feels as if he's made some sort of social progress.
History Blacky was born a purrloin, just like any other. But from the very beginning was very different. He didn't understand what his impact on others were when he told them off, or when he just suddenly attacked someone for 'play' that it actually hurt them.
It was one day when he had clawed his brother so easily, and his family had finally had enough of him, that he came home to a den with no purrloin inside. His family abandoned him, and for good reasons, but he didn't understand that. Kuro cried and cried, wishing there was something he could do. What could he do though? Was there any way that he could possibly fix his behavior? How could he if didn't know that it was his behavior that was wrong?
Eventually traveling on, alone, he came across a human city. One filled with trainers, breeders, families... Families! This human city was full of people, no one was alone here! That's when he realized it! It was because he wasn't human that he was all alone. Why of course, that HAD to be it. But... How was he to become human exactly? That wasn't possible was it? Kuro didn't know any better, he just started to look for ways to become human. First he tried stealing some human cloths, and putting it on... That plan didn't work as well as he had hoped. Then he stole human food and tried that, again a complete failure. There were a few other ideas, like getting himself a pet, trying to talk on the phone, all ending with a broom to the head or just failure.
What did it take to become human?! Purrloin found himself outside the human town, hiding in a tree as he watched the many humans walk back and forth down the road. After a long day of FAILURE, which had put him in a bad mood, it was nice to just relax in a tree; Eventually falling asleep.
In a dream he could see his family, saw the way he used to play with his brothers, thinking he was having fun before their parents would come to 'his brothers' rescue and scold him. He couldn't see his errors, he couldn't see where he had been wrong. A new vision came into his dream, of the various human he had seen today. He felt so badly that turning human could fix him. It was then that he saw a strange human, well at least something he assumed was human, came into view. A pink smoke like substance clouded his thoughts, his mind, and before he knew it he was falling.
When he sat up, he realized he had fallen from the tree, must have rolled off. This wasn't the case after all, when looking up he saw the branch that he was once laying on was gone, and when he stood he realized it was hiding under his butt... His butt.
Kuro realized that he was human, or... At least more human than he previously been. He explored his body... In front of people... Naked... He caused quite the scene that day, and has sense found (stolen) some more clothing for himself. He still lingers mostly out in the wild, entering the city to fulfill any of his needs, and then leaving again to rest or prowl on the weak.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 9:59 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:00 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 4:04 pm
HOLAS! I do labu your boy absolutely, he seems fun, exciting, I'd love rp'ing with him myself, a risky, crazy, devil may care sort of character. Verry fun!
He might need some tweaking, and also I'm just a random critiquer so, my stuff caries no weight, so no worries you don't have to follow nuthin I say. Fwee!
I suggest taking another look at the Quest help threads sticky noted in the quest thread. Also look at other approved quests if you need examples of neutral traits -nods- They have some good ones! Not to copy, but just to see 'oh thats what one looks like' I was clueless of Neutral traits at first myself.
One thing your quest is needing that the staff will insist you need, is a Neutral trait. I believe you can have as many positive, negative, and neutral traits as you want as long as you have. At least 2 Positive, at least 2 Negative, and at least 1 Neutral trait. So right now you have lots of good neg and pos traits, but your missing just that one thing.
Courageous - Maybe not a positive trait in your guys case. Since he's risking his neck because he either is oblivious and ignorant of the danger or because he knows the risk and just doesn't care. He's definitely fearless, but not in a way one would normally associate with courage. I do like the trait though! I just think it needs a bit of tweaking, maybe a different word for it like..Dare devil..or..Thrill seeker..Reckless.
You can take his Curiosity and probably turn it into that neutral trait he needs!
His flexibility needs some fleshing, a bit more depth maybe? Is he flexible on his own, or does he absolutely need someone there to show him how to change?
I like his negative traits just fine. His destructiveness, rudeness, obliviousness, all seem to fit him well.
The one maybe issue with his negative traits are his sadistic..and masochistic tendencies..
Now there is such a thing as Sadomasochism, which might be what your trying to get at? Sadomasochism is - The combination of sadism and masochism, in particular the deriving of pleasure, from inflicting or submitting to physical or emotional abuse.
Which means he loves it when he hurts someone and loves it when someone hurts him back.
Now the conflict that I see, is that if your guy does feel good about getting his butt kicked in the long run..Than he can't also have this "Loosing, he's a poor sport." Maybe remove that all together from his optimism and then the two wont clash. Or pick Sadistic or Masochistic and stick with one instead of trying to use both. Then they could also mesh.
Thas it for now, I do think your guy is adorable! -the art is LUVLY BTW.-purrs- Verry nice. Once some of the kinks get hammered out he'll be so fun to play with!
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 6:20 pm
Thank yous so much for all the crits!! And being so gentle with me, t'was very relieving to hear that I didn't make too many mistakes. I WILL GO EDIT IT NAOW!! Thanks again <3.
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 7:16 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 4:54 am
Personality:1. Courageous While I can see where you're coming from in relation to this trait, would you also not consider him to be potentially reckless? He is, after all, performing stunts that would be considered incredibly dangerous by other individuals. I'm not demanding that you remove this trait, on the contrary, I'm encouraging you to consider that there might be more to it that you may wish to consider adding into his personality to give him more depth!
2. Optimist No offence is intended by this but he's coming across as a touch psychotic in the sense that he gets a kick out of everything which is a very dangerous and difficult personality to play. Psychosis can be very, very severe and rather than him falling into those realms I would almost be so bold as to ask that you change him to be less absolute. Very few people in the world are "absolute" and nearly everyone operates in the 'grey zone'. With that in mind you really need to consider when there are exceptions to his optimism as he's bound to have some.
3. Loyal Again, an absolute... If the betrayal is bad enough, loyalty can be severed. If he's truly this much of an absolute in terms of loyalty then you're going to have to go into the realms of true naivity as a personality trait as well.
4. Sadomasochism I have issues with this one so many levels, but I'll discuss the critical issue further down. However, in a general sense I regard this as incredibly inappropriate as a personality trait.Major Personality Questions and Issues:1. He would be killed by a much stronger gijinka/pokemon if he's truly as violent as you portray him. Tobias and Cruor are prime examples of individuals capable of annihilating Purrloin on the spot while others would string him up and torture him (Narcissus) before murdering him.
2. He would be arrested/shot or executed by law enforcement, he wouldn't live for much longer than thirty seconds.
3. Musharna is trying to gain respect for his fellow pokemon in the world of Entra, why in all that's holy would he EVER consider bringing a murderer into that world? This makes very little sense to me, Musharna wouldn't jeopardise himself deliberately and as it stands currently, Kuro is blatantly obvious in his violent tendencies which would ruin all that Musharna has strived for.
4. Sadomasochism is bordering on the realms above PG-13 which is against the ToS of Gaia, for that reason I would have to police you so heavily during RPs that you'd probably end up hating my very existence.
5. Do you honestly believe any gijinka is going to want to associate with Kuro if he's this vicious? They're all, for the most part, very sound and secure individuals who would have the sense to avoid him at all costs. With this in mind, I have concerns that you would struggle to fit in and find satisfying RP with this character concept. It's very unlikely that many individuals would have the patience to get on his 'good side' and very few people are inclined to let their characters get abused. Psychologically speaking, a character is always a 'part of the self', so it would be like asking them to subject themselves to the emotional abuse.
This is a general statement and not everyone falls into line with it, but you need to be incredibly careful or you're going to risk isolating yourself which isn't fun for anyone. =(
This shop is about RP, if you can't any...then there's really no point in having a character, you know?History:In line with the "Why would Musharna deliberately jeopardise his goals?" - The history is okay in theory, but based on the above personality concept, may need to be changed depending on how you decide to adjust Kuro. There is however, a very important point you need to remember and that is that Musharna makes an 'offer' rather than simply making things 'ahppen'. Kuro would have needed to have been presented with an offer before transforming rather than simply feeling like he was 'falling'. Keep this in mind as that is one bit you must clarify.
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