[[The Number Three]] Criticisms and Advice Appreciated. | Page 1 | Character Central Database | Guild Forums

The Number Three

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Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:24 pm

[[Entrance Attire]][][][][][[Wrestling Attire]][][][][][[Backstage Attire]]
.::Tag Teams::.
.::Stables::.
.::Championships::.
.::Biography::.
The Number Three worked as a side show illusionist. He had his entire body tattooed black, and has implants in the sides of his skull with shirt 3" dull horns. He also worked out with the strong-men in his troupe; and being part of a traveling circus group, he made his rounds through various indy-wrestling circuits. It was here he was discovered, for a large wrestler he was surprisingly agile. With his illusionist gimmick he drew in huge crowds and would sell out seats at most events.
.::Other Roles::.
.::Relationships::.
None Yet
.::Skill-Rate::.
[]75%[]
.::Highlight Reels::.
|-Jarel Damone vs Three-|
|-Three vs Jamie Bader-|

Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:34 pm

So I am fairly new, I've had a few matches, and I really love this. So I'm asking anyone, vets, newbies, and people who don't even exist. If you have any criticisms, constructive or otherwise, I'd love to hear them. If you have advice I'd love to hear it. My goal OOC is to put on the best matches I can that make not only myself but my opponents look good. I want people to be excited for matches with my name on them, and be excited to be in matches against me.

I will also be posting idea's for future changes in my character to get a feel of what other people think. So from this point on feel free to add your two-cents.

Please and Thank You.

The Number Three

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The Number Three

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Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:55 pm

I had requested advice from Nuclear Fusion on my match with Jarel in WWE:E. This is the reply I got, it was great advice and made me realize several of my shortcomings. All of which I am working on fixing. I thought I would post the advice here for everyone to see.

-Nuclear Fusion-

Okay, so I decided to read through back from the beginning (I had already read parts of it when I had enough free time), and so I'll attempt to point out things you could improve on, in a chronological order.

Here goes ..

Okay, my first fault I found was that in your opening promo, it was short and sweet, and was well laid-out; however, Three is completely unknown and so when the crowd start chanting "1, 2, 3", there was no plausible explanation as to why they would do this. Of course, he is challenging a man who has a big reputation, but that doesn't actually mean he would get his own chant within his first-ever time on the microphone in a WWE:E arena.

My second comes from the same page, and that's you didn't exactly set yourself up too well as a heel, face, or even tweener. I saw that Three appreciated how good/big of a superstar Jarel was, and acknowledged that the crowd would be cheering him on (a face move from Three), but from then onwards you seemed to have neglected the crowd. They are the reason for your alignment, and so if you involve them well, you can progress further in to being loved or hated by them. Try and have Three either get them heated up by shouting abuse at them (if heel), or get them cheering for both him and Jarel with some posts that reflect respect between the two; such as taking a break from grappling, to nod at your opponent, and possibly turn to the crowd and start a Jarel chant or something.
The following post could reflect on that as well:

[{"1" The referee's hand slaps the mat once, but on its way down for the second count Three throws a shoulder up. He kicks himself away from Jarel trying to climb back to his feet.}]

(2nd page)
As well as Three kicking out, if you had built yourself up early in the match, the first pinfall would allow for a better crowd reaction and you could incorporate that in to your post as wel. Now, I'm not saying to do this each and every post you make, but just from time-to-time to make it seem more realistic.

[{Three was a little disappointed, but he wasn't about to let that stop him. He got up and aimed a kick for jarel's head before he himself could get up.}]

That post of yours was on the third page, and was just after Jarel kicked out of your pinfall attempt. What you could have done here is put over Jarel by having the crowd cheer out for him kicking out; even if you're both face, there are bound to be more of his fans in the crowd, especially as this is a very early match in your career; your debut, I believe?

- Jarel rolls his shoulder off the canvas as the crowd cheers -

Although he's not a 'grammar nazi' like most others in G-Fedding, Jarel does know what he's doing, and especially as a Face. He incorporated the crowd in his kickout, and from then on it looks like the crowd are 100% behind him because there was no reaction to yours.

I appreciate that you acknowledge how fatiguing a match without breaks is, and so with all of those German Suplexes, you were ready to shift momentum if Jarel decided to no-sell at any point. Luckily for you, Jarel sold each and every one of them, and you gained the first pinfall; I see no crowd reaction again, however, and this would have been a good chance to have a few parts of the crowd start to rally both behind Jarel and Three.

The next few pages were interesting to read, if not .. Uninteresting at the same time. What I mean is that there were a couple of 'spots' in there, but that yourself and Jarel could have spoken about setting up a big ending to the match (that wasn't a second Tombstone Piledriver) which may have put you both over. That's where your combined thoughts should work out a decent ending to decide the final pinfall .. However, I'm not doubting that you did extremely well in selling Jarel's moves and allowing the match to fall his way; you have gotten yourself over by losing much more than you would have by winning, in fact.

Anything else you'd like to know? 3nodding

Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:06 pm

I requested the same as above from Tim for my match with Jamie. In both cases I got what I was looking for, and that was a biased perspective on what I could have done better. Here is Tim's advice for me as well.

timhaynie

Alright

In the opener I would taken the punch and sold it a little before going for a retaliation. But the punch was a good way to reestablish Jamie was a heel.

On page two you as a face probably shouldn't have kicked him in the back of the head, seeing you were the face.. Also, I'm on page 2 so far.. It seems you two have the psychology backwards a little. xd Usually the good guy takes the heat instead of the heel. That way the crowd can get behind the face and when the face finally get the eat back the crowd exploded..maybe it changes when I read more.

Jamie is doing a great job in this match on page 3 you guys got back on track with it. Good crowd reaction good selling, and a good pace. nothing rushed.

When in a move sell it for a post instead of trying to do another move. Every now and then go for a new move after taking a move, but if you sell a move, like the arm wringer it builds up the tension a little, also it helps expand the match more. Sort of like Jamie did after taking your german suplex.

On page you could have extended the submission out more than just one post. Heck you could have extended it a page before jumping up over the top rope.

All in all It was good match. I enjoyed reading it. Just work on a few things, it would probably be best if you were a heel and Jamie was a face. Because after reading the whole Match I wanted to cheer for Jamie more than you. xd

The Number Three

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