SSBrosM
I'm afraid I can't back up epine's approval, so I'll be moving it back to Crit stage for now. Sorry :C
Personality: You're going to have to cut back on positive traits by one here following the 2+, 2-, 1~ system we have in shop. They work, but you just need to fit one into the other. My suggestion is to move Patient and determined into one. Not as a motivated/determined/patient, but as a flat determined. If he's determined explain how in that virtue, how he is also patient. Motivated doesn't need to be stated here since the overall virtue is that he is determined, being patient and motivated merely work to build that virtue and support it. You can easily flow them together with a 'If a job requires him to wait, he does, having great patience.' Then fit the other trait right into that.
Critical and Oblivious are really in contrast here. If he's so critical about things, he would be picking up on those issues you have in obvious. That is not to say he can't be both. But, I would say that he's emotionally obvious and physically critical? If this isn't what you're intending, I might suggest making critical into 'harsh' or 'blunt'. Also, in that, the example really rides on art but does not tell me about how this would work with much else. You barely touch on this and again, I do want to know more. Give me an example that has nothing to do with art? (keep in mind, how is he so critical of people if he's also oblivious to them?)
Oblivious needs to show me more in terms of personal relationships. You again, will need to make it work with the other negative attribute more.
Serious: "He can either be serious when it comes to helping others, but" <-- ??? He can be serious or he can be ??? but this part is confusing due to the 'either be serious' yet not...saying...how he isn't. Elaborate please.
Strengths- Runs counter to oblivious, and if not, explain how.
