|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XxXWhite_Wolfy_GoddessXxX
|
 Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 6:42 pm
I am a 17 year old bisexual((Though I think I am turning more lesbian)). I have a girlfriend and have been with her for two years. We love each other very much and I would do anything for her to keep her happy. There is only one problem. My parents. I want to tell them so badly about her because I want to be able to talk to her and not say its someone else. I can only talk to her when my mom is either asleep or at work and I hate it. My mom is hard to talk to, everytime we see a lesbian couple she gets disgusted and starts swearing. Right there I begin to feel horrible because that is me and I wouldnt want me mom to swear at me and call me and my girl horrible names. Every time I talk about some friends who are gay she says its wrong and that they will go to hell. Has any of you had this problem? I just dont know what to do. Should I wait till I am 18 and move out then tell her and have her hate me for the rest of my life? Or should I just keep it a secret from her?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:08 pm
I would probably keep quiet about it until I moved out if I were you. Hiding it probably isn't exactly ideal, but if your mom feels that strongly and that negatively about same sex couples, then I think there's a good chance that telling her that you have a girlfriend would only create a lot of drama and make things even harder for you. I'd tell her once I moved out though. Because if I were financially independent, then I would want to live my life openly. If anyone (even a family member) had a problem with me and didn't want to be in my life because of it, then so be it. I think I'm better off without people like that anyway.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XxXWhite_Wolfy_GoddessXxX
|
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:11 pm
I agree but I have been with my mom through everything and I dont want her to hate me when I move out and never talk to me. I am very close with my mom and I dont want that to happen at all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:20 pm
Maybe you two could visit a family therapist when that time comes so that you can keep her in your life in a healthy way.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XxXWhite_Wolfy_GoddessXxX
|
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:27 pm
That is true. Thank you so much. heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 1:22 pm
I understand that I am seeing this very late, so my response may even be later, so I do apologize for that, but here it goes.
I would personally tell her. I am a blunt person. I came out to my family (I am bi) very young, and have never had a problem with anyone accepting me. Therefore, my situation is much different than yours. The reason I have such a strong opinion on this does have to do with the fact that I was raised in a very open family, but also because I understand how difficult it is to keep something like that under wraps. This is your identity, and when you do not show who you actually are to people, you feel a little less of yourself. At your age (and even for me at 21) you are going to go through so many dilemmas about your identity beyond sexuality, and sometimes hiding something that you are certain about (the certainty being that you know you are attracted to females, regardless of labeling yourself bi or lesbian) will make you feel so much less of yourself.
It is a very difficult situation to go through, so I would not recommend just sitting over coffee and telling her blatantly. Instead, I would slowly ease in the idea. When she calls other girls names, or speaks badly about something, question her as to why she really feels that way. If she says "those girls are going to hell," say something like: "why would a merciful god send someone there for simply loving someone," or something like, "if so, that's there choice, we have no control over that." Those may not be the best examples, but I do hope you are getting my point. Sometimes planting your ideas in other's heads can get them to see it on their own, and even sometimes, people will even change their feelings on a subject because they feel connected to it. I read an article about Cher not being comfortable with transexuality before one of her kids identified as the opposite sex, now, she's very open with that entire group of people.
If you need some coaching, or have any further questions, do send me a message, I will try to reply as soon as I can. It'd just a terrible situation to be in, and I understand.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
