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 Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:23 pm
Yue snorted. "What, you ever heard me talk like this to anyone?" she asked him, amused. She was being pretty open with him, but that was just how she was with him. Before, it would have been inappropriate and maybe unwelcome, but now it was natural. She hardly thought twice about some of the things she said.
The mischief in Jianyu's eyes was unmistakeable. She vowed to get him back, and at that moment, considered him a very worthy opponent. Which just made this game more fun. It was true that her skin had become flushed, pink, glowing with her scales as highlights. She muttered darkly when he insisted on dodging her kiss. "Emperor save you once you're not tattooing me, Yu; I'm going to get you back for all of this," she swore, her voice masking intense joy. Even if she was feigning irritation, it was fun to tease him.
Lying on her stomach, unable to see above her very well, she felt extremely vulnerable. The only thing that calmed her was knowing it was Jianyu who watched over her. She could mostly clear her mind, knowing that was the case. She braced herself for the touch of his brush, but it didn't come. Instead, he tilted her chin upwards towards him. She smiled, her eyes half-shut with mischief. "I might. I'd have to think of a particularly good question... These things take time, fierce warrior. Otherwise, yes. I'm not afraid." And she wasn't. The truth was the truth. It was about the way someone phrased it. You could phrase a truth in a kind or harsh way, and it was about learning the difference and finding a balance. Yue Lao wasn't the best in terms of salvaging someone's emotions, and in fact she was usually the one stressing them out, but still. She understood the principle of the matter.
The kiss was much needed. Yue returned his light kiss, moving only gently, until she could kiss him more firmly. Her mouth was soft against his as he parted her lips and breathed in, and tentatively she slipped the tip of her tongue into the kiss, before he drew back to whisper in her ear. If he was pathetic, she was no better. That was hardly how she looked at it, however. The world be damned if wanting to kiss him was pathetic; when he kissed her, she felt consumed by some great flame, and within that fire, every touch felt like ascension into heaven. And these were only the smallest touches, fleeting kisses; she could hardly imagine what would happen if she was no longer denied more.
"Oh, give me time, Yu. I will find a way," she promised, though the n** at her ear only made it more uncomfortable to lie still. "Yu, I think the cloths are slipping...!" she teased, a note of alarm in her voice as he turned her sideways. She was clearly holding onto them firmly, however, and her eyes glinted wickedly. She bit down on her lip as he touched the brush to her skin again. It was definitely cold, and not a sensation which she could get used to easily.
Yue Lao thought for a moment, and replied, "Hmm? It's up to you, Yu." I just want to be so close to you that I can't tell which side of us is me, and which is you; I want to give you everything, she thought to herself.
She muttered darkly again in frustration, and protested, "Hey now, I'm being good! As good as I'm about to get while sitting here holding cloths over my chest and having my future husband trace a brush along my bare skin, anyway. Besides, what's wrong with watermelon? They can be guardians, too...!" Yue Lao most certainly did not want a giant watermelon on her side, as much as she liked to joke about these things, so with an expression which was both irritation and amusement, she tried to remain obscenely still.
It was no easier.
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:42 pm
"You'll never get me back for this," Jianyu told Yue with a smirk. He was not about to admit, however, that her deepening the kiss into something more had very nearly broken his resolve to remain professional. A fire had roared in the pit of his stomach at that single gesture, and it was only just barely that he had managed to douse it.
A few weeks, he kept reminding himself. A few weeks and we will be married.
Then there would be no need to stop his kisses before they got too far, no need to hesitate before touching her, wondering if it the situation would allow for it. Once Yue was his wife, the world would be open to them - not just a physical one, but mentally as well. It was a door they were both walking through, and though truthfully the idea frightened him a bit, he was exhilarated and overwhelmed at the prospect of his best friend becoming his wife.
The basic lining was nearly finished now. Once it was completely done, Jianyu would be able to draw over it with the needles, trace the paths into Yue's skin. Again, he felt a small bit of wariness that stemmed from not wanting to hurt her, but she had wanted this, and he knew she was strong.
"I shall have to think of a question to ask you, then. And if you let go of that cloth, I feel things will get a little too dangerous," Jianyu said mildly, completing the loop of the thread in one quick swipe of his brush. It was the last part of the white that he needed to paint, and he set the brush aside. His hands rested on each of Yue's arms, and slowly he slid them up until he was holding her bare shoulders, leaning down to whisper into her ear.
"Do not tempt me, Stargazer," he murmured. "And rest assured that it just as difficult for me right now as it is for you."
He sat back, surveying his work with a careful expression. "Something tells me you would not want a watermelon, my dear," he replied, suppressing a laugh. "As it is, I have finished the basic outline. Sit up, please."
The tracing would be the most difficult, and the most painful. Jianyu waited until Yue had moved and then he sat behind her, his legs on either side of her. "Draw your legs up to your chest and hold your arms around them," he instructed. "However, try to remain as straight as possible."
The needles were in one hand, ready to go, and Jianyu exhaled slowly, letting out a small sigh as he reached up, brushing Yue's hair off of her shoulder, away from where he was to be working. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades, smoothing his hand down her back.
"Are you ready, love?" he asked her seriously. "If you are...I will begin."
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:19 am
Yue Lao would have glared at Jianyu, had she been able. "That sounds like a challenge, my love. Wanna bet?" she asked him. It was true that he could definitely pin her, as he had proven many times, but she was not beyond getting him back in other ways.
Thinking about it, it seemed like a much better idea their engagement not be too long. If this was as bad as they were after one week, she could only imagine how it would escalate. Being appropriate was not something Yue Lao did well, but she was honestly trying-- well, trying to remain somewhat appropriate. She was certainly not trying at all to be kind and not tease him. To Yue Lao, the concept of finally marrying Jianyu still felt distant, like she couldn't quite understand it. The concept was so big, and stretched out into the rest of her life. She would belong to him, and only him, for all her days living, and even those after. But that would have been the nature of her love regardless. This way, their love could be reciprocal, could find a balance. And she would understand the rhythm of his life, match it with her own.
"We'll trade questions, someday," Yue decided, "...once I can think of a good enough question. Regardless of whether or not you have one, too," she said, with a grin. It felt like he had traced most of the work, now, and she looked forward to the outline. It was also, in a way, a rite of passage. She had been training as a fighter for quite some time, and with any luck (and a lot of working her butt off, even in a time when she was so preoccupied with Jianyu) she would be promoted to the rank of Captain sometime after their wedding. Close enough to her original request.
The idea of being cleansed by pain, of becoming stronger the more you suffered, Yue understood this ideal. That was not to say she would actively seek out pain; she had watched Jianyu suffer enough injuries and illnesses to know that some things were better off dormant. But in this case, it was a ritual she looked forward to. Even if Jianyu wasn't as passionate about tattooing as his father, she was pretty fascinated by it.
She wasn't capable of answering his suggestion that if the cloths slipped, things would be dangerous. A significant portion of her wanted to test that, wanted to just push their situation over the edge. Thankfully, what rational sliver there was to Yue Lao kept her holding the cloths in place. She wanted to tease him, not test him.
Her throat felt as if it had closed, as he rested his hands on her arms and slid them up to her shoulders, whispering in her ear. "Can't help but tempt you, beloved one. Glad to hear we're both having a difficult time, at least," Yue said, exhaling a heavy sigh. As if the burden of being good was impossible to bear.
She obeyed his request, sitting up, holding her forearm over her chest again. She pulled her legs in, wrapped her arms around them, and kept her back straight. It felt just like she was attempting some strange form of meditation. She wet her lips and pursed them, thinking. She just wanted more kisses again, already; it was becoming a ridiculous addiction, beyond what she could have predicted. Having been denied his kisses for so long, now she was simply taking them whenever she could. With relish.
Every kiss was treasured. Just like every smile, every sound of his laughter, every brush of his skin against hers was treasured and filed away in her memory. His kiss against her back, and the touch of his hand, calmed her again. She had been tense, but tried to relax as she remained straight. "I am ready, dear Yu. Please, start? I'll stay still, promise. Especially if you're not teasing me with kisses," she said softly. Her voice was tender, an attempt to reassure him. I'll be fine, this pain is nothing.
Even if the searing pain of the extensive outline would likely give her at least a little to complain about. It would be incredibly worth it once it was all done. "I love you," she added in, stating it simply but with sincerity. She braced herself for the needle.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:35 am
Jianyu had been trying to put off starting the outline for as long as it could take, for the sheer reason that causing Yue pain was a horrible concept to him. He had tattooed many patrons, from the young to the very old, and although it had been hard working on them, he had managed to keep himself both professional and neutral during the work. However, Yue Lao was not just his future wife; she was his best friend, one of the people with whom he trusted everything, his life included. He had seen her at her worst and at her best, and he truly hated the idea that he was about to be the cause of something painful.
Stay calm. Act professional. She is capable of handling this fine. It is not too painful, after all.
He exhaled slowly, and leaned forward, skimming his lips along her back until he was resting his chin on her shoulder. Setting the needles down for a moment, he wrapped both arms around her waist, hugging her tightly from behind.
"My dear, you have no idea just how difficult a time I am having right now," Jianyu murmured into Yue's ear, his tone mild, his breath fanning out over her face. He nuzzled his nose against her cheek, closing his eyes briefly. "And believe me when I say I look forward to teasing you with more than just kisses."
This last part was whispered so quietly it was barely audible. He was not quite certain when he had become so...bold, but Yue certainly had a way of pulling him out of his shell, so to speak. Jianyu seemed unable to act rationally around Yue; she made him feel as if he could do anything, say anything, even if it was ridiculous and outlandish. He started to move away, but her "I love you" stopped him, and he moved closer instead, so close that his chest was pressing against Yue's back, and Jianyu half turned so that he could see her face, tilting Yue's head towards him.
"For luck," he said simply, and kissed her. This time it was him who parted her lips with his tongue, very gently, and he did not dwindle too long. After a moment he pulled back.
"I love you too." he breathed quietly, and kissed her forehead, sighing again. He slipped back into the proper position.
"Stay very, very still," Jianyu said, brows drawing together in concentration. He picked up the correct needle, thin and sharp, and dipped it into the black paint. Taking a breath, he bent over Yue's back and pushed the needle under her skin, drawing the first line.
"Talk to me," he said to her as he worked, his movements slow and taken with extraordinary care and caution. "It will distract you from the pain. Here, I will ask you one of your questions and you can answer me truthfully."
A slight hesitation. Then he asked "...when did you first realize that you loved me?"
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:09 am
Yue wished there was some way she could reassure or comfort Jianyu. She didn't want him, even for a second, to worry about her over this; it had been her decision, and she was certain that it would be fine. At the same time, the idea that he would hesitate so much over even this much pain made her smile in a deeply content way. It would be the same for her, she suspected. Knowing that you had to inflict pain on the one that you loved did not seem like an easy concept to deal with. But here they were, and they would be fine. She trusted him. She hadn't gone there thinking it would just fail to hurt because it was Jianyu tattooing her, but... there had been much worse pain than this would be. Still, if she could reassure him... she wished at that moment that she did have some kind of calming power.
That was a far shot, though, and in the end she was barely grasping battle magic. She sighed heavily as he leaned his chin on her shoulder, reaching one hand back to carress his face, though she could not adequately see; she moved slowly, to avoid missing and stabbing him with her fingers or something. Yue Lao was surprisingly not very clumsy, despite her nature and her drunken swagger. When he hugged her, she wrapped her arms around his and squeezed him close, closing her eyes and allowing herself to believe for a moment that he would never have to let go. The way she was sitting, her knees held the cloths up, so she didn't have to worry, even if his arms were around her waist.
"Anything I can do to make it less difficult?" Yue asked, her voice quiet, low. Whenever he spoke so close to her hear, so that she could feel his breath, his lips against such a sensitive place, her whole body shivered again. His nuzzling made her smile. Sometimes, lately, a very strange and overwhelming emotion had begun to overcome her. She became so happy that she felt as though she would either explode or cry, relief and joy. But she was not the type to cry, and it had been a rare occasion that Jianyu's proposal had exposed her weakness. The sentiment, however, remained. Gently, she nuzzled him back, tilting slightly so that she could. Her eyes widened briefly, as he was bold enough to suggest that he would tease her in other ways once it was appropriate.
A grin spread across her face in a split second, and her eyes glinted with something like both excitement, pleasure at hearing him say such things, and frustration that she would have to wait regardless. "I am going to hold you to that, Yu," she promised, vehemently. The way that Yue allowed Jianyu to be so irrational, Jianyu allowed her to be sincere. He mattered to her. He was the first person who really had, in any kind of significant and non-familial capacity. Before Jianyu, everyone was a game. They had no personal traits, they had no emotions, there was nothing to hold Yue back from treating them like a puzzle to solve. She needled to get their true selves out, she did so without remorse. Just toys to be broken.
And Jianyu had unlocked her, he had shown her that was not all there was to her personality. It was like she had been waiting, all that time, for Jianyu to allow her to unfold and expose the heart. She had, since he had been able to make her fall in love with him, learned not just to love him honestly, but to care for others, as well. She had real friends. She had good, true friends. And now she had Jianyu. Even if loving him had been painful while she was younger, it had allowed her to change, to shrug off the constraints of her youth and her selfishness.
Yue's eyes were shimmering brightly when Jianyu turned her face so that he could kiss her. And this time he was the one who took initiative, deepening their kiss. The kiss left her reeling, and when he pulled back, she felt as though a part of her had been hacked away. She wasn't able to speak right away, so she just took a deep breath and concentrated on staying still.
The first needle was surprisingly painful. Because of the nature of an outline, it was particularly difficult to stomach, and she realized that it would be an entire tattoo's worth of this unpleasant and painful sensation. Hopefully she would get used to it. She used all her meditation tricks to keep still in that moment. The pain of an injury was easier, in a way; fighting, you understood your wounds. In this tattoo, the thin and painful needle was slow, methodic. But on the other hand, as she got used to it, it was a pain she could expect. And so she began to look to the sensation, understanding that it would be near-constant. His voice helped draw her out of whatever meditative state she had entered.
She bit her lip to keep the feeling under control. It wasn't a big deal, it really wasn't, she just needed to take it easy... "Distractions would be appreciated," she said, trying not to let the discomfort of pain into her voice.
The question he asked was a tricky one. How to answer it? How to make sure the answer was honest? She thought back, scouring her memory. Much of it was clouded: at the end of her Academy training, she had been confused, hurt, and frustrated much of the time. She had picked a lot of fights with people she had to apologize to later. "When I first realized it, not when I first felt it?" she clarified, then paused again to think. "After I first felt it, I think I realized in small moments. If you would kiss my cheek, or tell me that you cared for me, even in a platonic way. I think a part of me realized it during those moments, but could not understand what it was." Suddenly, it occurred to her, the exact night and day she had finally figured out that she loved him all that time.
"When we were ambushed," she said, "and you were wounded because my fighting style was neither good enough nor effective enough to save you from sustaining that injury. That was when I realized I loved you. Because while I stayed by your side that whole time, terrified you wouldn't wake, I knew that if you died a part of me would die, too. Whether I wanted to or not. I talked to Liwei, Ehuang, my mothers... but I only wanted to be by your side." She spoke evenly, slowly, remembering and feeling all the same things she had. It was, indeed, an excellent distraction from the pain. "And when you finally woke, and I was there with you, I wanted to wake up with you every morning. I was in love with you then, and I knew it." she smiled to herself, though her eyes seemed a little sad. It was a good thing, she thought, Jianyu couldn't see her expression.
The sadness there was because remembering when she had realized it brought back the memories of her nightmares, her feelings of inadequacy, her frustration at loving him but being able to do nothing in return. It had clouded her judgement, which infuriated her. She hated being so helpless. Because when something bothered Yue Lao, when anything wasn't up to her standards, she fixed it. She didn't allow it to get the best of her, and she certainly did not dwell on it. She took decisive action. How could you take decisive action against love? She had tried and Yowai had intervened. It was selfish and disshonest, she said, to pretend that those feelings for people weren't there. It was cruel. Not only to them, but to her own self.
Yue Lao pushed those memories, the dark ones, out of her head. As soon as she did, the needle's pain came marching back in. "What about you, Fierce Warrior? What made you finally realize...?"
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:41 am
For a few moments, Jianyu wished he had the healing magic that many of the soul conduits or priests had. Some of them had a way of touching that spread warmth from their fingertips, soothing the ache of a pain, gentle words spreading a calming sensation across whomever it was they were helping. But Jianyu had never been defensive in his position; strictly offensive, specializing in elemental magics that enhanced his fighting abilities, rather than defended himself. And he had never wanted for anything else; at least not until right now, at this moment. He knew the needle would be painful at first; it was always the start that had even the strongest of men flinching, but once he was in motion it became easier, both to tolerate and bear.
"Breathe deep," Jianyu said gently, drawing the needle across Yue's back, beneath her shoulder blade. "Breathe steady. Don't think about the pain. Concentrate on me, and listen to my voice. It will all be over soon, I promise."
The process took several hours, at least, since if he went too fast he could cut her in places that weren't meant to be marked. Not to mention the amount of detail in her tattoo would make for a long time, and she needed the distraction, both to keep still and to focus on something other than the pain. It took a strong mind to be able to do that, but Jianyu was determined.
"...I remember that night," he said quietly, feeling a wave of sadness wash over him. "I believed I was going to die, that I couldn't...save you."
Except he had, and she had saved him, regardless of whether or not she believed her abilities to adequate enough. He remembered the feeling of being dizzy, delirious from the fever and in an immense amount of pain that felt as if it were going to consume him. Jianyu had truly thought that it was his last night, though he had not had enough strength to do anything but lie there, lost in a blackness he could not escape. That had been the night he had first told Yue he loved her, but at the time he had meant it purely platonically, the way a brother loved a sister. How could he have ever thought that several months later he would be saying it again, only this time with a meaning so opposite it was nearly ridiculous?
Jianyu was silent for a moment, working steadily. Then he said "I was working on a mission for one of the generals a few weeks back. I was going in circles, and nothing was making sense. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing something from my notes, something crucial, but I didn't know what it was."
Another line was drawn. Finished with her back, Jianyu inched backwards, gently pushing Yue down onto her side and kneeling over her, his mouth pressed together in a thin line. "Hold the cloth with your free hand," he said, and gently moved her other arm away from her side. His fingers brushed down her ribcage, then back up again. This particular area would be the hardest. The skin over the ribs was one of the more tender areas, and most commonly the most painful area; not to mention that in order to get to where he needed to mark, he would have to move his hand close towards certain areas, and at the moment Jianyu did not want to do anything that would cause Yue to move. Moving could be dangerous, so he leaned over her, his fingers gentle.
"Do not move, even if I touch you," he whispered, brushing a few stray strands of hair away from her face, which was tinged a pale pink. "I need you to keep very still for me, love."
He settled back down, kneeling above her, and bent towards her side, beginning the lines. As he did so, he started speaking again.
"I wasn't sure I would ever be able to figure out the answer to what I was missing from notes," he said, tracing over the dragon's eye with a careful precision. "But on my desk, there is a box with some of my most treasured possessions. A carving from my sister, a note from Bataar, the beads my brother-in-law made for me, the hawk given to me by Huang (which I am wearing now), and...a ribbon, from your hair."
A smile touched Jianyu's lips, warm and tender. "You tied it around my finger one night, laughing over how it was a remembrance of you. I was looking at that ribbon, and it suddenly came to me - both the answer to what I was missing from my notes, and what I was missing from my life."
His hand pressed beneath her arm, fingers brushing against the side of her chest as he traced the line of the ribbon, finally finished with one of the dragons. "Such a simple answer; I nearly hit myself when I realized it," Jianyu said, somewhat ruefully. He sat back, moving off of Yue and reached for one of the towels, dipping it into the water bowl. He wrung it out and pressed it against Yue's side.
"Use your arm to keep that in place. You can't lay on your back because of the marks, at least not right now, so you will have to sit up while I work on the front."
Yue's shoulders were still fine, so Jianyu carefully shifted so that she could lean them against the wall, the whole of her back away from it. Then he sat in front of her and drew her legs on either side of him, his own beneath hers. It all but put Yue directly into his lap, if he had been sitting cross-legged.
"Remember, do not think about what I am doing," Jianyu said to her, and dipped the needle into the ink again. Before he started, he ducked his head, kissing Yue's forehead, reassuring her that it would be all right. Then his left hand gripped Yue's hip firmly and he started the outline beneath her breastbone.
"That was only when I realized my feelings. However, I suspect they started quite a while before then," Jianyu went on. He dotted a line carefully, his thumb pressing into Yue's waist.
"In fact," Jianyu said softly, his eye flickering upwards to meet Yue's for a brief moment before moving back to his work. "I do believe it was that first night; the one where you came to find me after Bataar and I had split. I have a feeling that was when I started to first fall in love with you, though I did not recognize my own feelings at the time."
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:39 am
Neither Yue nor Jianyu were made to be defensive types. Which meant that if they were ever to fight together, although they would make a powerful offensive force, they weren't well-equipped with support. Though that would be the benefit of having others to fight alongside; Yue, for example, was looking forward to the day Sara graduated. Sara would prove a useful Soul Conduit, she suspected, and a wonderful ally. Yue would keep Sara with her, because she trusted her, and knew the Soul Conduit would improve in power. Still, that didn't help them right then, when they would both rather the pain was lessened.
"Breathing," Yue said quietly, taking a deep, even breath as he pulled the needle below her shoulder blade. The sound of his voice was rhythmic, calming. However, if she unfocused too much, she found herself feeling a little sleepy, so she had to concentrate at least a little on staying away. The pain was not so bad, the more she felt it. Yue listened to him as he spoke. Hearing the sadness in his voice, she longed badly to curl up against him, to kiss his cheeks, to stroke the side of his face. She wanted to comfort him. It was instinctual.
At the time he told her that he loved her, she knew that it was only platonic. And yet, feeling her heart swell to hear it, that was what really gave her emotions away. Because more than anything at that moment, she seemed to want him to mean it in a different way. She wanted so badly to believe that he could love her as she discovered she loved him. The love she felt for him had not always been romantic, either; it had started as a tender feeling which wanted simply to be around him, to be his best friend. She loved being in his presence, so that was what she sought out. And suddenly, the love she had felt had transformed before her, shifting into the kind of love that wanted to hold Jianyu close and never let go.
As much as it surprised Jianyu that his feelings had changed so utterly, it surprised Yue even more. The way he had spoken of Bataar, she had never once thought that he could return her feelings. Well, she had thought about that often, ever since he proposed. At first, when he proposed, she had been completely floored by the offer. She had absolutely no idea he could feel that way. And then relief, because the struggle to forget him and what she felt was over. She could give in, finally. She could love him with all her heart. With everything she had.
Listening to him speak of notes reminded Yue Lao that being a Captain was very different from being a Fighter. As a Fighter, she just got to go where she was told and kick a**. As a Captain, she would have to learn how to do the telling. It would not be too much of a stretch; Yue was quick-witted and liked to take charge, if rallying the girls to the men's side of the bathhouse was any indication.
Again, she obeyed as he told her to hold the cloth, and she winced visibly as he pushed her onto her side. The pain wasn't so bad if she kept still, but as soon as she moved, little bolts of pain shot through her. Why had she picked a design so complicated? Silently, she cursed herself and her ambitions. But she would hardly be Yue Lao without ambition. The sensation of being in pain mixed strangely with the pleasure of feeling his fingers across her rib cage. She knew how thin and sensitive the skin was, as she had taken many blows to the area which healed in a very different way, and so she chewed the inside of her cheek. "An excuse to touch me?" Yue joked, to take her mind off the pain and the inevitable worsening which was about to take place. "For you, I will be as still as a rock in winter," she said. It made little sense, even to Yue, but that was her old self slipping out again.
The pain was overwhelming, for the first while. It was his voice she held onto, to keep from focusing on it. It was crucial she sit still, even if it hurt like she could not have imagined. A needle drilling into her side; how could it feel anything else but painful?
"My ribbon..." she said, holding herself still to keep from laughing, though it escaped into her voice. "I guess this tattoo is even more accurate than I would have thought," she finished. The red thread of fate. She believed it now as she did then. She listened to him with a soft smile on her face, her eyes shutting as she concentrated again on the sound of his voice. So that was how it had happened... it made sense a little more, now, and she appreciated the extra information. Yue liked to be well-informed.
Yue kept the towel in place, along with her cloth, and leaned against the wall as he directed, keeping the wounds away from the surface. "If only I was sitting in your lap right now," Yue murmurred, her eyes both dull with pain and glinting mischieviously in turn. Yue smiled as he kissed her forehead, taking a deep, even breath. Her voice, as Jianyu continued to tattoo her, kept getting more soft, more honest. As if concentrating was draining some of the harshness out of her, and leaving a side to Yue Lao that was rare to see. She didn't even drink very much, so alcohol wouldn't expose it the way it could with others.
Thinking back on the night, she knew that was when he had found his way into her heart, too. "That was the night I started to feel for you, too," she said, "but I didn't know what it was. I didn't even know I could love anyone," Yue finished. She was trying very hard not to laugh, and kept her stomach straight, as much as she wanted to. She would be happy when she could laugh freely again.
What could she ask him now? She wondered, thinking about it for a while. "I think that I realized a little how much I cared for you when I had to meet Ishtar," she admitted, with a rueful smile. "I think I actually got a little jealous when you sent me off to talk to her," she added. "Even though I knew better." It was true: she had been a little sad to leave his side while he was with Ishtar. It was also when she realized that if she was going to deal with her feelings, she would need to make more friends, so that if and when she was unable to be near Jianyu, she wasn't just off on her own, moping.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:07 am
"I should not need an excuse to touch the woman who will be my wife in the very near future," Jianyu said, in a voice laced with amusement. He lifted a brow, adding mildly "If I want to touch you, I will."
It was mostly true; there were some circumstances that would require them to be respectful of their surroundings, but for the most part Jianyu felt no particular need to make an excuse to touch Yue, to hold her hand, put his arm around her. She belonged to him, and he to her, and that was good enough for the both of them.
He wondered what Yue had felt that first time he had told her he loved her. Had she felt sadness? Pain, since it was not the sort of love for which she both desired and longed for? Happiness that he had given her some small form of affection, though it had not been romantic at the time? He wanted to hear her thoughts, learn everything he could about her. Was that not what being married was about? Taking the time to discover more and more things about the person that you loved?
"You are free to sit in my lap any time you wish to," Jianyu told her gently, his arm moving to slide beneath her, under her lower back to hold her steady as he pressed the needle against her torso. His face grew serious, and a low sigh escaped him. "To be perfectly honest, I had not thought it possible for me to love anyone after my separation from Bataar," he said, the tip of his tongue showing as he concentrated forcefully on finishing the lines beneath her chest. "At the time, I was so despondent that I felt it impossible to move forward. But then you showed up, demanding I get up, and, well...here we are."
Jianyu's brows rose, and for a moment he paused, looking up at Yue with a surprised expression. "Ishtar?" he repeated, frowning a bit. "But I never felt for Ishtar the way I do for you, or the way I felt for Bataar. She was merely an acquaintance of mine, one that I met while she was still at the Academy."
He remembered that day; Ishtar had seemed quite ill at ease, glaring at Yue with a pointed look, and Yue had left too easily, seemingly fine. However looking back at it now, Jianyu realized that she had left because she had thought otherwise; she had been hurt by his asking to speak to Ishtar alone.
Lowering his head, Jianyu closed his eyes briefly, his lips against Yue's collarbone as he spoke. "I never loved Ishtar," he said quietly, moving his face downwards, skimming his mouth over her shoulder, where the scar was. "I loved Bataar, yes, but I was not...in love with him."
He dropped his head lower still, hovering for a moment, then kissed where the place her heart was, just barely above where the cloth was covering. "However, I am in love with you. No one else."
Pulling back, Jianyu made to finish the last of the lines, shifting so that he could reach her other side, his arm resting against her upper thigh as he worked. "I am...not very good at this, you know," he said abruptly, and his cheeks had tinged red, his voice hesitant and uncertain. "I have not...I mean, I have never felt for someone the way I do for you. I understand that my proposing must seem very spontaneous, especially to those around us, and I realize that my constant desire for physical affection must become tiresome after a while. I am certain that those around us find it quite out of character for me, since I am not normally one to be quite so...forward, but..."
Another sigh escaped his lips, Jianyu tracing over the last few lines of the dragon on Yue's right side. "I am just...trying to make up for lost time, I suppose," he said quietly. "After all, I kept you in pain for so long because of my ignorance, and even now I regret not knowing how I felt...but even now I wish to hold you in my arms forever and never let go, which is something I have not yet felt before."
He set the ink down into the pan of water, along with the bottle of ink and slipped both hands to Yue's sides, very slowly and gently lifting her away from the wall so that she could sit properly.
"Finished," he said softly, without moving, his uncovered eye meeting hers.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:36 am
Yue arched one brow. "I meant..." she was about to explain she was joking about the skin which the cloths covered, but changed her mind. Well, if he wanted to state it that way, why not? Although she would probably have given him a strange look had she been able. She definitely wasn't talking about touching her in the acceptable ways: they had always been close, always hugging, or holding onto each other. That would not need any excuse.
It had felt like many of the things Jianyu suspected, the first time he told her that he loved her. It had been painful, because she had wanted to hear it so badly, and yet it was not truly the way she discovered she needed. Hopeful, because if he loved her this way now, perhaps somewhere within him a deeper love slumbered. As time passed, she had given up hope that was the case, acknowledging falsely that he could never return her love in the same way. It had been tinged with sadness, then, that her hopes would likely be unfounded. But mostly, there was a sense of rightness, and relief, and joy; because no matter how he meant it, she loved him, too.
"As soon as I am able, I will take you up on that," she promised, smiling. "Watch out, though--! I may just take to draping myself across your lap at every possible occasion," she cautioned, her smile growing, even as he concentrated. The smile grew sad, again, as she thought of something which had plagued her constantly, even before Jianyu had proposed. "Part of me is always afraid that you're going to realize you just want to return to him," she admitted, "but it's not the logical part. Yu, you make me feel illogical, and I can't sort things out like that. But I love the way that you make me feel..." Her voice grew very soft at the end, and she felt strange, confessing these weaknesses.
She stuck the tip of her tongue out as a substitute for laughter, to keep herself from moving. "I know, I never said it made sense." It wasn't that she was particularly injured; she knew that Ishtar's temper was significantly worse than hers, and she knew that Jianyu needed to calm her. Having Yue around would only make it worse. She understood all of these things, but there was some stupid irrational part of her that had missed him.
And she felt incredibly stupid for having even voiced her weaknesses, when he reassured her. Her eyes flickered down to her shoulder as he kissed her scar, and she remembered for a split second the way the arrow had felt as it shot through her shoulder and lodged there. The way she had, promptly after, passed out from the pain of trying to dislodge the arrow. It made the pain of tattooing seem insignificant. "I am in love with you, too," Yue whispered, as her skin grew warm from his kiss again, "so let's stay this way, then. In love. Always."
Love could fade with time, perhaps, but Yue Lao was not that kind of individual. Her loyalty was a fierce and dedicated thing. To have it meant never needing to worry whom she loved, not even for a split second. His honesty stung, in a way that made her want to love him extra, if it was even possible; it stung in that it reached a place in her heart she had kept so carefully guarded. And he was able to walk in and out of it as he pleased, without a moment's hesitation. That door was simply open to him. She marvelled at that, smiling at him even as he apologized for not being good at being in love. She would have laughed then, too, because his feelings mirrored her own. "I'm not very good at it either, you know," she replied, "until you taught me how to care for someone other than myself, I was beyond selfish. Everyone was a game. And in growing up, because you helped me feel this, I realized that I cared for you and now for others. I was able to consider their needs before my own. All because of you. So I'm still new at this, and I don't want to hurt you, but I can't say I know how to avoid it, so..." Yue sighed. "Please bear with me."
"To be honest, I don't much care what the others think. I loved you all this time, and even if you didn't know it, you loved me earlier than you realized, too. Our parents saw it, and my friends... well, I kept it a careful secret, but they would know now if I explained what I'd been doing those times they thought I had gone mad. I was trying to deal with unrequited love." Yue stared up at the ceiling. Then back down at Jianyu. "I always want you to be close. I feel greedy wanting even more kisses, and if I could figure out a way to tangle us up so that no one could separate us, even for a second, I would do it." Her eyes sparkled with laughter.
She wanted to lean in, wanted to kiss him. It was a curse for someone usually so physically expressive not to be able to move when she wanted to so badly. Communicating with only words and expressions was difficult for her. Probably for anyone. "No regrets, because we made it this far," she said, as if it was a mantra she herself had to use often.
With a heavy sigh, and an attempt at stretching without really moving, Yue winced in pain and smiled. She tilted her head, regarding Jianyu carefully. There was no way, in that moment, to tell him how much she loved him.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:05 pm
"I am quite aware of what you meant, my dear," Jianyu said with a small laugh, shaking his head, eyes dancing with mischief. "And my answer still goes quite along well with it."
He was teasing her again, trying to keep her distracted from the pain of the needle. But he was almost done, and just needed a little more time to keep Yue preoccupied. They would not fill in the colors today; that would take several hours at least, but the outline would be finished and have time to heal before the colors were spread over them. "I look forward to you feeling liberated enough to do such a thing," Jianyu said, barely suppressing the amusement in his voice. "And I must caution you that I might take to pulling you into my lap at every possible occasion."
Yue's own words had filled with a soft insecurity; a strange trait for one as confident as she was. "I taught you nothing you did not already know yourself," Jianyu said softly, a smile ghosting over his lips. "You are the one who chose to change; I did nothing. Perhaps I merely instigated a little, but people do not change unless they truly want to."
She was right, however; everyone had seen it. Everyone but himself, the very person for whom Yue had felt so much love; a love that she had believed to be unrequited for so long. Jianyu gave a small snort, shaking his head. "My mother was quite aware of my feelings before I had even the smallest inkling," he said with a low laugh. "Honestly, sometimes I believe she is clairvoyant."
As he finished and pulled her upright, however, his face grew serious, however, a pained expression replacing the lighthearted one. Lifting his hands, he cupped her face tenderly, looking into her eyes as if searching for something; an answer, perhaps?
"I loved Bataar," he whispered, and there was no mistaking the bittersweet tone to his voice. "And he loved me - at least, I think he did. One can never tell with that man. But like I said; we were not in love with each other. There is only one person that I am in love with; only one person with whom I have ever fallen in love with, and that is you."
He shifted closer, her legs still on either side of him as he curled one of his own inward so that she was in his lap this time. "The only regret I have with you is losing a year that I could have been with you like this," Jianyu murmured, his hands cradling her head, brushing against her neck. His gaze flickered, his thumbs brushing against her jawline, and then he kissed her again, with as much care he had taken to outline the tattoo on her body. Jianyu kept his hands where they were, not wanting to risk pressing against the newly drawn lines, but he did not break the kiss, slowly deepening it further until he had no breath left and was forced to draw away. He kissed her lips, her cheeks, her eyes, feeling her lashes flutter against his face as he moved down, kissing her jaw and down her neck, where the pulse beat beneath her skin, his hands sliding to grip her shoulders. After a few moments, he moved back up and claimed her mouth once more, wanting to completely drown himself in everything that she was; her laughter, her voice, the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Jianyu's hands had moved back to cradling Yue's head.
It was only after he had completely lost track of time that he finally pulled away, dazed and slightly dizzy. A smile was on his face, however, and he rested his forehead against Yue's, sliding his arm around the back of her neck.
"Never feel greedy asking for more kisses, because I will always want to give them to you," he said, and kissed her again, this time briefly. "Mmm. Time to get up, love. We're done with your work for today."
Several hours had passed; it felt very warm in the room, the sun outside increasing the heat, though there were no windows. If Jianyu had to guess, it had turned to past midday, and he stood, holding out his hands to help Yue to her feet.
"Get dressed while I clean up," he said, and brushed his a few strands of hair away from Yue's face. "Then we will go meet my father."
Reluctantly he stepped away, gathering up his supplies and taking them to the large washbowl a few feet away.
"By the way," Jianyu said, without turning around. "I love you. And I think we should marry next week."
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:42 pm
Jianyu had actually joked in a way that she hadn't realized he was joking. The thought made Yue Lao deeply content. That was another reason she had fallen for Jianyu: he was quick-witted, which meant he was the only one she had met able to push her off-balance. It was usually all Yue doing the pushing and the needling, but it wasn't that way with Jianyu. He was more than a worthy opponent.
Jianyu had done a fantastic job of keeping her occupied. Because of the gravity of their conversation, she had hardly been paying attention to the pain of the needle. All in all, it could have gone a lot worse. She sincerely hoped that he would pull her into his lap often. She loved that, too. Basically, there was a myriad of gestures which she had never experienced before, and she was relishing every one of them.
It was true, Yue Lao had the utmost confidence in herself and her abilities. She wasn't scared of things, she didn't falter, she never gave up. She always moved forwards. That was what she did. But for a while, when she was younger, she had been full of doubt. That had scared her. She had never doubted herself for even an instant before that experience, and during her confusion over Jianyu and her own feelings, she had not known which was up or down. So in that way, Yue had managed both to be completely confident and somehow falter in her steps. It had to happen, in a way; she wasn't without weakness. It was just that she liked to believe she was.
She had largely returned to normal. Improved, even, by the time Jianyu had proposed to her, as evidenced by the clear and even mind she was able to keep while hanging out with him again. After he had been parted from her for a while, she was able to level out and find her footing. Thus she had experienced doubt, and triumphed over it. His eyes searched hers as he cupped her face, and she slid one free hand up to hold his hand in place, looking back into his uninjured eye. She hoped that he could see the depth of what she felt, and that she was not jealous or afraid like she had been. There would never be a reason to feel jealous. He loved her, now. No one else could take that from her.
All she needed was the one last assurance that he did not feel for Bataar what he felt for her; with that, her last lingering doubt was seared from her mind.
And her smile was so bright it could have mirrored the sun. Belatedly, she replied, "Ehuang was always comforting to me." As she had already expressed, it was Ehuang who helped her feel hopeful all those months of waiting. She settled into his lap comfortably and stroked the thumb of her free hand down his cheek, her eyes half-closed as she regarded him tenderly. Her body leaned inwards, and she suppressed another wince as she tried to get closer to him but remembered the wound made her unable. It was a regret that made her smile, even though it was tinged with sadness. "We'll make up for the lost time, right?" she affirmed, before he kissed her again. His kiss made her feel dizzy, and she tried to lean in again, her mouth aching for his, fingertips tracing his jaw, his neck, his collarbones. And then he was kissing down, down to her neck, down to where her pulse beat against his lips and she could feel the bridge between them. The connection that linked their lives into one.
With a tentative breath, shaking from the effort it took to control herself and keep from pressing into him, she slipped her tongue into their kiss again, for only a moment. Too soon, he pulled away; Yue was lightheaded, and wasn't sure she wanted to stand anytime soon.
"I think I'll just start stealing them," she replied, when he told her she didn't need to feel greedy. "And then all your kisses will be mine, always!" she said, wiggling her fingers as if she was imagining collecting a great treasure, laughing dramatically. She winked, and quieted, sighing when he told her it was time to get up. "I appreciate your hard work, Yu," she said. "Now this part of me was done by your hand, always," she said, gesturing along the lines he had traced in her skin.
She waited until it was likely he wasn't looking, and let the cloths drop, folding them up neatly. She set them next to the crumbled robe, grabbed her bindings, and then said: "Ah, Yu? I believe... I need bandages first, don't I?" In the kissing, she had forgotten to ask, and she was pretty sure she couldn't use her bindings, as they were ... well, she had been wearing those all morning. Not exactly hygenic for a new wound. She covered her chest with one forearm, which didn't really hide her breasts, but at least covered the specific places which were not supposed to be seen this early before marriage. Or at all before marriage, really, she supposed. It wasn't like "half-looks" didn't count. The thought amused her.
Yue felt, again, her breath stolen away by the shock of Jianyu's statement. She hoped they would marry soon, but... he really had meant it, hadn't he? There would be a lot to prepare in that time. She wondered if the wedding would end up being chaotic to reflect it, as she knew that Chichi and Yowai had many guests to invite, and Jianyu's parents likely did as well.
"I love you too, Yu. Next week, it is...!" she expressed her support, padding over to him to lean her head against him, since she couldn't hold him tight to her like she wanted to. "We should probably let our parents know... this is going to get very interesting," she said, laughing, now that she could move without worry.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:42 pm
"My mother would be the type to do that, yes," Jianyu replied, and there was a very clear note of affection and respect in his voice, along with the mild amusement. He was very fortunate to have the parents that he did; ones that were as supportive of their son as he was of them, ones who watched over him, cared for him, made him understand that he was capable of anything he wanted. Ehuang and Liwei were two of the kindest people Jianyu had ever known, and the fact that they had taken to Yue as if she were their own daughter, even before he had realized his feelings meant volumes to him.
Making up for lost time. Perhaps others would see that as an excuse, see it as a way for Jianyu and Yue to be as physically affectionate with each other as they wanted with no consequence, but to Jianyu it was a very real concept. Yue had spent a year alone - a year that he himself could have prevented if only he had not been ignorant. She had been in pain that past year; and there were only a few things Jianyu could do to remedy that pain, and kissing Yue as much as he could was one of them. Her lips felt soft and warm beneath his, their breaths mingling. He could feel her fingers against his cheek, sliding to his neck, then down to his collarbone as he made the same movements with his lips. When he found the pulse at the base of her neck, he lingered there, feeling the life flow throughout her before he allowed himself one more kiss. The last one Yue had hesitantly turned into something more, something that made Jianyu's entire body feel warm, his breath catching in his throat.
"Steal them as much as you like," Jianyu told her, his breathing quite uneven. "And yes, mine are always yours, just as yours are always mine. I will steal your kisses and your heart."
There were the muffled sounds of various patrons entering and leaving the common room, half audible through the closed door, and Jianyu washed the needles carefully in the bowl, making sure that everything was sterilized properly. Not cleaning immediately could result in very dangerous infections, and that was the last thing either Jianyu or his father wanted.
He kept his back to Yue, studiously focusing on his work and giving her the privacy she needed - at least until she spoke, which made him realize that she was right. "Yes," he told her, and ducked into one of the cabinets, retrieving a set. When he turned back around to face Yue, however, he nearly dropped them. She was not wearing her robe, and had one arm crossed over her chest to hide it from view. It did not, however, cover everything, and Jianyu's eye moved up to Yue's face, a hungry flickering into them briefly. He gave a small sigh, then stepped around behind her.
"Hold your arms up," he instructed, and when she had lifted them, he stayed behind her, and wound the cloth around her, over her chest and her entire torso. He passed the cloth from one hand to the other in front of her, focusing only on Yue's back and the satisfaction he felt from seeing her tattoo - the tattoo that he had done.
When he was finished, he let his hands rest against her hips gently, his chin on her shoulder. He left his weight away from her, however; her back would be painful to touch.
"Next week," Jianyu said, very matter-of-factly."I do not wish to wait any longer, and I have a feeling neither do you."
He kissed the back of her neck, the stepped around her, holding out his hand. "Let us go find my father."
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