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 Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:02 pm
This has always been on my mind, ever since I began high school. People, with all their hormones and s**t, can really make me feel bad that I am friends with them. But THEN, they act all chummy and friendly to me.
Take this one girl, whom I will name Mary. You see Mary and I were SUPER close, and then we drifted and fought because she was getting super obnoxious and hypocritical and I didn't want to deal with that. (And by the way, unless she is having her period every WEEK, I doubt it is that...)
So after trying to end things and not talk to her for several days upon weeks. She just comes up to me and is all friendly and chummy and kind like nothing ever happened. And I am like, "b***h what is wrong with you."
This has happened on so many occasions and it really has gotten out of hand with some of my other friends.
So how far, is too far before you should just let go and get rid of something?
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Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:09 pm
Just remember that a true friend will listen to their past mistakes and want to work through them. If they don't or they get defensive, that's a red flag right there. Also, it sounds to me like this is happening over and over, which is another warning sign. Some people will just string others along, unfortunately, so having boundaries is important. Real friends won't put drama over friends. The thing you may find out before too long is that real friends can be hard to come by, and for that I'm sorry. It can be tough, but you're right in not wanting to endure that kind of treatment.
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:38 am
Personally, I tend to keep my group of friends down to a few key people that I can really connect with and talk to and who I know I can trust. People who start drama intentionally... I don't have any patience for them. I'll talk to them and hang out with them, but I won't be super close friends with them.
Your friend sounds like her hormones are getting all jacked up. The problem with middle school/high school is that there are thousands of hormonally imbalanced teenagers shoved into something that can almost be equated to a corral, and people expect them not to turn into psychopaths. That's not how it works. Grant her some leniency, because truthfully she might not be always in control of her emotions, but there is a breaking point. Maybe explain to her how her behaviour is really putting a strain on your friendship, and ask her to re-examine the way she's been treating you.
The hormones might be exacerbating a pre-existing condition, but I don't know. In the mean time, you might want to make some new friends or focus on people in your social group you get along with better than this girl. Maybe putting some distance between the two of you might help calm her down.
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 7:39 pm
If a friend is being too annoying to bear or I just don't care to hang out, I usually just act civil when they're around, but then I don't take up any of their invitations or invite them to anything.
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:36 am
If you can't accept people the way they are, then you'll never have any lasting friends for the rest of your life. Not saying you should be friends with everybody other the sun--just saying that only YOU can decide who you consider your "friends."
The one thing you can do is to let people know what you expect out of your friends. Those who don't like it will leave you. Those who are fine with it will stay. Most "friends" are always looking for someone better to hang around with anyway--don't worry too much about it.
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 2:27 am
I was about to say this happens all the time but it seems you're already aware of that. It should be stretched only as far as you're willing to stretch it. You have to ask yourself whether you really care about the person enough to put up with their crap or if you really don't give a damn and would be better off without their drama. Accept that people are hypocrites and that the person you see today is not necessarily the person you will see tomorrow and things will be a lot easier for you.
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