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The Contest Archive!

MEET THE CONTESTANTS: WALLACE WELLS

Wallace P Wells

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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 2:33 pm

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MEET THE CONTESTANTS:

THE WALLACE EDITION

I think I'm a better spokesperson for myself than Jack is. He can't even attest to my kissing skills because I haven't made out with him...

...yet.

So, it's better if I do it for him. Besides, he deserves a little time off. Right?

Right.

"Hey! I'm a drunken homosexual!"

First, I guess I should tell you what you win.

1. My boxers.
2. A lap dance.
3. A date.

I guess I kind of want to go on a date. It's been a while, and I don't feel like going out and converting all the heterosexuals. Unless you're heterosexual and want to be converted, then I don't mind.

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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 2:34 pm

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Now, let me tell you why you should date me.

1. MAKE OUT KING

Yeah, I'm the make out king of the Nexus. I've made out with almost all of the men in it, and I even saved Todd Rice with my make out powers. (Speaking of which, Todd, if you're single, hit me up.)

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*insert make out noises here*

2. I'm a really good motivator. If you need me to be your cheerleader, I will.

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Scott is such a whiny b***h, but he's my b***h.

3. I speak French. That's the language of love.

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"Oui!"

4. My specialty is bacon. Even the Metavore thinks I make awesome bacon.

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"Check out my fierce shorty robe!"

5. I often am without pants.

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6. I party like a college girl, and I'm just as easy.

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Wallace P Wells

Offline

Wallace P Wells

Offline

Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 2:35 pm

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ANY OTHER QUESTIONS? HIT ME UP.

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You can also do that if you're one of the men below:

Johnny Bart
Wally West
Todd Rice
Virgil Hawkins
Nick "Hot Lips" Fury
Hartley Rathaway
Jack Horner
Thorki
Sexy Elven Guy
Benjamin Russell
Maybe Achilles
Not Chris Powell (You're married.)
etc etc...

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