Teenagers' love relationships

[NatesSafford]

We know well how much Post-Modernism has influenced the world, and even a lot of Christians, without knowing it, have been subdued to it, putting in them a hedonist mentality. Physical punishment has been "abolished" in a lot of countries in the world, resulting in an extreme increase of criminality, fornication, drugadiction, among other things. The transition between the beautiful romantic music of the past to the loud, strident and enslaving music has marked a great decline of morality. The transition between those young people of the past (including the 20th Century until about 1966) who were diligent and studious to a time where young people and teenagers think not but in themselves, being lazy, slaves of the music, the fashion, etc.

It is foolish for people to deny that society is able to mold us to its image. Those who do not think in that way, certainly have not studied the influence of Post-Modernism and its list of anti-values. The concept of engagement is one of those things that has been affected by Post-Modernism, including, as I have been saying, a lot of Christians.

Engagement is supposed to be the process previous to marriage of relatively short duration in which a couple is supposed to know each other better before arriving to marriage. However, engagement should only be used when two people are adults, serious, responsible, and productive members of society. Engagement is not a form of entertainment (as society is trying to instil in our minds). Engagement is not a form of "being with someone" because you "need to love" or you "need to feel loved."

I have talked about this matter with most of my friends, and most of them have disagreed with me, but hey... they are teenagers, and they have clearly shown that they are slaves to the idols of this world, clearly influenced by Post-Modernism in all they do, and unfortunately, most of my Christian friends also disagree with me. Nevertheless, I talked about this to my pastor and read few things about remarkable authors about this topic, and they have agreed with me... or should I say I agree with them?

I made a pact with God not to have any girlfriend for at least a year, since I just have 17 years old. I am physically atracted to a girl, but I will not break the pact I made with God. I know it might sound stupid or restrictive to most of you, but that's the decision I took, and I will not go back. My point with this whole thing is for you to discuss the following:

1- What's your view on love relationships of teenagers?
2- Have you put reason over emotions in issues as big as love? Why?
3- If you were in my situation, would you break the pact made with God? Why or why not? If yes, how would you tell God about your new decision?

EDIT[ed]: I apologize if any of you felt attacked by what I wrote. I did not meant it as an attack to anyone's perspective, since it was just my view on this matter: My personal opinion about it, and my personal decision about this, although I wanted you to expose your views regarding this, but it never was an attack on the perspective that other people may have about love relationships among teenagers. Also, I did not meant that all teenagers are not responsible or serious, for I know quite a number of them who possess these qualities, but there you go.  

[Silent Expressor]

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1- What's your view on love relationships of teenagers?

I agree with you on a lot of your points, I think that teenagers often throw themselves into relationships with people just because they want to feel loved. The problem is now days teenagers and adults alike say I love you because they feel obligated to because they are in a relationship, Which more times than not leads to heart break.

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2- Have you put reason over emotions in issues as big as love? Why?

Currently I believe I am in love with someone and I have told her how I feel, and she has been my best friend for seven years. Putting reason over such emotions is difficult but we have agreed to not date until both of us feel that we are ready (we are both 16). The reasoning behind this is honestly if there was one relationship that I would want to make work it is this one. So Im not sure if that would qualify as reason over emotion.

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3- If you were in my situation, would you break the pact made with God? Why or why not? If yes, how would you tell God about your new decision?

I would say no, If you made a pact with God then I would keep it. And if you are considering breaking your pact I would suggest you pray about it first and find out if that is what God wants you to do.  

[ioioouiouiouio]

First off, you lose.

Why? Because you yourself are the problem that you are attempting to fight against. Your inability to comprehend the notion of personal responsibility is, in itself, making your arguement hypocritical, and furthering of the destruction of the moral world.

oh, and for the 'they're just teenagers' remark, you've earned yourself an official 'screw you'.

[edit] I know this is going to be deleted. I just hope the opening poster can read it first.

[edit squared] no offense taken anymore. feel free to reply. I (probably) won't bite anymore.  

[vampy dave]

Well thank you for grouping me together with a bunch of hedonistic idiots. I feel so special.

Now as for the questions:

1- Teens in relationships can be very beneficial, as long as it isn't taken to far. It's the parent's job to sit down and educate their children on what is right and wrong in relationships. If a teen is exposed to dating, they tend to learn how to be committed a bit better than those who aren't. If you only date one person, how do you know that is the one for you? How do you know that's exactly what you're looking for, unless you get out and try other things. I'm only talking mentally, emotionally, and personality-wise here. Nothing physical. I'm all for RESPONSIBLE teens being in relationships.

2- Right now, I'm in a bit of a tangle with relationships. I believe I'm in love with two people, but I'm not really sure. I'm trying to reason my way through it, but it is a very difficult and touchy subject.

3- If the pact you made is to not have a phyiscal (hugging, kissing, etc.) relationship with the girl, why can't you have an emotional one? Not meaning lust, but love. If you really can't wait, just talk to the girl. I'm not really sure what to tell you. If you feel like you shouldn't, then there you go. If it violates your conscience then I would say to hold off. Sinning against ones conscience IS sinning against God.  

[Guacamole-kun]

[Knife]

We know well how much Post-Modernism has influenced the world, and even a lot of Christians, without knowing it, have been subdued to it, putting in them a hedonist mentality. Physical punishment has been "abolished" in a lot of countries in the world, resulting in an extreme increase of criminality, fornication, drugadiction, among other things. The transition between the beautiful romantic music of the past to the loud, strident and enslaving music has marked a great decline of morality. The transition between those young people of the past (including the 20th Century until about 1966) who were diligent and studious to a time where young people and teenagers think not but in themselves, being lazy, slaves of the music, the fashion, etc.

Well first of all: I can feel my head swelling... swelliiiiinng. XD;; You give us artists so much power here! But I really don't know if we have that much. I think it varies from person to person how much they are effected by art and media.

1- What's your view on love relationships of teenagers?
Go for it, but don't go overboard. You gain experience, so that you don't make relationship mistakes later on in life, and plus, someone you date when you're young really MIGHT be "the one".
2- Have you put reason over emotions in issues as big as love? Why? Weeeell.. sort of. I've considered weather or not it would be easy to live with someone for the rest of my life, and weather we'd be able to function in society. Ex: The person I am with now is very competent and good at technical stuff, whereas I am not. I "liked" someone else for a brief time, but to help convince myself not to think of him that way, I told myself that we were both idiots when it came to financial and technical issues, and that it would be hard to survive in society with him. But that was before I was sure that I was in love with my current boyfriend.
3- If you were in my situation, would you break the pact made with God? Why or why not? If yes, how would you tell God about your new decision? I don't really know. Like, at all. It would really depend on a lot of things.

PS addressing your poll: I am not a teenager, but my BF still is. We are 19 and 20. We became a couple when we were 18 and 19.  

[postage-paid]

Quote:

Physical punishment has been "abolished" in a lot of countries in the world, resulting in an extreme increase of criminality, fornication, drugadiction, among other things.

It's interesting to see that you're trying to promote physical punishment as appropriate. Doesn't that seem somewhat hypocritical? You're attempting to base all of societies woes on the fact that we don't beat our children as much as we used to. Don't try to draw parallels based on uninformed observations. There are too many variables.

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The transition between the beautiful romantic music of the past to the loud, strident and enslaving music has marked a great decline of morality. The transition between those young people of the past (including the 20th Century until about 1966) who were diligent and studious to a time where young people and teenagers think not but in themselves, being lazy, slaves of the music, the fashion, etc.

Apparently you haven't heard any of Bach's chamber music..... The only reason that music has a different impact than it used to is because of the increases musical technology has had in the last few hundred years. Different instruments are available now that never were before. Don't try to tell me that Beethoven wouldn't have picked up an electric guitar once or twice if he were alive today. Also the fact that music has a much wider audience now than it ever has before impacts the amount of power the artists seem to have.
Do not try to say that we are only now becoming slaves to society. Fashion? Have you not looked at the different trends throughout history? People have never been these romantic non-conformists. We as a whole have always done exactly the same as everyone else.

Quote:

It is foolish for people to deny that society is able to mold us to its image. Those who do not think in that way, certainly have not studied the influence of Post-Modernism and its list of anti-values. The concept of engagement is one of those things that has been affected by Post-Modernism, including, as I have been saying, a lot of Christians.

We aren't the first generation to have promiscuous sex and rebel against our elders. It's called growth. As Christians we are encouraged to go against the norms of society, and this has always been the case. Yes, many Christians are influenced by this, but like I've said before: this is not the first time in history. For example, the royal courts of England during the tutor era were fiercely religious, yet it was no secret that adultery was a regular occurrence.

Quote:

Engagement is supposed to be the process previous to marriage of relatively short duration in which a couple is supposed to know each other better before arriving to marriage.

I attempted to look up "engagement" in websters dictionary and was instead led to the word "betrothal" which says:
a mutual promise or contract for a future marriage

Quote:

Engagement is not a form of entertainment (as society is trying to instill in our minds).

Examples? last time I checked, this wasn't the case. The majority of people who get engaged ARE serious about each other.

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I have talked about this matter with most of my friends, and most of them have disagreed with me

What did they think it was? confused I always thought it was fairly clear.

Now the questions:

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1- What's your view on love relationships of teenagers?

By looking at your arguments, you imply that we should be referring to the past for answers. Well, culturally it used to be the norm to marry quite young. As the 17 year old girl I am, I would have been married by now and may already have a child. I myself have not been in love yet, but I just haven't met the person God wants me to fall for. However, I do believe that this can happen for some earlier than others. True, many teenagers have a warped concept of love, but for those who do understand it, it is beautiful.

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2- Have you put reason over emotions in issues as big as love? Why?

Not so much. Like I've said above, I've never been in love. If you refer to something such as the love of my family and friends, then the answer is yes. I've risked parts of my life to keep them happy/out of pain.

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3- If you were in my situation, would you break the pact made with God? Why or why not? If yes, how would you tell God about your new decision?

I would consider it yes, but only after much prayer. Did God ask you to make that pact? By that I mean, did you get the feeling that God wanted you to avoid dating, or was it a decision you made for yourself? Pray about it. If God wants your to be with this girl, you should go for it. Don't relinquish your vow for a maybe. If He thinks you should go for it, then by all means.  

[daviderentxun]

Okay... before it gets more heated than this, I'd like to point some things out. First: We should not make any kind of attack on [Knife]'s opinions, because that's what he stated:

[Knife]

I did not meant it as an attack to anyone's perspective, since it was just my view on this matter: My personal opinion about it, and my personal decision about this, although I wanted you to expose your views regarding this, but it never was an attack on the perspective that other people may have about love relationships among teenagers. Also, I did not meant that all teenagers are not responsible or serious, for I know quite a number of them who possess these qualities, but there you go.

Not only he stated that it was his opinion on the matter, but also that he did not mean that all teenagers are not responsible or serious... at least that's what he says. The Bible tells us to be quick to hear, but slow to talk... I think you should have payed attention to what God said before criticizing anything that the guy said. It's not that I agree completely to what the boy said anyways, but you should be wise in this aspect.

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angelgotspiked

Quote:

Physical punishment has been "abolished" in a lot of countries in the world, resulting in an extreme increase of criminality, fornication, drugadiction, among other things.

It's interesting to see that you're trying to promote physical punishment as appropriate. Doesn't that seem somewhat hypocritical? You're attempting to base all of societies woes on the fact that we don't beat our children as much as we used to. Don't try to draw parallels based on uninformed observations. There are too many variables.

How is promoting physical punishment hypocritical? Don't you know that by saying that you are calling God Himself hypocritical? Wasn't God who said that physical punishment was good? (See Proverbs 23:13-14). By the tone in which [Knife] speaks, I think that he's not categorically saying that the lack of physical punishment is the cause of the corruption in society, but rather, that it's an important factor on it. You deny it? Then go against God in Proverbs 22:15.

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angelgotspiked

Quote:

The transition between the beautiful romantic music of the past to the loud, strident and enslaving music has marked a great decline of morality. The transition between those young people of the past (including the 20th Century until about 1966) who were diligent and studious to a time where young people and teenagers think not but in themselves, being lazy, slaves of the music, the fashion, etc.

Apparently you haven't heard any of Bach's chamber music..... The only reason that music has a different impact than it used to is because of the increases musical technology has had in the last few hundred years. Different instruments are available now that never were before. Don't try to tell me that Beethoven wouldn't have picked up an electric guitar once or twice if he were alive today. Also the fact that music has a much wider audience now than it ever has before impacts the amount of power the artists seem to have.
Do not try to say that we are only now becoming slaves to society. Fashion? Have you not looked at the different trends throughout history? People have never been these romantic non-conformists. We as a whole have always done exactly the same as everyone else.

I'm absolutely sure that he's concious that it's not "only now that we are becoming slaves to society." However, it is a greatly visible mark in our days. And regarding fashion, I have only to tell you that we are called to be separated from this world (not aislated... don't twist the meaning), we are called to not conform to this world. Calling a Christian that does not want to conform to this world as a "romantic non-conformists" goes clearly against God's desire for His children. I just feel so impressed that you're trying to defend a corrupt society instead of taking the side of the Word of God. "People have never been these romantic non-conformists" ... Tell that to the serious Christians throughout History who didn't conform to this world.

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angelgotspiked

Quote:

It is foolish for people to deny that society is able to mold us to its image. Those who do not think in that way, certainly have not studied the influence of Post-Modernism and its list of anti-values. The concept of engagement is one of those things that has been affected by Post-Modernism, including, as I have been saying, a lot of Christians.

We aren't the first generation to have promiscuous sex and rebel against our elders. It's called growth. As Christians we are encouraged to go against the norms of society, and this has always been the case. Yes, many Christians are influenced by this, but like I've said before: this is not the first time in history. For example, the royal courts of England during the tutor era were fiercely religious, yet it was no secret that adultery was a regular occurrence.

Here again I think that [Knife] isn't saying that this generation is uniquely the first one to be so corrupted. I believe that his focus was that society has gone through a great change during the last decade. I use his words: Isn't society able to mold us? Yes. Else, it wouldn't be written in the Bible that "bad company corrupts good character" ? (1 Cor. 15:33, NIV).
Doesn't Post-Modernism has a lot of anti-values that includes the promotion of promiscuous sex and rebellion? Yes. I fail to see, however, how does that is called "growth."
Since his emphasis was not if this was the first time or not in which these things take place, then we should stand by those two things I've adressed on what he wrote.

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angelgotspiked

Quote:

Engagement is supposed to be the process previous to marriage of relatively short duration in which a couple is supposed to know each other better before arriving to marriage.

I attempted to look up "engagement" in websters dictionary and was instead led to the word "betrothal" which says:
a mutual promise or contract for a future marriage

I talked to him: He's not from the United States, not from United Kingdom, not from any English-speaking country... the thing is that he couldn't find a translation from his mother language into English that would fit into what he wanted to express. The fault is in language, if any fault at all.

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angelgotspiked

Quote:

Engagement is not a form of entertainment (as society is trying to instill in our minds).

Examples? last time I checked, this wasn't the case. The majority of people who get engaged ARE serious about each other.

What examples do you want? The TENS of Tv shows in which teenagers are presented having girlfriends just for the sake of it, for having someone with which spend some time? The lots of teenagers who follow this influence? Also: Did you know that teens are most known by unstability and unsteadiness? (not saying that this is always the case, before you start judging). 2 Timothy 2:22... in it, Paul tells Timothy to flee from juvenile passions. Why would he say "juvenile" instead of just leaving it as passions? Because of the changing nature of most yong people: Today you want something... tomorrow, another thing. Isn't that what happens with most teens?

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angelgotspiked

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I have talked about this matter with most of my friends, and most of them have disagreed with me

What did they think it was? confused I always thought it was fairly clear.

Interesting that his friends disagreed with him, while his pastors agreed. Should I address what happened to Roboam after paying attention to his friends, rather than to the old men? Yes. That's right: Israel is divided.

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angelgotspiked

Quote:

1- What's your view on love relationships of teenagers?

By looking at your arguments, you imply that we should be referring to the past for answers. Well, culturally it used to be the norm to marry quite young. As the 17 year old girl I am, I would have been married by now and may already have a child. I myself have not been in love yet, but I just haven't met the person God wants me to fall for. However, I do believe that this can happen for some earlier than others. True, many teenagers have a warped concept of love, but for those who do understand it, it is beautiful.

Actually, although what he wrote had certain persuasive arguments, it was more of an expository essay than anything else, and it went around that the world is able to influence us.... or at least, that's what I could get from it. I will not discuss this part, but rather answer his question: My view is that love relationships on teenagers are dangerous if not taken seriously. I don't condemn them, nor I blindly say that they're good. I will just say that one need a lot of wisdom on this matter, if one is considering to get a girlfriend or a boyfriend.

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angelgotspiked

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2- Have you put reason over emotions in issues as big as love? Why?

Not so much. Like I've said above, I've never been in love. If you refer to something such as the love of my family and friends, then the answer is yes. I've risked parts of my life to keep them happy/out of pain.

In most cases, yes... and it's really difficult. The same goes for sexual stuff. Logically, God made sex for within marriage. We all know that sex must feel good, but despite our desire of having it outside marriage, we should put reason over emotions. That's what goes in most big things, if not in all.

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angelgotspiked

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3- If you were in my situation, would you break the pact made with God? Why or why not? If yes, how would you tell God about your new decision?

I would consider it yes, but only after much prayer. Did God ask you to make that pact? By that I mean, did you get the feeling that God wanted you to avoid dating, or was it a decision you made for yourself? Pray about it. If God wants your to be with this girl, you should go for it. Don't relinquish your vow for a maybe. If He thinks you should go for it, then by all means.

Before addressing the question, I would just bring a note: Did you made the pact consciously, or was it because you felt something momentaneously about it? Just keep in mind that, although Christian life is hard, there are some un-needed sacrifices.
Now for the question: Yes, but as angelgotspiked said, after much prayer. I agree with her question... that was what I was trying to point out with mine. But anyways, just pray to God, seek counsil if wanted/possible, and do what God tells you to do.

Although some of this things might have sounded hard, I didn't make this cold-heartedly: I made it to correct certain things, not leaving behind the love of Christ our Lord. He wants us to grow in holiness and wisdom: Listening to advices are a good way to grow on those things. May God bless you all! 3nodding  

[ioioouiouiouio]

Disclaimer: he started it.

jgrullon88

Okay... before it gets more heated than this, I'd like to point some things out. First: We should not make any kind of attack on [Knife]'s opinions, because that's what he stated:

Knife insulted me. I feel totally justified in my (rather heated) reply.

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[Knife]

I did not meant it as an attack to anyone's perspective, since it was just my view on this matter: My personal opinion about it, and my personal decision about this, although I wanted you to expose your views regarding this, but it never was an attack on the perspective that other people may have about love relationships among teenagers. Also, I did not meant that all teenagers are not responsible or serious, for I know quite a number of them who possess these qualities, but there you go.

Not only he stated that it was his opinion on the matter, but also that he did not mean that all teenagers are not responsible or serious... at least that's what he says. The Bible tells us to be quick to hear, but slow to talk... I think you should have payed attention to what God said before criticizing anything that the guy said. It's not that I agree completely to what the boy said anyways, but you should be wise in this aspect.

Putting in a little 'I didn't mean everyone' does not mitigate what he said. Besides, he edited that in afterwords, so I didn't really get to see it.

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I'm absolutely sure that he's concious that it's not "only now that we are becoming slaves to society." However, it is a greatly visible mark in our days. And regarding fashion, I have only to tell you that we are called to be separated from this world (not aislated... don't twist the meaning), we are called to not conform to this world. Calling a Christian that does not want to conform to this world as a "romantic non-conformists" goes clearly against God's desire for His children. I just feel so impressed that you're trying to defend a corrupt society instead of taking the side of the Word of God. "People have never been these romantic non-conformists" ... Tell that to the serious Christians throughout History who didn't conform to this world.

Rebellion is only justified when the institution being rebelled against is, itself, inherently wrong. God tells you to stay true to Him, not to blindly go against the crowd.

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Since his emphasis was not if this was the first time or not in which these things take place, then we should stand by those two things I've adressed on what he wrote.

I would argue this. His emphasis was on when these things are happening. He is, basically, telling us that our generation is evil and that we must embrace (all) of our forefathers morals/practices in order to save ourselves from the fires of damnation. Believe me, he isn't the first to come up with this idea.

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What examples do you want? The TENS of Tv shows in which teenagers are presented having girlfriends just for the sake of it, for having someone with which spend some time?

Keyword here is 'TV', as in fiction, as in not real. While I agknowledge that our generation is far from pure, we are not the first to come up with the idea of having a fling just for the heck of it.

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The lots of teenagers who follow this influence? Also: Did you know that teens are most known by unstability and unsteadiness? (not saying that this is always the case, before you start judging). 2 Timothy 2:22... in it, Paul tells Timothy to flee from juvenile passions. Why would he say "juvenile" instead of just leaving it as passions? Because of the changing nature of most yong people: Today you want something... tomorrow, another thing. Isn't that what happens with most teens?

If you think that it is only teenagers that act like this, then you are in for a real shock when you grow up.

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Interesting that his friends disagreed with him, while his pastors agreed. Should I address what happened to Roboam after paying attention to his friends, rather than to the old men? Yes. That's right: Israel is divided.

I would direct you to Matthew 7:3-5 if you have been told that pastors are always correct. Remember, no man is perfect and that pastors were given the give of ministry, not necessarily discernment or something like that.

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Before addressing the question, I would just bring a note: Did you made the pact consciously, or was it because you felt something momentaneously about it? Just keep in mind that, although Christian life is hard, there are some un-needed sacrifices.

Remember Proverbs 9:2, though.

" It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way."

 

[Ricette]

1- What's your view on love relationships of teenagers? Most of them are just puppy love type things really. Well, the ones that I have seen. Anyone can love. Not all love relates to the stork (er, sex) you know. Those who have serious love, well, good for them.

2- Have you put reason over emotions in issues as big as love? Why? No comment, can't understand the wording of this question. I'm not totally bright.

3- If you were in my situation, would you break the pact made with God? Why or why not? If yes, how would you tell God about your new decision? I wouldn't have made such a pact int he first place. I am not going to go against my human nature but in the hypothetical sense, if I prayed on it and if God wanted me to make such a pact, I would hold it. But if he didn't want me to and I made it, I would break it caus eif God doesn't want me to do it, I will not do it.

Oh and I LOVE being called an idiot. neutral  

[sunshinehearttrob]

[Knife]

1- What's your view on love relationships of teenagers?
2- Have you put reason over emotions in issues as big as love? Why?
3- If you were in my situation, would you break the pact made with God? Why or why not? If yes, how would you tell God about your new decision?

]

1. i think love relationships are okay. just a way to explore into the adult world and find some sort of weird idea of love.

2. depends on what decision i have to make. if i have to, then yes.

3. no, i would not. a pact with God is to test your faith and the strength of it. if you still like her after a year then go for it. if not, then you never love her in the first place. just a long crush. she may not wait for you. but you never know.