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Make sure you're wet enough before inserting anything. Check that there are no sharp edges on your fingernails or his; short rounded fingernails are ideal. It's also a good idea to wash hands before and after. Have him start out slow, guide him, let him know what feels good, and let him know if anything hurts.

Many hymens tear pretty easily, especially in childhood or puberty when the tissue can be especially delicate. Other hymens just stretch and move out of the way to accommodate fingers, penises, tampons, or sex toys.

Many girls notice no pain or bleeding as their hymen stretches or tears, so many don't even realize that it's happening! Others may experience some pain or bleeding as the hymen stretches or tears, but it's usually minimal if she's relaxed, in the mood, and lubricated. There are extra thick, extra strong, and not very stretchy hymens out there too though. They're fairly rare, but they can create a lot of pain for the woman. They may even make insertion difficult or impossible until snipped by a doctor. Most woman say the snipping is pretty fast and not that painful though.

So every hymen and every women is a bit different. Your hymen could be a problem, but there is a good chance that it won't be. So it's something to be aware of, but it's not really something to worry too much about either.