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 Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:58 pm
Beautiful Angel
You bring me up
when I am down
Even though you
are never around
You allowed me to soar
across these open skies
Each phase you bring me
delays the day that I’ll die
Shortly I am back on the ground
hurting, waiting, and anticipating
Longing the day when you decide
to come back, to come back around
The day turns to night; night turns to day
Thoughts begin to appear and finally set in
I’m just a one man army against all the odds
evident to the fact that I’ll never be able to win
Soon you are here to rescue me from my painful death
and you bring with you nothing that’ll save me on this day
You grab me by the heart with your beautiful precious voice
whispering to me those dreadful words in one quick breath
I make out the words that you voice, telling me that I’ll be left here to die
The happiness quickly turns to misery; The joy turns into nothing but sorrow
This is done for the sake of your good, but you are oblivious to what happens
I’m soon relieved of all this despair after my world has come to a dreadful end
I wander as a being that is happy, but with a soul of sadness and a tear in its eye
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 7:01 pm
Friendship:
I stab you in the back
That's what friends do
I kill your hopes and dreams
Just because I want to
There's nothing you can do
Certainly nothing you can say
You gave your world to me
Now hell you must pay
You entrusted me with your soul
Your pride I stomped when I could
You were never strong when it came to betrayal
You went corrupt, I knew you would
I look upon you not in pity
But as a pathetic soul indeed
I feed off of your worthless life
Those simple cries of pain are all I need
You should live your life alone
Friends are rarely any good
You now know this first hand
Be happy I showed you what I could
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:18 pm
Tears are flooding down my face.
Every time I think of you I cry.
I hate you.
My heart wants to break.
My shoulders shake with silent sobs.
Nothing I can say will change you.
I feel terrible!
I'm chasing everyone who cares about me away.
I want to die, but I know I could never kill myself.
Just leave me alone!
Go away!
Let me be selfish, let me feel sorry for myself.
I can't tell you!
You'll hate me!
Shut up, shut up!
All these sympathetic voices, leave!
But don't. Keep caring so I can reject you.
Every time you come back to me I push you away just to test if you'll come back again.
I know I'm being selfish, but I just want to be loved.
I'm ordinary.
I'm just like every other depressed teenager.
What makes me so special?
Why should anyone care?
Alone is how I should be.
Alone is how I should go.
Because my pain isn't worth you.
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Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:54 pm
Blue Beyond Drifting in a monochrome sea I stare at the blue beyond, and hear an echo. Resonating within my heart is a nostalgic memory, Hidden among the chaos of today. My wings call for that blue beyond, but the earth has me shackled, I’m locked and the key has been tossed away. The world that gives me life restrains me. But what kind of life is this? I see the clouds hanging upon the boundless blue beyond, And wonder where my silver lining hides. Within these staring eyes of glass are deep reflections, Stirring arcane emotions like bubbles bursting below the surface. Just within my feeble reach is that blue beyond, My lost key shines before me, entwined with ribbons of hope, desire, serenity, promise. Embraced in my blue beyond, I dream of eternity. A life of color awaits me.
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Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:19 am
I will wait for you.
I still remember the words I told you like yesterday
I still remember the hand extended
But never reached
Five years have passed us since then
Gone onto different roads
Our paths have split
Those same words I uttered to another
My enemy, my friend, mine
She is now gone, a distance between us
She doesn't remember how you used me
Treated me like a dog, and like a dog
I obeyed
You're the next best thing to Sharpie
In her eyes I am a liar
But still an obedient dog
Standing there, waiting loyally
For both of you to come back
Even though I know I am alone
Do you still remember the words I uttered
Does she?
I am a thing of yesterday now.
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:05 pm
What? Seriously? What the hell were you thinking? Tore my fragile heart in half. I feel as though you've stabbed me. A gasp escapes my lips. Slowly I remember to blink and breathe. I can't believe you said that. My jaw just hangs there open. ******** you! Hate rushes through me. That's why I won't text back. Because you're a d**k. An incompetent a** that has no heart. What was going through your head? Were you trying to make me jealous? Well congratulations. You've succeed. But in doing that, You've lost something special. Something unique. Congratulations, you've lost me.
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:16 pm
I don't know why I feel this way.
I don't know why I cried.
I don't know why a part of me has died.
What do I know?
Do I know anything?
Is my whole life a lie?
I'm not sure I have friends.
I'm not sure what to do.
I'm not sure if anyone has a clue.
Do you know what it is like to feel like you have to be perfect?
To act the way everyone wants you to so you're not alone?
To know that you can feel no comfort, not even at home?
To go through every day wondering how it could possibly get worse?
To contemplate death and wonder how gentle and sweet it would be?
To fake a smile even though you feel like dirt?
I'm a b***h.
I'm self-centered.
No wonder everyone hates me.
I'm selfish.
I'm a loud-mouth.
I'm annoying.
I feel the need to prove myself.
I am a terrible person and that's why I don't have friends.
Can they even stand to be around me?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know anything anymore.
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Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:31 pm
So I just decided to post this because I thought it was pretty good.
~Lived and Loved
I have lived and loved and lost it all.
Thinking as I lean against this wall.
Times I wish I could replay,
Over and over, everyday.
I have lived and loved and forgotten too.
Why is it so hard to forget you?
I dwell here in this hole in my heart,
My unsettled feelings, tearing me apart.
I have lived and loved and I endure the hurt.
It's my fault. Why won't it blur?
Images flit through my head.
Memories of something that seems dead.
I have lived and loved and lost it all.
As I slide down this wall.
In my mind, these times replay.
Over and over, everyday.
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:19 pm
When the young fall
I was soft
fragile
innocent
You were immature
hurt
confused
angry
My pain was your guilt
your grief
your fault
Knowing nothing, you tried your best
but it didn't help
it was too late
I was broken
you tried to fix me
choosing the most painful method
I have to ask
Why?
I was young.
You should've known
And now I'm hurt
7 years later and I'm still bleeding
still shaking
still crying
Because of you.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 1:02 pm
Coming To Truth
You walk in the darkness of sin
and loving evils face
While you fail to notice
He is offering you his amazing grace
You’re destroying your life
and everything that you are
But God is always there
and he’s never too far
Wandering this forsaken world
you hear the knocking on the door
But sing brings you pleasure
so you want it even more
Hitting the very bottom
you wonder where your soul is going
Again, you ignore the love
and truth that Jesus is showing
Finally, you come to the point
where you can take no more
So you go to the knocking
and open up that door
You see a loving, gentle man
that wants you to start a fire
to this wicked sin in life
that your flesh always desires
Your flesh and soul is turned
to ash, rubble, and debris
Now out comes this new being
that’s changed and walks with He
The Spirit inside of you
brings it’s beautiful calling
You now feel the ending
of the eternal falling
King Jesus and faith
will never leave your heart
You love and appreciate
this amazing new start
You must walk with your soul
filled with faith and He
Because this is God’s wish
and the way it’s meant to be
You’re here to show that the path
should be walked with the Son
And everyone will realize this
once they turn to page one
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:44 pm
This is a poem to my mom I made..around two years ago. Don't laugh, please. sweatdrop
I smell the whiskey on your breath.
And you beg for me to put your temper to the test.
You slap me around, and call me names.
Mom, I'm sick of playing these games.
One day it's going to end up getting worse.
It hurts me. How you yell and curse.
Stop it, before it's too late.
Mom, this is not your fate.
You used to care.
You used to be there.
Now you've gone away.
Mom, please stop today.
Bruises and hits.
Temperamental fits.
All is causing me pain.
Mom, stop yelling. I'm not to blame.
You're drinking away what’s left of you.
It's hurting you, and you're hurting me, too.
I've cried. I've begged. What more can I do?
Mom, I've tried to help. And I've tried too still love you.
It's hard, when I'm only neglected.
When all I ever wanted was to be accepted.
I know I'm not perfect, but look at you now.
Mom, you've got to stop this somehow.
You've beaten me down once more.
My heart's broken, and I'm lying on the floor.
How much more of this can I take?
Mom, please. Give me a break.
You brought me into this life.
And you cause me all this strife.
But are you going to take me out of this world, too?
Mom, stop before that comes true.
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