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 Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:03 am
Race: Human
Stage: Witchling
Gender: Male
Biography:
Once there was a man and woman in Moonfall who liked each other very much. They had little wealth and little magic, and their families approved of each other, so they married and tried to live a life most proper. To that end, they had a son.
Kai grew up in a household focused around dinner parties and matching curtains. His parents tried their best to appear upper-class and successful no matter what. He himself was a prop trotted out when the neighbors came over for cocktails or when the boss stopped by to drop files off. His life was full of good impressions. His father was a man of his work, and would only speak when necessary; his mother was a steadfast housewife who made sure her son was always up to the neighborhood's code and vacuumed in her pearls. Kai was as respectful and dutiful as a child was supposed to be. They wanted him to be perfect; they, and therefore he, would accept nothing less.
He was good at performing roles but not at forming bonds. There was no one he was close to. Instead he concerned himself with places. The top of the clocktower, the stand of oaks in a nearby park, under the bleachers at school - anyplace he could escape the pressures of other people and felt like he could really be himself.
Kai swore to himself that he wouldn't be caught up in the same web of obligation and duties of his parents, bowing under the pressure of society. One day, he thought to himself, he'd rise above it. He'd earn the happiness and freedom he was entitled to, no matter what it took.
Ability Concetration/Theme: ...need some help here. XD Actually I suppose this really isn't relevant now as he'll be a witchling. Ideas: Occlusion, shadows, forgetfulness, fog, poison, the senses, negative emotions, eclipses, psychic force, paradoxes, illusions, desire, mirrors, curses.
Visual References: Brown hair, brown eyes, nondescript. He's boring to look at and unremarkable; it helps him blend in.
Likes: Insects, cute girls, model airships, those cheap toys at the one-dollar stores, ramen, dark chocolate, rainy days, the top of the clocktower, knowing secrets, anyone but you, anywhere but here
Dislikes: Crowds, stuck-up preps, rich brats, squeaky girls, dumb jocks, sweets, homework, social niceties, cats, being alone
Personality:
►Kai is a dutiful son, a model student, an effective study partner. Most of the time he's friendly and helpful to those he meets. While quick-witted, he's not precisely intelligent and academics don't come easy to him; he makes it up with study sessions that can go long into the night. He's usually reluctant to enter involved, heated discussions, but if the conversation hits on one of his hobbies (or if someone ropes him into a new appreciation) he can rattle on for hours or work on related projects with casual disregard for sleep and food. He'll ocasionally blurt out a tactless or downright rude thought, but on the whole he tries his best not to make waves and to get along with everyone. It's how he gets through life.
►It's also mostly fake. What Kai presents to the world are masks, simple rotes designed to fulfill expectations and play to stereotypes. His inner self is much more self-centered and harsh. The inside of his head has a sarcastic, bitter commentary running commentary that is full of snap judgments and seeing the worst in people. He has a tendency to cherry-pick the evidence to fit his pre-made conclusions. He also has a habit of putting himself before others and is careless of other people's perspectives. While his dedication and enthusiasm are not faked, they can be put to as many bad uses as good - and once he has an idea in his head, he doesn't let go.
►The most important to Kai is to be special. The thing is, he pretty sure he isn't. He sees others around him as not interested in Kai himself but Kai the study partner, Kai the student, Kai the son - roles in which he could, ultimately, be replaced. He is a tangle of paradoxes: to assert dominance or submit to his betters, to reach out for comfort or to draw away from danger. He is pulled in too many directions to do much more than keep himself still.
►When confronted with anything unsettling, from an aggressive individual to evidence challenging his world-view, Kai's first instinct is to turn his head away. He prefers flight over fight. He favors burying his head in the sand and pretending the offending event never happened. He is easily set on the defensive when pressed; he can be forced to be conciliatory, but in the most passive-aggressive, blame-denying way he can manage. But if reality can't be denied or ignored, he's never been all that good at keeping his cool. Be prepared for meltdowns and spite-fuled tongue-lashings, at the least.
►Kai is his own worst enemy. He wants to show his true self and break away from his parents, but instead he lies and pretends and covers himself up. He wants to find someone to trust, but he labels others from shallow readings, dismisses them as not worth his time, and is ultimately unwilling to make the first (most dangerous) move. He wants to defy expectations and set his own course, but he also wants to be perfect and admired and exceed expectations. In short, he's a mess.
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:06 am
Character Name: Kai Florentine
Player Name: Eternal Newbie
Race: Human
Aspirations: To advance as far as possible and obtain power both personal and public. To never be trapped in a state of vulnerability and weakness. To that end, he will try to become an Ars Lilium and make himself useful to the royal family. Otherwise he has no strong plans - he'll probably attempt to gravitate towards positions of authority in society.
Short Biography/background:
"Name?"
"Kai Florentine."
"Age?"
"Sixteen."
"Gender?"
Kai stared at the examination officer for Makai Royal Academy. The woman dressed in grey stared right back. The force of a thousand examinations conducted with a thousand smartass kids at a hundred different schools bore down on him. Even though the unused classroom was a cozy temperature, he shivered.
"Male," he mumbled. He stared at his shoes. They were awfully nice today. He'd made sure to polish them this morning.
The examiner bent over her sheet of paper again as her quill hovered on its own. A traditionalist, Kai noted. Her nametag read 'Harriet'. "Where were you born? Have you always lived in Moonfall?"
The same cramped house, preserved under plastic and with cleaning charms. Last year's curtains bought at second-hand stores, glass cups that look like crystal as long as you don't look too close. He'd lay outside on the (perfectly mowed) lawn and stare up at the sky, thinking of wide open spaces or mansions in silver and gold or sometimes nothing at all. "Yes."
The examiner pushed her glasses back up her nose. "Parents, name and occupation," she said.
She already knew, didn't she? She could just look it up, couldn't she? Which meant this was part of the test...or she was just lazy. Kai barely held back a sneer.
He absently wondered if she could hear the hidden sarcasm in his voice as he replied, "Father, James Florentine, Chokmah Interface developer." A faded man who worked in faded cubicles, who kissed his wife on the cheek and patted his son on the head. "Mother, Judith Florentine, homemaker." A woman who covered up worn edges with the newest paisley print and closed loud mouths with properly-prepared cookies.
A family with no titles, no ancestors, no well-known names - generation after generation of weak-magiced souls. If he was accepted, Kai would be the first in his family to go to the Academy.
"Any brothers or sisters?" The examiner asked. Kai shook his head.
She leaned back and finally said, "the test can take hours for a student to complete. If you need to eat, drink, or otherwise take a break, now's your chance." She rubbed at her face. He wondered how many exams she'd overseen today.
"No? Then the test will begin." She waved her hand and a set of items shimmered into place onto her desk. They were common items - an unlit candle, a mirror, a potted flower. The examiner glanced at her paper, then the items, then nodded to herself before looking Kai in the eye. "Accepting any form of aid will count as plagarism and will result in nullification of this test. This is intended to test your magic skill, and yours alone. You can complete the tasks in any order you wish. Your score is based on your form and technique, not how quickly you can progress through the tasks. Finishing faster won't necessarily give you a higher score. Do you understand?"
He nodded his head hard. His hands gripped his sleeves; he could barely contain his impatience. He'd been practicing for this for months, for his entire life. He could do this.
The woman sighed and rubbed her face. "Then begin when you feel ready."
The candle sat in a small bronze candleholder. Kai closed his eyes (focus your mind)
inhale
then opened them, stretched out his right arm and
exhale.
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:07 am
Reserved for just in case.
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:10 am
And...open for posting!
SO what do y'all think? Weak points? Places where it should be rewritten?
The biography and magical talents section are both pretty light in particular, so what do you want to see added?
Banners (c) HyperCandy Loli!
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:11 am
Hmm the only thing I have to poke at really is his last flaw, if he feels beneath a lot of people, (inferiority complex?) then how would that tie in to wanting to be someones best friend to get what he wants?
Such as, would he be nervous? Would he hesitate? Is he a good enough actor to pull it off and then be like 'thank god that's over I made an achievement.' Usually, those who feel like people are always judging what they're, when they manage to hold someones interest they feel a little better about themselves and continuously try to hold it.
He doesn't seem to care about what others lives are like or what they think though, so maybe he could be his own worse enemy basically? Like, if something goes wrong, he is going to blame someone else because he subconciously knows that it's his own problem but is reluctant to change or admit to that fault. Which would steer a lot of people away.
Does he mind being alone? Would he secretly want to chase people he hurts to make it up to them but wont, or would he really not give a rats a**; how much listening would it take until he just has to put things bluntly? Try to write up under the different virtures and flaws, how they tie together a little more.
Overall, I love what you have come up with, he sounds like an interesting character to rp with; I would totally want to rp with you when you manage to get him. ^-^ <3 I wish you luck! & as promised, send me a theme/colour set and I shall make you some pretty banners. *o*
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 1:44 pm
Thanks for the critique! :3 To answer some of your questions, I think he's good at fitting people into boxes like "fellow student" or "teacher" or "jock" and adjusting his outward actions accordingly, to be a good "student" or whatnot. In this way he can avoid negative attention by playing up to stereotypes. But he's not good with people who are interested in HIM, instead of Kai the Student or Kai the Project Member. If he realized that was what someone was about, he'd probably get nervous and try to deflect at first (WHY are they interested in him?) and waver ambivalently over how open he is (maybe it's because they like him? but that's not possible, is it? he's not that interesting, right?). But it makes sense that he would like the attention!
He is definitely the sort of person who digs his own grave! It's less that he absolutely has to shut down someone (although he might if really annoyed) and more that he gives...weird responses. ("That's sad that your puppy ran away! You might as well get a new one, he's probably dead now; there was a wolfhound in the store a few days ago that was way cuter, why not get her?") He's totally a person who would pretend something didn't happen out of guilt for making the other person feel bad. If pressed, he's good at making apologies that aren't actually apologies, which get stronger and more vehement the more he feels the other person is being aggressive. It's not actually his fault, you know! He's just keeping it real! It's you who get so huffy at the truth!
I'll work at the personality section and hopefully make it less messy at the same time. ^_^;; I hope he'd be fun to play with. And thanks again for the banner offer 83 I guess I'll PM you!
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:27 pm
xD Oh no~ putting people into boxes. Awesome. So, he wouldn't know how to properly utilize a friend even if he had one.
:3 I apologize in advance if any of this is just reiterating what has already been pointed out. Also for the stream of consciousness that my crits tend to turn into xD;;;
xD Woah~ This contest application is throwing me off. It would be nice to have everything... like both of his biographies... consolidated into one place, but that's just my mind trying to auto-organize things after spending so-many-hours a week in a library. x.x
*ahem*
Anywho. I like his background story~ :3 It's nice and effective, while not being absurdly dramatic. You give a very good sense of his life growing up and his relationship with his parents. Of course, things can always be expanded upon, so, what were his mother and father like, more specifically? Their house wasn't "designed to be lived in as much as displayed," so was he subject to behaving during top-notch parties hosted by parents that were trying to appear better off than they really were? Or was it a silent display, well-kept but never touched, lest people get too close to the faux glasses? How did he feel about either lifestyle, the hoardes of false friends or lack of company? Either way, his parents clearly didn't understand him, so what did he do with himself? Did he have anyone to talk to? Neighborhood frenemy? Eccentric uncle? Imaginary friends? Just himself? o-O
For his concentration... something with deception or illusion might be neat/befitting... which would tie into some of the ideas you have listed. :3 It would certainly be something he would know a lot about, if subconsciously.
He likes... anyone but you, unless you're a cute girl with dark chocolate and a model airship! 8D
/shot/
There is a disparity between his aversion to people and his hatred of being alone. Of course, that could easily go back to the whole... him being his own worst enemy/putting people in boxes situation. If he's not willing to give people a chance, obviously, he's not about to make any friends. Or does he make up for it somehow? Maybe he has a pet not-cat or something to distill some of the loneliness?
I like your personality traits... his past seems to really have affected how he is, which is good.
When/why was he bullied? Also, his instinct for how to react to people is an interesting pair with his inability to empathize... I think it's intriguing, really. A lot of sociopaths are this way. xD Why is it, though, that he can fake empathy without being able to actually feel it?
Generally, I like him a lot 8D and want to know more about him rightthisinstant~
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:29 pm
HAHAHA WOW this is so late please forgive me orz (shamed forever)
Anyway, ahem:
Stream of consciousness is fine! Every bit of data helps! :3
Rofl, the first bio is supposed to be a synopsis of his background, while the contest was more of a story...I'll work on making the first one more fleshed out so that y'all don't have to read my fiction XD
I also worked on the personality section (I wasn't TOTALLY goofing off, see!) and that'll hopefully help make things clearer.
Illusion is a good idea! I'll put it up~
Now for blathering about Kai:
I imagine his parents being the social-climbing sort who want to do everything "properly", and wouldn't be on that good terms with the neighbors, but I imagine more of the former than the latter concerning the display (they would totally try to throw fancy cocktail parties). A lot of the house decorations would mimic those display pics in magazines. Kai grinned and bore it for a round of introductions and then retreated to his room or left the house, leaving the adults to their posing. He hated the falseness and pandering to social norms - but he also internalized it. It's hard to shake your home life.
...my first instinct is to say he didn't have anyone close enough to talk with and understand (although maybe some "school friends"), but that's just too sad ;_; I don't know if I can go through with it.
His bullying was a school thing - nothing overtly serious, just picking on (and maybe one or two roughings-up). He's someone who avoids making waves so he wouldn't be targeted over an obvious omega-kid, but he'd make a good backup target as he doesn't have a strong posse of his own. If that makes sense.
My intention is that Kai gets by through playing up to stereotypes and acting out pre-made roles. He's less faking empathy and more acting like "how this sort of person should act", as what one should do has been taught to him since an early age...hmm. I guess he is sort of sociopathic sweatdrop
Thanks for taking the time to critique, and sorry again for the lateness XD
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 3:33 pm
His background is pretty straightfoward; overzealous parents and a son who refuses to adhere to that standard of living, which is pretty clear and simple.
He's a dutiful son, so he does what's asked, even though he disagrees with how they choose to live their life? I'm assuming this is one of those facades he puts on in order to someday eventually surpass them?
His personality is...very interesting. I rather like how he's one way on the outside and another way on the inside; a more negative way. You say that once he has an idea, he doesn't let it go. So what happens when that idea proves to be impossible, or the outcome isn't what he expected it to be? Does he get angry? Frustrated? Sad? Does he lash out at people, or seclude himself away and hide his emotions in order to keep up that fake appearance? What happens when someone discovers his facades? What happens when people get under his barriers unexpectedly?
You have a really great start; more detail would be lovely.
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 4:06 pm
Thanks for the critique, for starters! :3 Yes to both the son-as-facades and the surpassing. He doesn't appreciate...well, being used as a prop, and doesn't have a very close connection with them. They're sort of formal with each other.
Hmm, a good question! It would take him a lot to acknowledge something as downright impossible (denial is a wonderful thing), but he'd be the sort to go "******** THIS" and break all of the toys once the evidence becomes overwhelming. ...that's be "frustration" I guess XD
Kai's not that great at keeping up appearances under pressure, and if someone got past them...hmm. He'd be flustered for sure! He'd probably try to extricate himself as quickly as possible and pretend it didn't happen. It's his go-to solution for everything! If pressed, it'd depend on how the other person acted, obviously - more accepting people would be first viewed with suspicion, then eventually omg you're not mad let's be friends now!! (this would probably result in being treated to some of the bitchfest gossipy running commentary in his head), while more aggressive or aghast people...he'd get unpleasantly nasty with them. He can be quite defensive the more he's pressed.
I'll be sure to add more! It's good to hear positive reviews on this XD
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 12:41 pm
Added to biography, incorporated some of the comments into personality. Added a few things to power ideas.
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