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I wrote this on 4chan a while back and found it saved to my computer. Figured you guys would get a kick ot of it.




Old Testament:
God creates the universe and he sees it and its serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her "Apple or GTFO" (Cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former than her ******** Adam gets bs from Eve for being trollbait. Than alot of serious wincest occurs and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really).

Than later god gets uber pissed at Pharaoh Hitler Pwning the Jews, so he gives moses some cheatcodes to the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis. God lol'd.

Some less important s**t happened, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry for god to Fap to.

New Testament:
God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load.Nine months later jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus more cheatcodes than he gave Moses, Plus the rcon password for life and some CP.

Later Jesus became hardcore ska punk ad trolled the old Jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a big cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had godmode on though, so he waited three days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server and laughed at the jews.

After that three more guys tell the same story, than this f*****t Paul wrote an assload of s**t about sex being evil and a bunc of other s**t that Jesus never said but everyone listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.

The End.

Wasn't this a screen cap. If I felt like It I could browse chan archive and find it... maybe