|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 1:36 am
I and my girlfriend of more than three years have recently started taking kickboxing classes and we've met this girl N. At some point when the three of us were sitting in a hot tub together I had the idea to organize a threesome. I've talked it over with my girlfriend (haven't even mentioned it to N yet), and I'm not sure where she stands on it. I think it would be a fun little bit of experimentation, she doesn't know if she's ready for it yet.
My question is, what would the best way to approach this be? I'd like to wait until my girlfriend is comfortable, but knowing her that could be never. Is there a way I could ease her into the idea, so that she can gauge how she'd react without jumping in feet first? Also, how best to approach N?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 8:26 am
Kissing, nude hot tubbing, watching porn together, watching each other masturbate, petting with clothes on, or even just sitting down and talking about the boundaries and safety precautions can all be good ways to ease into it. It really depends on what everyone is comfortable with and exactly what part of it your girlfriend is nervous about. For example, if she's nervous about the health risks, talking about proper condom and dental dam usage and having everyone get tested beforehand might make her feel better. If she's worried about someone else seeing her body, the nude hot tubbing might be the best way to ease into it. So try to find out exactly what part of it is making her hesitant and then go from there.
Do not force her though. Some people are just not comfortable with the idea of a threesome no matter how much talking and easing into it there may be. And those kinds of limits should be respected. No one should ever be forced or bullied into doing something sexual that they do not want to do. So talk about it, suggest different ways to ease into it, and see what she says. But if she really doesn't want to do it, do not force her, do not bully her, and do not beg her.
As for how to approach N, well, I'm usually pretty direct about that kind of stuff, so I would probably pretty much come right out and ask if a threesome is something she'd be interested in discussing (I definitely recommend discussing the boundaries, rules, limits, safe words, safety precautions, etc. beforehand). Your girlfriend could do the asking if she's comfortable with it and if you think N might be more comfortable talking to her about it first.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:48 pm
My, aren't you on top of things Lorien.
It's kind of complicated. My girlfriend's biggest thing is trust and body image, plus the fact that she's very vanilla. This is something we've discussed before; she's open to the idea of a threesome, though I think she'd greatly prefer an MMF to an FFM, and she'd definitely need to trust the person beforehand. I'm thinking we can wait for a few months on this though, so there's that.
As for your suggestions, I'll bring them up. She doesn't ever watch porn and the only hot tubs we have access to are through apartment complexes, but I'm sure with a bit of creativity we can make something happen (Maybe we can all watch Wild Things together? ^____^). Thank you for your suggestions, I'd love to hear more from anyone else, and I'll let you guys know how it all goes down.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 10:44 pm
I, personally, cannot have another person in my sex life with my husband. I see sex as something I should enjoy only with my husband as a form of pleasure and a form of love between us and only us. He says I should remove the attachment part of it and just do it, well, I can't. So, threesome isn't an option for us.
However, if I WERE like that, I'd wager that I'd be similar to your girlfriend. Trust and body image. There is no way I'd be able to just pick up some random person on the street and they would have to be appealing to me. On the flip side, I could in no way be too close to a person either. I have a lesbian friend who has mentioned interest in sleeping with me, could I? No, I couldn't. Not only because of the above mentioned but she's waaaay too close of a friend.
I agree with Lorien though. You should definitely talk about it and see how you all feel about it. 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
