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 Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:38 am
You just don't tell stuff like that to your boyfriend. And you should be glad he gets jelous, that means he worries and cares.
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:29 pm
Artto You just don't tell stuff like that to your boyfriend. And you should be glad he gets jelous, that means he worries and cares. Ok ya I like that he gets jealous and that it's a way to show he cares, but he overdoes it sometimes, I told him because it would have bothered me until he noticed something was bothering me. The reason he broke with up with me the first time we were going out was because he felt I was keeping things from him, so I really don't plan on going down that road again all because of a dream. So I found it in our(mine and his) best interest to tell him.
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 7:22 am
it's not a matter of fair; it's a matter of emotion.
clearly, th thought was on your mind. he's hurt by that. he isn't handling it the best way, I give it that. jealousy is never good.
you either do or do not actually want anything to happen. but you cannot help who you have feelings for, who you ever had feelings for, or (arguably) what your dreams are.
still, the ony true way to handle this appropriately is to remain calm, and work it out with him. unfortunately, this will also require him to be willing to calm down and rationally work it out with you.
welcome to the world of adults, and children with adu;t problems, and adults with childish levels of maturity, and all of the other like onesense. sweatdrop it's a wild ride; wear a helmet.
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:55 am
I've had dreams of kissing one of my friends, I know that he has a HUGE crush on me (and by huge he's told me that he loves me *shudder*).
Well he's like my best friend (because I have no female friends for some reason... Online or IRL... T^T). well I told my Boy friend he was fine with it.... be cause he's seen how icky my friend is and he knows that I don't like him...
I think that we have such dreams because the people around us are giving us subliminal messages er whatever that say they still or that they do like us. while dreaming our brain goes through the possibility of having them as our mate...
and plus sex dreams are just f-ing weird, I've had a sex dream that I was having sex with a werewolf Not the team Jacob crap... i mean nasy fanges, furry, claws and stuff... I was totally freaked out...
I say that you need to step up to your boy friend and say.
"I don't like him... Wanna know why? because I'm with you!"
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 7:43 pm
smile I agree, and if anything like that ever happens again, I'll think things through better.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:24 am
to me it sounds like ur bf is feeling insecure about ur relationship with him because u had a about being with another guy. its not ur fault u had this dream and i think its ok for him to be a bit upset but to be angry and accusing u is wrong. i would just tell him that ur over this other guy and that u are in a relationship with him not the other guy
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:16 pm
Oh man...... that's a pretty insane subject, I think that was a bit spiteful on your behalf. You could have kept it to yourself... I've had silly dreams LIKE THAT with no sex involved where I told my boyfriend and he thought it was funny, but you did that out of revenge, man TO MAKE HIM FEEL GUILTY.. now if you were doing it to be open to have a no holds bars thing to to honest I'd respect that more.. I don't think one should tell sex dreams about other people out of revenge. but honesty if anything. I had a dream where I woke up with all the guys from DETHKLOK in my bed all hugging each other.. yeah that was funny my boyfriend died laughing at that one.. My boyfriend has bad dreams all the time that he tells me about like last night he had one where I was mad and I broke up with him and I told him to leave.. which is very unrealistic.. But yeah if you're going to tell him only those dreams you should do that all the time to be honest or not at all in my opinion because that's just in bad taste no offense.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:49 pm
lady_grendle Oh man...... that's a pretty insane subject, I think that was a bit spiteful on your behalf. You could have kept it to yourself... I've had silly dreams LIKE THAT with no sex involved where I told my boyfriend and he thought it was funny, but you did that out of revenge, man TO MAKE HIM FEEL GUILTY.. now if you were doing it to be open to have a no holds bars thing to to honest I'd respect that more.. I don't think one should tell sex dreams about other people out of revenge. but honesty if anything. I had a dream where I woke up with all the guys from DETHKLOK in my bed all hugging each other.. yeah that was funny my boyfriend died laughing at that one.. My boyfriend has bad dreams all the time that he tells me about like last night he had one where I was mad and I broke up with him and I told him to leave.. which is very unrealistic.. But yeah if you're going to tell him only those dreams you should do that all the time to be honest or not at all in my opinion because that's just in bad taste no offense. umm, I never said in anyway, shape or form that I told him about it to make him feel guilty, if I really wanted to I have plenty to hold above his head and not dreams, but I'm not that kind of person. He honestly has never done anything to hurt me on purpose and the same on my part.
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:40 pm
I see no problem with it. You were at least honest to him and at least you told him. I give you credit on that.
Next time he accuses you, ask him if he's ever done it. Chances are pretty high that he has at least once or twice in his life.
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:50 am
gemo_2007 Ok so I had a dream where I had sex with some1 I used to like, I told my bf because it made me feel guilty, he is acussing me of still liking that person, and thinking about them, jw how many people think that is fair, or just give your opinions.  X
It's not really a question of what's "fair" or "unfair"... It's purely a matter of emotional responses in a highly emotional situation [teenagers dating = highly emotional situation].
Here's how I see it...
You had - for absolutely no logical or sensible reason - a very disturbing & unsettling dream that involved you having "sexual relations" with somebody whom you never would in real life. Because you're so loyal & close to your boyfriend, you told him about this dream because you felt as though it was the right thing to do & because sharing this dream with your boyfriend would help you feel better & less guilty.
All of this is a clear sign that you're deeply devoted to & truly care about your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend's response to the situation, however, shows that he's very deeply devoted to you as well, & that he really truly cares about you a ton. His response to the situation is just more tricky to decipher (when I was your age, I would have seen the whole situation the exact same way you see it).
The reason your boyfriend's being so difficult towards you for having that dream & why he's accusing you of having feelings for that other guy is because he's terrified that your dream was a representation of your real, true feelings & that you're going to go leave him for that other guy. He [your boyfriend] cares so much about you that it really, truly hurts him to know that you'd think about being intimate with another guy, even though you were just dreaming & he knows that you couldn't consciously control your thoughts at all.
So... If your boyfriend loves you so much & all that s**t, then why is he being such an unsympathetic a** towards you regarding the whole situation? Because guys very often end up showing their love & devotion in ways that aren't very loving at all & that almost always loosely revolve around expressions of "anger".
In relationships, guys are tricky & enigmatic lots of the time. Girls are just as tricky & enigmatic in relationships... Very likely even more than guys are. Relationships are crazy & difficult & stressful & confusing & sort of have their own weird dialect & "code of understanding" that you can only learn through experience (experience that's almost always negative & hurtful).
In order to have a healthy, happy, fulfilling, long lasting relationship with somebody, you have to learn to really pick & choose your battles wisely. You have to learn to be -- & agree to be -- very accepting & understanding, & willing to give your boyfriend [or girlfriend] the benefit of the doubt, & overlook situations in which they could have behaved better & just let some things go. This definitely sounds to me like one of those situations that you just have to let go.
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