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 Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 5:17 pm
✘✘✘FILLERFILLERFILLER● ● ● 「Intro 」 Looool +++++++++++++++++++ FILELRELRLELRLELRLEFILLERFILLERFILLERFILLERFILLERFILL"W i s h, wish ..wish hard..cause this is the thing"
Welcome!
● Quest is Active // Closed
● Critiques Open//Closed
【❝ ..D R E A M S ..are made out of..? . . . ★
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 5:32 pm
✘✘✘FILLERFILLERFILLER● ● ● 「Boom 」 Looool +++++++++++++++++++ Race: Majin (known- to himself) Position:
Gender: MaleAge: 17Height: 5'11ftBody type: Swimmers build, tanned skin.Eye color: Narrow and slightly stern looking, cobalt blue colored eyes that seem to alternate between being filled with curiosity and a slight derangement. Has long full lashes for a male.Hair: His hair is long, and black. (ref below for style) Hometown: Moonfall Sexual Orientation: Bisexual
Visual References:
His hair style Has these piercing on one ear but all the rings are loops and silver. Tea: ✤ Leech Nothing more than a creepy, stretchy, slimy leech. Ew. ✤ Ram Horn Stubborn and hard-headed as a Ram! ✤ Moonstone Runes A handful of small moonstones with ancient runes carved into them. Someone must have dropped them. ✤ Owl's Eye Even the wise, revered owl can misplace his eyeball. ✤ Black Opal It seems dark and dangerous, as if it might suck you inside its blackness. ✤ Ink Vial It seems like something a scholar would have in their room at all times. Ability Concetration/Theme:
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 7:10 pm
✘✘✘FILLERFILLERFILLER● ● ● 「Flash.. 」 Looool +++++++++++++++++++ Personality:Ambitious: He has a strong desire to succeed, if you try to get in his way he will stomp you even if he has to be under-handed about it. One to take his studies and work seriously, as he hates to fail, tending to push hard in what he does to be the best he can. Having to work hard because though he is smart like most people he has to actually put in the work to remember and build on his knowledge it doesn't just come naturally to him. Which is why he takes what he does so seriously and becomes a bit competitive at times, one to get a bit snippy when people flaunt their intellect like show offs. Since he considers it not fair for those like him that have to put in such work to be beat by those that can simply look over a page and pass with flying colors on an exam. To most people because of this trait he seems to be very reliable, given how hard he strives to finish things and finish them well. Though on the flip side he can be taken for a workaholic at times or even a bit of a bookworm since if he has an exam he will turn down plans with 'friends' till he feels confident enough to pass.Jovial: He tends to come off as a cheerful and friendly person despite the darkness he harbors. Even though he hates them with a passion, he will still force himself to be friendly towards reapers, or at least respectful until he is out of ear shot. It's a bit of a trick trait, he appears to be honestly friendly. However like you mentioned above since he is a very under-handed and deceitful person this is a more forced friendliness to help him keep social connections, cause without them he'd have no mana to feed off. Since he has put this façade on most of his life it would take a lot for him to just out right start tearing someone a new one, since he'd not want to jeopardize all his hard work. But yes it is possible to make him lose his cool at people in which he'd more than likely try to apologize later to that person. Over-thinker: One to run out every possible way to do something before taking action, which sometimes puts him in a bad place. Because of this he often tries not to make spur of the moment decisions which can get rather annoying for the people is he around. But on the bright side, he will always find the bright side and the not so bright...and whatever is in between. Can at times get a bit defensive at others words because of this, meaning he might take what they say roll it about in his head a few times and come up with a meaning they never intended. This can cause him to be seen as indecisive, again causing people to be annoyed with him for taking so long to run the options. Their annoyance really doesn't affect him overall but he might pretend to be wounded by it or he might even become a tad snippy with them but mostly he will ignore it or if he is pressed to hard he might choose the option that appeals the most to him without running his other options just to hush them up. Deceitful: In his effort to not go horrible crazy and steal the hearts of others he has become slightly deceitful, mostly to make sure he has plenty of bonds with other witchlings so he can get their mana. Another reason for his misleading behaviors is well for protection after all can't go making enemies with the wrong people especially if they are stronger than you. He'd rather lure them into a false friendship and then take them on if need be after he surpasses their power or gets them at a point to his advantage. Also its fun for him to lie to people, plus in lying he has gained a lot of his knowledge about various things after all once you get someones trust they tend to open up like a book, pages spread out for your enjoyment..Jealous: Secretly of course when it comes to the jealousy he has towards humans, for well..being real humans. Mostly this goes with him being jealous of more powerful witches in which he tends to developed a mental grudge against those people, in turn he tries to become better than them. In a relationship he is not one to be kind with people flirting with what is his, or vice verse so he tires to avoid getting emotionally involved with flirts. Though he is jealous kind, he is not the type to go into hiding because of it, as he tends to have a large group of acquaintances for mana absorbing purposes, information or to just use them. Liking to be sociable after all that's how you find out things in his opinion the more you talk the more things get around. He is able to develop close friends, however those would most likely be friendships born on lies and in turn he'd be very jealous of those that he did get close to not wanting a lot of people near them if he holds them special enough to get close to.
Lonely: ...Being given everything as a child but the much needed attention he is honestly a very lonely boy. Perhaps this is why he feels so strongly that people need to understand Majins? Or more over...understand him?Likes: ●Proof
●Reading
●A good magic fight
●SweetsDislikes:
●Reaper's
●Unfair accusations
●Being seen as a monster
●Sour foods
Biography:
So were birthed those we call the Majin, corporeal spirits birthed into our own forms, who long to consume our witch's heart. Samuel had read over those words many times in the books that he had obtained on the Majin, to try to understand more. Though with little factual information and the flimsy at best stories he got from the older witches as to what the Majin were, the boy was left at a brick wall, thirsting for more.
What he knew was all there was to offer or so he thought. Which was that Majin were creatures that looked human and ate Witch hearts. Craved their magic for their own and were born somehow, but how? He also knew that the humans or most of them tended to despise Majin for what they were. Yes..they crave to devour witch magic/hearts, how they craved it but they were not mad...well mostly, though aren't we all just a little mad? Humans just didn't understand. They treated the majin like monsters. And that very reason is what spawned the boys dislike for human kind, because they seem in his mind, not so sympathetic to the Majin and Witch-Eaters.
It was unfair to judge them in his mind like that to label them as such a thing without proof. Considering there is so much UNKNOWN about them and in his mind this was like blaming someone with a mental handicap for their actions, Majin feel the constant need to eat hearts its true. But it's not their fault if this was born into them! So in his mind it was like a disease and he feels it should treat it as such not a curse or something to make them be seen as monsters. Monster, he was not a monster...was he?
Many thoughts of what he was and why he was plagued the young man. Ignorant humans fearing what they don't understand and in this fear they became the monsters in his eyes. In their fear of the Majin they created reapers and those that called themselves reapers, did just that they hunted the Majin that supposedly ate the hearts of witches and sentenced them to death for their 'misdeeds'. Though Samuel had heard as of late they were just picking off any Majin they came across and had done this for years.
Hunted them..and yet Majin were the monsters.. Samuel use to cringe at the thought of a run in with a reaper though he had come to realize something..reapers were witches, with witch hearts..that were just as delicious if not more satisfying to take. This was a reoccurring thought to the Majin boy, to devour the hearts of reapers. After all he was a Majin and had that desire.. The powerful desire that only got stronger with his age. The thought was starting to seem like something that might be a reasonable idea to him, the more his grudge against the humans grew. But he managed to suppress it shrugging it off as a last-ditch effort...
The more passionate he got about trying to help the Majin get understood, the further that some Majin became Witch Eaters by choice dimmed out in his conscience. And the further that fact went from his mind, the more he believed that they couldn't help it, that it wasn't or hadn't been a choice and in turn he developed a sort of pity for Witch Eaters. His Pity for them was that of a what if they are 'misunderstood'. What if they were forced to become that way, as in a worthless reaper had cornered them an innocent Majin and the Majin had to defend ..itself? Itself, Majin were not humans..they were its? He was an it? ..Humanity was out of his grasp? ...It was something he couldn't have?..This was unsettling to the boy not only did he dislike humans for the way some of them treated Majin, but then there was this to. His jealousy of them, his envy of their humanity. Maybe perhaps spoiled since he had been born, with all his needs at his fingertips, such was the life of the upper crust though. How miserable right??
Silent rage, another plague on his life forever internally screaming. Forever dwelling on the building anger for those that were known as reapers, forever to suppress his own urges to devour the magic that was all around him. Teasing and mocking his very existence. Forever to have something like humanity all around him all well and yet it never be within his own grasp. Forever is a mighty ...long time.
So to occupy his eternity of damnation as he saw it he sat out to prove the other side of the story for the Majin since the 'bad side' was already brought into view, unknown to himself that he was just feeding more into his natural darkness through his good intent and what better way to get more information to prove this than by frequently visiting joining the academy for witchlings..surely a few of the witchlings there could be of use to his quest. What does he do there?
Being around so many witchlings and their magic has caused his hunger to grow. After awhile he has started to ask himself a very serious question, that being why fight the hunger? Reapers were off killing innocent Majin and yet he controlled himself? That hardly seemed to make sense, the boy was growing darker. His first thought of helping the Majin had quickly spawned into a much darker ideal. Though he still wanted to gain the information needed to help them, he was starting to find fact gathering tiresome and boring work. So his thoughts turned, turned back to the idea of reapers and their hearts, their powerful Majin hunting hearts.
He has begun to think, that by becoming a witch-eater he will get more powerful to be able to help the Majin and by becoming one he'd be able to understand them better to try to help them more. And to become this powerful witch eater he'd need a heart, a strong heart..a heart that he wouldn't feel guilty in taking. Such a heart could only belong to a devious, low down reaper...and that is the heart he intends to take, the heart of a powerful misguided reaper.
Goals: ●To become a Sage
●To find out more about Majin
●To take the heart of a powerful reaper
●To make 'friends'
●Find someone he can trust to be 'himself' around
●He like to learn how to swim..
His view on Humans: In general he really just doesn't like them, do to their treatment of Majin, mainly due to most of them being ignorant about Majin. But he doesn't hate them to the extent that they make him miserable just seeing them, He is jealous of them for what they are and angry at them for blaming him for what he is. Its a love hate relationship as you can tell...even if above it seems like he wants to destroy them all or something that is not his intent, he simply wants to 'educate' them and become one of them.
Majin and helping them, does that mean he wants to kill the humans?: Of course not he isn't that crazy, he just wants to help Majin become real in his twisted world he thinks that if he becomes powerful he'll be able to find something that can help the Majin, not of course taking in account that once you become a witch-eater your hunger gets stronger since he believes that to not be true.
Family:
The family he was born to are humans, they do not know that their son is a Majin. Being wealthy and in the higher crust of society its honestly hard to tell if they'd mind it or not, which is why Sam has kept it a secret. They think that his enthusiasm about helping the Majin is a phase that he will grow out, assuming he will grow board of it since he is a teen and their passions are known to change on a whim. They have an ok relationship with him and love him dearly as he does them, though they don't spend much time together, even if they are humans he does love them, he at least see's them as not that ignorant. He has no siblings.
【❝ .I come in.. .P E A C E ....? . . . ★
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 5:11 pm
Eee! He is an intense little dude, huh? xD Oki~ here we go:
He pushes himself hard to be the best. I'm curious, is he the sort of person who gets the highest mark in the class without trying, or does he have to work hard to be the strongest, most intelligent, etc.,etc., whatever his goal is?
I'm a bit confused by his "Jovial" trait. You say that he's outwardly friendly, but really deceitful, yet a "real", honestly friendly person to other Majiin and humans. Majin and humans, presumably, make up the great majority of the population, which would make him an honestly friendly person the great majority of the time... which just doesn't seem to fit in with his under-handed, jealous, deceitful ways. So, where exactly is that line drawn? How much is he willing to/capable of tolerating before that friendly facade falters?
You mention that he's careful about being a Majin and that he wants to get a powerful heart in order to help the Majin... yet his goals imply that he doesn't know much about his race. Why does he feel the need and/or desire to help them... and what does he think that he is capable of doing for them?
You'd think that thinking through every angle of a situation would be a rational, helpful way of approaching something. Why does doing this "sometimes put him in a bad place?" Is it just because the people he's with get annoyed with him? If so, how does that affect him?
In general, how does he feel about other people? He is jealous and deceitful, sure, so people probably aren’t going to trust him too easily, even if he does come off as friendly. So, is he the sort of person who has an abundance of acquaintances, just to absorb their mana? Does he keep to himself, only interacting with people in order to use them to his advantage? Or, would he actually be capable of maintaining close friends?
Why does he have a grudge against Humans for being Human? Does he plan on wiping out the human race because he isn’t capable of being a real Human? O-o Also~ earlier, you mention that he’s a friendly person towards humans... and Humans are listed in his likes. xD;; It’s a bit hazy here… what does he actually feel towards Humans? And again, where is that line drawn, if he has such an intense grudge-holding ability?
Also, in his dislikes, you say “being seen as a monster,” yet he wants to know about Majin and help them. Would he not want to disassociate himself from that monster quality as much as possible?
In his biography, he pities Witch Eaters, yet taking a Reaper heart is one of his goals. There needs to be more clarity in his thought process here. Does he think that becoming a Witch Eater is the only way to fulfill his ambitions and become the best/most powerful? If so, why? Would that affirm his self-image as a monster? How does he feel about that?
Tell me more about his past. :3 His biography says very little. Where did he come from? Who is his family? What is his relationship with them? How did he find out that he is a Majin? Does his family know?
His goal list is 2/3 ultra intense. o-o Also, becoming a Sage is a huge, time-consuming commitment. Does he have any short(er)-term goals?
In general, watch for punctuation/grammar errors and adding/leaving out letters in your sentences. :3 It just makes it a lot easier on the reader if you just give it that one, last once-over~
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:54 pm
Hey there ! Thank you for the Crit~ !
He is an intense little fellow yes! But its good have a mix of people about correct and well from what I've read not many characters here are to intense. ;3
Q: I'm a bit confused by his "Jovial" trait. You say that he's outwardly friendly, but really deceitful, yet a "real", honestly friendly person to other Majiin and humans. Majin and humans, presumably, make up the great majority of the population, which would make him an honestly friendly person the great majority of the time... which just doesn't seem to fit in with his under-handed, jealous, deceitful ways. So, where exactly is that line drawn? How much is he willing to/capable of tolerating before that friendly facade falters?
A: Its a trick trait, he appears to be honestly friendly is what I was getting at. However like you mentioned above he is a very under-handed and deceitful person so this is a more forced trait to help him keep social connections you see. The reason it fits is because like I said its more of a front, he pretends to be nice and friendly to all but really he is probably calling them the worst thing under the sun in his mind. The line of him not being friendly any more? Well since he has been putting this facade on most of his life and he is a teenager now, it would take quite a lot for him to just out right start tearing someone a new one, since he'd not want to jeopardize all his hard work. But yes something might make him loose his cool at people in which he'd more than likely try to apologize afterwords to that person.
Q:
You mention that he's careful about being a Majin and that he wants to get a powerful heart in order to help the Majin... yet his goals imply that he doesn't know much about his race. Why does he feel the need and/or desire to help them... and what does he think that he is capable of doing for them?
A: It's not that he doesn't know much about them, its that he wants to know all there is about them. So he knows all the basic things that are offered on Majin, like old books, stories from relatives or wise old people in the area but he strives to learn more to know all there is to know about them in order to help them. He feels the need to help them because he is one. So in a way its to help himself to not be seen as such a monster if you will. Its like the desire of a cancer patient, they have the illness so they want to make it know to the world, educate if you will and that's what he wants to do in a sense.
Q:You'd think that thinking through every angle of a situation would be a rational, helpful way of approaching something. Why does doing this "sometimes put him in a bad place?" Is it just because the people he's with get annoyed with him? If so, how does that affect him?
A: Well because he could be looked at as indecisive, which yes would cause people to become annoyed with him for taking so long to run the options. It really doesn't affect him overall but he might pretend to be wounded by there annoyance or he might even become a tad snippy with them but mostly he ignore it or if he is pressed to hard he might choose the option that appeals the most to him without running his other options just to hush them up.
Q: In general, how does he feel about other people? He is jealous and deceitful, sure, so people probably aren’t going to trust him too easily, even if he does come off as friendly. So, is he the sort of person who has an abundance of acquaintances, just to absorb their mana? Does he keep to himself, only interacting with people in order to use them to his advantage? Or, would he actually be capable of maintaining close friends?
A: In general he really doesn't have a problem with people, he doesn't like them to much but he doesn't hate them to the extent that they make him miserable just seeing them. Well....people would have to meet him to know that he is jealous and deceitful and then they'd really have to be looking for that to know this about him so I think that as far as people trusting him, why not trust the friendly guy that has given you no reason to be suspicious of him? Yes he would be the type that would try to have a large group of acquaintances for mana absorbing purposes and information or to just use them. No he likes to be sociable after all that's how you find out things in his opinion the more you talk the more things get around. So in turn yes he would be able to develop close friends, however those would most likely be friendships born on lies.
Q:Why does he have a grudge against Humans for being Human? Does he plan on wiping out the human race because he isn’t capable of being a real Human? O-o Also~ earlier, you mention that he’s a friendly person towards humans... and Humans are listed in his likes. xD;; It’s a bit hazy here… what does he actually feel towards Humans? And again, where is that line drawn, if he has such an intense grudge-holding ability?
A: Well that was for him being Majin and they are 'real' he is not 'real' so he is jealous of them for the fact that they have a 'real' existence. Of course not he isn't that crazy, he just wants to help Majin become real in his twisted world he thinks that if he becomes powerful he'll be able to find something that can help the Majin, not of course taking in account that once you become a witch-eater your hunger gets stronger since he believes that to not be true. He is friendly yes and they are something that he likes, he feels a sort of envy for them. He wants to be a real boy so to speak not just a thing in the body of a real boy. You can like people and be jealous/envious of them this is basically how we feels, other than that he feels a hate for them because they seem in his mind, not so sympathetic to the Majin and Witch-Eaters. Which he finds wrong considering there is so much UNKNOWN about them and plus thats like blaming someone with a mental handicap for their actions, Majin feel the constant need to eat hearts correct? So is like a disease and he feels should treat it as such not a 'curse' If that makes sense <3 3
Q:Also, in his dislikes, you say “being seen as a monster,” yet he wants to know about Majin and help them. Would he not want to disassociate himself from that monster quality as much as possible?
A: Well that was meant for the fact that he is trying to prove that the Majin are better than the monsters they are seen as by some. Also, I don't think that people seeing him trying to 'help' the majin would get him seen as a monster, if they see the nice sparkly side of it that he is normally only going to show, not the oh I'm going to take a reapers heart side. So no? Mostly that is there because he hates when he hears people talking bad about Majin, this kind which makes it feel like they are calling him a monster and well no one would like that would they? Then there is the point of when people do find out about how he uses them to gain knowledge or what have you he doesn't want to be seen as a monster for that because in his mind its what he 'HAD' to do.
Q:In his biography, he pities Witch Eaters, yet taking a Reaper heart is one of his goals. There needs to be more clarity in his thought process here. Does he think that becoming a Witch Eater is the only way to fulfill his ambitions and become the best/most powerful? If so, why? Would that affirm his self-image as a monster? How does he feel about that?
A: Pities them because they are 'misunderstood' not like omg your so pathetic now pity. In a way he feels that if he becomes a witch-eater he will like previous said get more powerful to be able to help the Majin and in turn in becoming one he'd be able to understand them better to try and help them you see. Let's face it he is a kid and even though he tends to over think its mostly just about the things he wants to think about so he isn't thinking that this will be just a fool heart attempt and end in misery rather than success.
Q:Tell me more about his past. :3 His biography says very little. Where did he come from? Who is his family? What is his relationship with them? How did he find out that he is a Majin? Does his family know?
A: Sure I can add some stuff in here ! :3
Q:His goal list is 2/3 ultra intense. o-o Also, becoming a Sage is a huge, time-consuming commitment. Does he have any short(er)-term goals?
A: Mostly I just put in his 'main' goals. But sure I can add in some shorter term ones ! <33
Thank you for taking time to crit it was very helpful ! :3 I hope I cleared up somethings and going over my own work now I realize how tired I was when writing this xD so thanks for baring with it and doing a crit.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:38 pm
Alright updated to here. - x - < 3
*took a turn with him and edited and added a few things
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