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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 12:19 am
Alright so recently my boyfriend and me have been having sex,him being a virgin also,to throw that in .he keeps getting so upset and mad saying he hopeless because 10 minutes in he cums and he winds up stopping,he pulls out before he cums tho (im 16 and trying to avoid a baby thus early),what upsets him about it is that he wants to be able to go on like most couples can like hours or so,without cumming,if anyone could lend a hand on how to solve this it would help alot,thank you
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 1:31 am
It goes without saying, but I hope you're on birth control, or at the very least using condoms. If you really truly want to not get pregnant at 16, you both should be taking steps to prevent pregnancy. Pulling out before ejaculation (aka "the withdrawal method") is crap and ineffective - it's not a reliable method of preventing pregnancy. There is sperm in precum and if you're not taking precautions, that alone can get you pregnant. Precum is also not something a guy can control, so he could be leaving precum in you without either of you knowing it.
That aside, there are a few things you two can to do try to make him last longer. He can masturbate and ejaculate before having sex with you, or pulling out and taking a break until his sex drive calms down a little before starting again.
BUT, actually the average time for couples to go from foreplay to orgasm is like 10 minutes or something (can't remember the source). Not "hours or so." So 10 minutes is right on average! And it's not how long a guy lasts that matters, but what he does in that time to pleasure his partner and himself. If he's pressuring himself to last longer, he's not going to last longer, simple as that. He has to relax and stop focusing on the length of time.
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 6:57 am
Niko is right.
Yes, some couples go for hours, but it's not exactly the norm. I can't remember exactly either and I don't feel like looking it up right now, but I think the average time for sex was around 10 minutes too, maybe even a bit less. Younger guys often orgasm earlier too, so there is a good chance that he'll last longer as he gets older. So he has no reason to be upset about that.
The pull out method is not considered a reliable form of birth control because so many guys (especially young guys) have trouble pulling out in time every single time and because something called pre-ejaculate comes out before a guy orgasms. It's a small amount of fluid, most guys cannot feel it coming, it can easily go unnoticed during sex, and it may contain live sperm. So if all you're using is the pull out method, you need to get a real form of birth control before having sex again. You can get condoms at many stores, you can get hormonal birth control from your general doctor, or you can get both condoms and hormonal birth control from a clinic like Family Planning or Planned Parenthood. Using both condoms and a hormonal method is best if you really don't want to get pregnant right now. And if you're a student, the clinic probably won't even charge you for any of their services.
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 9:30 am
no worries we use protection,my best friend knows alot more about pregnency test then me so she gets them for me,
but anyways thank you maybe this will help him understand thank you both i knew you were the right ones to come to about this
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 12:47 pm
XxHis_Corspe_BridexX my best friend knows alot more about pregnency test then me so she gets them for me, Well, you only need to take a pregnancy test if you have reason to believe you might be pregnant. If you use at least one method of reliable birth control as directed, then you should be well protected and shouldn't have a reason to think you're pregnant often.
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 8:36 pm
XxHis_Corspe_BridexX no worries we use protection,my best friend knows alot more about pregnency test then me so she gets them for me, but anyways thank you maybe this will help him understand thank you both i knew you were the right ones to come to about this Taking a pregnancy test does not prevent pregnancy. This is common knowledge and if you don't know about proper protection, you should not be having sex.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 5:31 pm
Alarmingly Charming XxHis_Corspe_BridexX no worries we use protection,my best friend knows alot more about pregnency test then me so she gets them for me, but anyways thank you maybe this will help him understand thank you both i knew you were the right ones to come to about this Taking a pregnancy test does not prevent pregnancy. This is common knowledge and if you don't know about proper protection, you should not be having sex. when i say "protection"i would think you would understand i meant condoms not the pregnancy tests.i know they arent protection..
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 7:15 pm
XxHis_Corspe_BridexX Alarmingly Charming XxHis_Corspe_BridexX no worries we use protection,my best friend knows alot more about pregnency test then me so she gets them for me, but anyways thank you maybe this will help him understand thank you both i knew you were the right ones to come to about this Taking a pregnancy test does not prevent pregnancy. This is common knowledge and if you don't know about proper protection, you should not be having sex. when i say "protection"i would think you would understand i meant condoms not the pregnancy tests.i know they arent protection.. Well, I would think that but the way you worded it sounded as if your 'protection' was pregnancy tests.
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 1:11 pm
Glad to hear you are using protection. 3nodding That is the smart and responsible thing to do.
Forgot to mention, some brands of condoms and lubricants have a desensitizing cream in them that can help make a guy last longer during sex. If those are available where you both live, you could try using those and see if they help. smile
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