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 Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:51 pm
What do you guys think of about the idea of randomly talking to a stranger in public?
It's been my challenge this week and I'm having some difficulties with it. I always wanted to ask an asian boy if I can touch his hair, but instead I ended up asking him what he ordered at Star Bucks. Sharing what we ordered made us smile though heart Then after that someone asked if I could share my table, and these tables are s**t-tastically small. So it's a bit abnormal for someone random to want to share with a stranger until another becomes available.
I'm mostly referring to do so while ppl are walking by outside on the sidewalks. Social gathering places like star bucks makes the challenge a little too easy. I still haven't mustered up the courage to talk to someone random on the sidewalks without a question though would love to be able to see the day where I can socialize freely and talk to whome ever just for the heck of it, no matter where.
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Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 5:04 pm
Creating a common experience is the easiest way. If there's a baby you can say something complimentary, or draw a comparison (awww he reminds me of my nephew!) Same with a dog, if it seems calm and friendly.
Or, ask if they mind answering a question about... Maybe they have a phone you like, or an item of clothing. Maybe you both respond to something at the same time (did you see that?). Just smiling and saying hi can do it. The worst that can happen is no response. Usually you can read a person, and see how open they are to talking.
I often run alongside people while running and chat. It's been useful in longer races to distract yourself.
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 1:44 am
I agree with Lyx. People who have pets are usually happy to talk about them for a minute.
On Gaia, an easy way to approach someone is to ask a question or make a comment about their avatar or their profile. You can judge by a person's response if they're interested in talking more. The same thing works in real life. smile
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 3:26 pm
I do the same. It's pretty easy to strike up a conversation when you have some sort of common ground or something to initiate a conversation.
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:49 pm
What would you want to do that normal people would look down upon, and think you would be weird for it? smile
It's easier to ignore people online than it is offline that's why the challenge is a bit more difficult and when ppl do ignore you offline it hurts more.
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:27 pm
Luufie What would you want to do that normal people would look down upon, and think you would be weird for it? smile I guess I don't understand the question. Could you rephrase it, please? Quote: It's easier to ignore people online than it is offline that's why the challenge is a bit more difficult and when ppl do ignore you offline it hurts more. I agree, but you don't need everyone to like you. It's not possible, and choosing friends wisely is important.
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:31 pm
Breyer Luufie What would you want to do that normal people would look down upon, and think you would be weird for it? smile I guess I don't understand the question. Could you rephrase it, please? An example would be what I stated in my first post: I always wanted to go up to a random asian boy and ask if I can touch his hair. There could be various reactions that I could get from that. One of the most assumed ones is "omg you are weird!" Something that you always wanted to do when talking to strangers. Maybe randomly kiss a girl, or pull down their pants and run off, or give them a present just because you felt like it. What do you always wanted to do, but felt you couldn't due to social rules or fear of how people will react to you? Is that better?
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 3:10 pm
Luufie Breyer Luufie What would you want to do that normal people would look down upon, and think you would be weird for it? smile I guess I don't understand the question. Could you rephrase it, please? An example would be what I stated in my first post: I always wanted to go up to a random asian boy and ask if I can touch his hair. There could be various reactions that I could get from that. One of the most assumed ones is "omg you are weird!" Something that you always wanted to do when talking to strangers. Maybe randomly kiss a girl, or pull down their pants and run off, or give them a present just because you felt like it. What do you always wanted to do, but felt you couldn't due to social rules or fear of how people will react to you? Is that better?
I misunderstood and thought you meant striking up conversations with complete strangers.
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:27 pm
pretty hate machine Luufie Breyer Luufie What would you want to do that normal people would look down upon, and think you would be weird for it? smile I guess I don't understand the question. Could you rephrase it, please? An example would be what I stated in my first post: I always wanted to go up to a random asian boy and ask if I can touch his hair. There could be various reactions that I could get from that. One of the most assumed ones is "omg you are weird!" Something that you always wanted to do when talking to strangers. Maybe randomly kiss a girl, or pull down their pants and run off, or give them a present just because you felt like it. What do you always wanted to do, but felt you couldn't due to social rules or fear of how people will react to you? Is that better?
I misunderstood and thought you meant striking up conversations with complete strangers.I'm still including conversations xd Apologies for being unclear in this topic. And ya asking people first always helps although depending on the question it can make things more awkward. xd And depending on the strength, i'd say getting decked in the face might be fun sometimes. rofl I know I'd have fun laughing about it on the sidelines and maybe laugh about it later if I was the one getting decked in the face.
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:45 pm
I think getting a good conversation going first, and then, somehow getting the topic onto shampoo, or something. Like "what do you use on your hair, it's so shiny!" might work. And then say, "does it make it soft, can I feel?" That would probably work, and would be a natural line of discussion/action.
I don't think I could ask a stranger to let me touch them under any circumstance, but I think I may be a bit more squeamish than most people, even, in that regard. I even do a lot of body language to shut people down on the proximity - taking a step back, or leaning back if they get too close, crossing my leg away from them, crossing my arms over my chest. If some one is really causing me to feel agitation (i.e. inappropriate staring) I'll look away, or even (and rudely) putting my hand up to block them from my vision, but they have to be rudely staring for me to go to that length. So if a person is doing any of those things, don't ask to touch them. biggrin
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