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 Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 7:49 pm
Hey Burn. So, you may not be aware, but I'll be graduating High School next month. I'm pretty psyched, but at the same time i'm starting to question so many things.
Burn, my Father is handicapped, two of his spinal disks have deteriorated completely so they can't put in artificial ones to cover them so he has a hard time walking. Some days he's in a lot of pain just getting out of bed.
I'm the youngest of three sons and really the only one left that helps him out. You see, my mother's an alcoholic who doesn't work and barely leaves the house if she can avoid it so i'm all he has left. I'm starting to feel like if I go off to college and move away it's like I'm abandoning him. He's said that once I move he plans to go live by my brothers in the city so he can be close to them and his parents. He's proud of me for going to school and that I got a few scholarships already and never said anything about being upset. But every time it gets brought up about my orientation or my testing days he gets distant. Is this just empty nest syndrome setting in? Or is he upset that I'm leaving him? I could use some advice Burn, what do you think is going on, and what do you think I should do?
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 7:59 pm
I think it is empty nest. My mother got the same way when I told her I was moving out.
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 8:02 pm
I don't know though, I feel like it's gotta be more than that. Everything is great most times until were around each other and run out of things to say. He just kinda looks at me then starts talking again.
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 8:07 pm
3nodding Probably because he is really proud of you
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:36 am
You are the apple...
It's more than likely you "leaving the nest". He has further living arrangements as you said, so he wont be totally alone, right? Your brothers and/or his parents will be around to take care of him.
In the long run, I think college would be your best bet. You'll be able to get even better pay in your future jobs which will allow you to pay for better care for your father, should you need to.
and I am your core.
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:03 am
A similar thing happened with my grandma's older sister and her (adopted) son. For 35 years he lived with her. For 20 of those years he took care of her. Finally, under the pressure of my grandma and the rest of my family, he went off to California to study nursing. About 5 months later, she died and he couldn't come back in time for the funeral as the funeral coincided with his final exams. I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is what's more important to you: staying home and caring for your dad or getting out and trying to succeed where it seems the rest of your family has failed.
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