Welcome to Gaia! ::

Wow...Sammy...

I told yins it was a long story.

;-; my life's not even that bad

My life has been basically good... I have a few problems, personal demons that won't stay in the ground.

But besides that, I've lived a good life

Guess it's my turn? (If you don't want to read, just go to the bottom of this and read the last 2 paragraphs. Was ranting on and on and on...)

Ah. Childhood. Sweet sweet childhood.
Was at the top of my class in school, could read and write by the age of 2-3. A lot of expectations come out of me since I was the first born. Years pass by, so far so good. But, at the age of 5, everything started to change.

My family and I used to live in our house, a lot of space. We moved and because of that, I had to transfer. I was sad, but then again, I didn't really care much for others. Everything just happened so fast. My dad wouldn't go to work and he told me to stay with him instead of my mother when he came to pick me up from school, since they would both pick me up. I didn't know anything that was happening and just went along with it.

My dad got a letter saying, he was fired and it was a mess. He hasn't been coming home often and I just slept nights without him. By the age of 6, my dad didn't have a job yet and my mom would have been at work at night, starting at 10. When she was gone, my dad would go to the back of the house, locking the door. I was wondering what he was doing so I knocked on the door and he would open it just a smidge, asking me what. I asked what he was doing and he would answer. "Just playing darts." He would then shoo me away.

Months passed and this would keep happening. One day around 11-12 at night, I opened the door and saw a woman that I didn't know and my dad together, playing. My dad told me to say hello and I did, waving hi.

The nights would go on like this. At school, I was the smartest and the most obedient. My teacher liked me, and I didn't like the other students, thinking they weren't up to my curriculum, so you can say I was a snobby kid.

One day, I was cleaning the house with my sister and mother. My mom went to the back of the house, saw a safe and I was guessing she wanted to know what was in it. (My dad would always be gone in the day times, never coming home till late at night) When she pried it open, she saw cocaine, bundles of it. I didn't know what it was until I studied about the drug, so I was pretty clueless about it.

The next few days, when my dad tried to come home, my mom would put the chain up, so that he wouldn't even be able to come into the house. As a child, I didn't know what was going on and I loved my dad so much, so I would tiptoe out of bed and unchain the door for him so that he can come in. Most nights were like that now, and when it was chained, he would call out my name. About half an hour, he would give up when he figured I was asleep. Where he would sleep you question? In his car in the back, pretty cramped.

When my mom had to go to work, my dad would be home, saying he changed. Hours passed and I would hear a knock at the door, it was the same woman again. My dad and she would always stay at the back, together, doing drugs. I would lay in bed, trying to sleep. It was close to morning and my mom got home, making a silent entrance. My mom would open the door, leading to the back and saw my dad and that woman. She grabbed the woman's hair and shoved her out the door, locking it. I was watching, tearing a bit. She scratched my dad, right down the chest, tore his shirt apart. I begged them to stop fighting, and they wouldn't. They would always argue. When my dad left the house, she threw down his clothes down the stairs, outside. My dad would always say to help him pick up his clothes so that he can put it in his suitcase and so I did.

In 4th grade, I was a quiet, shy person since I moved into honors classes. I didn't want to talk to anyone, afraid that they'll judge me. Was a whole new different person ever since that incident. My dad dropped my siblings and me at my grandma's house. When we were about the car, he stopped us and asked me, crying, if my mom was cheating on him. I said no. He kept persisting until he got me crying myself. About half an hour to forty-five minutes later, he had us wipe our tears and let us go to our grandma and drove off. My mom was there, crying and my grandma, dad's mother, was comforting her, asking me, where my dad went. I said I didn't know and just went away.

Some days later, my dad took me and my siblings to another lady's place to do drugs, and to be honest, her house had so many toys, it filled the whole living room. I didn't want to touch them and just sat on the couch. I whined to my dad, saying I wanted to go home a few hours later, after watching tv. He told me to just sleep, saying it would take awhile. I did and when it was time to go, my mom had found out where my dad was and was there, waiting. My dad drove out of there. He left us at our grandma's house, saying that to go with my mom, so we did.

Same old thing happened, mom threw down his clothes down the stairs, outside the house. etc, etc. My dad had a drinking problem and when he was driving home, he crashed into something because he was drunk. He ended up on the news and I saw his car and all that, near the high way. My dad ended up going to jail for 4-7 months when his mom busted him out. He didn't do any drugs or drinking after that, but before then, my mom wanted a divorce and he said no

School wise, I was still quiet. I talked to no one. Still a smart student. I entered depression and ate to relieve the stress, leading to my obesity/weight problems. I was an ugly kid, I tried to avoid everyone..made no friends.

Throughout these years, I've been abused by my father, there was the belt, where he would spank me hard numerous times, slap me across the face, all that. I have scars across my body that no one has ever seen, so I'm embarrassed to show my arms and legs, afraid of the judgments. Until today, he still does these things. He doesn't do anymore drugs and doesn't drink, made a promise to my mom, saying he wouldn't drink. My parents are still together, a few occasional fights here and there, traveling around the world since I was young.

Now, as an 8th grader, I'm a happy kid, extrovert, open to talk to anyone about their problems, a really nice kid, intelligent, and trustworthy(teacher's pet for almost every teacher). Great at sports, art, academics, and singing, (what my teachers and friends say) I've lost about 30-40 pounds, so I'm almost average weight. I already found a guy who's been a part of my life for 2 years and a half. Just hoping everything goes okay now.

@Samiwa: I think that would be pretty nice smile