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 Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 3:17 pm
 
Setting
Sakn's grave. - Has the dead come back to life?
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 3:20 pm
"Hello friend."
Came a gentle voice as Sara approached the small clearing in where she, those months ago, almost fell victim to a wicked spirit. She could never find his body, maybe wolves had dragged it off, maybe it was found and taken. However even with out it she had made a small grave for him. In her mind there was no way anyone could survive a stabbing like that and all this time she was convinced she had taken the red heads life that day. Even though the scars he had given her healed, the emotional ones had lasted all this time. Some nights she could still picture his body, see what harm she had caused him and that was something she was sure she would never forgive herself for. She knelled by the small tree she had planted, on the branches hung bells, small dolls, shells and other little trinkets that she had offered to his spirit. It was her little place to come when she needed to think, to talk to him.
She did not know if he held anyone close to his heart, anyone she could apologise to, or tell of his passing. So instead she had taken it on herself to visit him religiously, to make sure he never got lonely. "I have brought you another gift. I remember you wore a Koi on your back, so I went into town and bought you a painting of one on a scroll." She smiled, the scroll was only small, so it could hang on a branch of the baby tree. One day this tree would grow tall, she saw it as a way to represent life. When she was old it would be a giant and even when her bones where coral it would live on as a memory. Maybe then she could apologise to his face for what she had done. "A lot has happened Sakn... I feel as if I am going insane, there is so much I do not understand and it is getting more complicated, I do not think I could get further from enlightenment. I do not know if I am cut out for the life that has been handed to me. I... do not think I am strong enough and I am trying to get stronger but... its the emotional strain which is wearing me out. So few understand what I am going through and even less see the world the same way I do." She sighed, what if she could not live up to the expectations people had for her.
Life was a battle, the world was not the magical rose-tinted place she used to believe it was. She had been forced to grow up and now she had she knew she had to change. Something that was a lot harder than it sounded.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 4:11 pm
She hadn't changed much. At least not physically. She still had her hair the same way, and her smiles were just as warm to the people she passed. And he followed her like a forlorn shadow.
Sakn had come to do this often, in some sort of ritual. It started only a week after Xiu had saved him in the forest. Sakn had awoken in cold sweat from a dream about the girl from that night. Sara. Her name, face, her ideals (so easy to read, she was like an open book), her smiles and the fear she exuded was burned into his memories. The dream had made little sense, but the emotions driving it were obvious.
He had to find her, had to apologize. The first time it happened, he followed her as she walked to a fine home in the Legionnaires housing. It was a beautiful estate, and foreboding. He had called out to her through the crowds at the last moment, but she hadn't answered. Sakn watched her slip between those doors and disappear.
The next time was only a glimpse. A young man (strangely familiar, like remembered from a hazy fever dream) in servants clothing had slipped into the building, and Sakn had daringly followed him, hoping he might lead the redhead to Sara. She was in the gardens then, but the young man he had followed surprised her and the fisherboy slipped away, foiled again.
After that, he would hover around the estates (which he found out belonged to the Lee family, and that Huang Lee was the one watching Sarangerel), but never entered. When she left them, Sakn began following her again. Market trips, walks through the city. She was always guarded though. Sometimes it wasn't obvious, but Sakn could feel eyes watching him; protecting her. So he never confronted her.
Instead he'd softly say his apologies as he walked behind her, practicing it like a speech. All the things he'd say, all the ways he'd say it.
When she walked again today, he had seen her by luck only. Now he stood in the crowds, ducking her eyes when she glanced around, but admiring her smiles and her friendliness as she bought a scroll (a flash of color was all he saw on the front of it before it was rolled up and tucked away), before moving along.
Sakngea had never followed her out of the city, perhaps because he dodged that forest like a plague, or perhaps because he had never been around her when she went outside the protective city. But today was different, the air was warm and comforting, and he felt a certainty, a confidence today that he usually lacked on these haunts.
He would stop her today and tell her sorry.
The walk was comforting, and he made sure to follow far behind her; his footsteps silent and careful. But he didn't stop her, and when he finally moved it, she had already stopped.
The clearing was familiar, too familiar. Sakn swallowed around a lump in his throat as he hovered in the shadowy edges. There, right where that sapling was planted...that was where he had lay, bleeding. The redhead shuddered at the memories of that moment, but soon focused on the tree. It was young, obviously freshly planted, and covered in trinkets. Sara sat before it carefully, as if she was comfortable here(how could she be?), and she spoke kindly of him.
The redhead felt hurt as she poured her heart out to that tree, and knew this was the time to say it, to swallow his fear and step into the light. So Sakngea took a deep breath before stepping out into the opening, silent steps carrying him into the sunlight.
"Sara..." he started, before pausing. What to say now? How to start? How to apologize?
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 4:28 pm
She often heard the voices of the dead. It was the reason why she was brought to this beautiful city in the first place.
Was his spirit finally talking to her, after all this time? Had he finally come back to hear her? The voice she heard however, sounded very real. Too strong, too physical to be the words of the spirit. She froze, and slowly her head turned around. Her pale eyes widening as the man stood before her. She was taught that only experienced priests could see spirits, so the fact that he was before her as clear as day did not make any sense but it was happening. She shook her head and came to stand, her legs shaking and her stance fragile. Shock, it had hit her hard.
"W-what are you doing here? You... you can not be here. I..." She backed up slowly, her eyes not leaving his. This could not be happening, she had just come to terms with his murder. She had just been able to look at herself in the mirror with out seeing his blood on her body. Things...
had just got a lot more complicated. "I... killed you."
She uttered coldly, clenching her fists as she spoke, her eyes glistening with slight tears, this is what she was talking about. The hurt this city had caused her was unreal, she had being forced to deal with emotions to extremes, to levels she did not know existed. It had given her some of the most painful memories of her life and they seemed to keep coming. You would think she would be revealed he was alive. However her mind would not let her accept he was. The guilt she had felt had crippled her and now it had too strong a hold on her soul to just pass.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:00 pm
"Killed me?" Sakn asked, his face quickly contorting in to a look of confusion when Sara's eyes pricked with tears, when her voice trembled and her legs shook. What was she talking about? "What're ya tal--"
It hit him with enough force to make him flinch; the memories filled his mind. She had stabbed him, left him bleeding on the forest floor. Of course she thought he was dead, who wouldn't be dead from those wounds? And, perhaps, if Xiu had not shown up, he would be dead. But...
"Sara, I ain' dead. Y'didn't kill me," he walked forward slowly as he spoke, rough tan hands reaching forward, extended so she could touch him, feel it for herself. "I'm here to tell y'somethin'. Nawt t'haunt you," he tried to reassure her, because it was obvious that she was in denial. Sakn could feel it radiate off her. She didn't believe him at all. How could she?
"Lissen Sara, jus' lissen t'me okay?" Sakn murmured as he stepped closer, just within reach now. If he could just put his hand on her shoulder, let her feel the weight, feel the life of him. Sakngea raised an arm, moving slowly, careful not to frighten her. Just to touch her, to show her he wasn't a ghost.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:28 pm
Was she to believe him? She remained still as he came closer to her, she was frozen to the ground, routed down like the little tree next to her. He lifted a hand to her and for a second she flinched, the last time he laid a hand on her, it was wrapped around her throat and the memory triggered through her body like a wave. Then his hand rested on her shoulder, gently. He was real, she could feel the warmth of his skin. She looked up at him, he was just how she had remembered. She lifted up her own hand, almost bewitched by his presence. She fan her fingers through his bangs, stroking them over the place where the rock had collided with his skull. Before it stroked down his braid and continued to fall onto his chest until it reached the place where she struck, what she though was the final blow.
If her father had seen this, they both would be DEAD. She was sure miles away on the farm he had just dropped from a heart attack.
For a second she forgot he was a person, she would never touch a man so openly but at the moment he seemed more like a book than a living creature. She was studying him and even though she had felt his heartbeat, felt his breathing she could not believe it. A single tear ran don her face and she remained. This... no... "No!"
She shook her head and pushed him back away from her, hard. So much so she stumbled back and landed on the ground. She felt ill, her heart was racing. She stared back at him, her hair laid over her shoulder. "Sakn... you face has haunted my dreams, your blood had been painted on my body for months. I thought that my soul was doomed for taking your life, I never forgave myself for what I did. I thought myself a murderer, a monster." She uttered raising her hand to her heart and clenching her clothing. "I preyed for you every day. No one has had such a huge impact on my life, ever. What can you possibly have left to say to me after what I almost did to you? Why would you even want to come near me when I almost took away everything from you? You were the only innocent that night Sakn. I am so sorry but why... why come back now? Why not save me the heartache and return the moment you could, why wait until I have just got my life in order to send things into chaos?" She shook her head some more.
... this was not happening.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:26 pm
It was relief he felt at first as Sara reached out and touched his forehead, her fingers combing back his hair before falling to his gut, her fingers instantly knowing exactly where the wound had been. He inhaled through his teeth as she pressed against the spot, the area was sensitive to touch now, and her fingers sent a tingle through him.
Next was confusion:
Sakn flinched as Sara pushed him away. It was unexpected, and he moved forward to help her up, only to pull back as she spoke; he could barely look her in the eyes as she bombarded him with questions. Didn't she understand? This wasn't her fault. it was his! How could she blame herself for this? He was confused and frustrated by this, but the bite of her last words stung the most. How could he have left this to fester for so long? Why hadn't he told her earlier? Why appear now?
"I wussafraid," he said slowly, before gaining the courage to continue, "Y'did nothing wrong, Sara. I willingly allowed her---it to control me, I wus no innocent. An', an' after all of it wus over, I tried to tell y'but I couldn'. I couldn' do it till now. Sara, please, forgive me."
Sakn had never been good with words, he was not an emotional person. But he tried so hard to express to her with those simple sentences how horrible he felt, how wrong she was to blame herself. How wrong he was to have not come to her earlier. A million confusing feelings wrapped up in so few sentences.
He stepped forward again, then, offering a hand. Hoping Sara would calm down, that she would accept this. That she would forgive him, or at least hear him out.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:48 pm
"Before then... I only thought I only need fear people. How wrong I was... I am afraid Sakn and surprised I have made it this far. I was such a naive little child before you opened my eyes." She meant it when she said he has a huge impact on her life, he had knocked the rose tinted glasses from her face and allowed her to see the world in its true colours. If that was a blessing or a curse she was yet to diagnose. However, she knew this did not change much. Sakn was still a Noble, what is to say that his own hatred for the Legion was already planted into him before the spirit took hold, what if she had just made his blood lust stronger. "The truth is, this world is corrupt and because of this everyone has a shadow lingering over their hearts. I do not know who are my fiends, who are my enemies. Who's words are the ones I should listen to."
She looked up at him and shook her head, she had everything to feel sorry for. "There is no bad blood between us Sakn, you saved my life that day. Whilst I was fighting so were you and I know that deep down." She knew he did not mean to hurt her, he was willing to die in order to save her life. It annoyed her, how everyone wanted to protect her. In the end all Sara wanted to do was take care of herself. She did not want anyone ever again spilling blood on her behalf.
"Why would you let such a thing get so close to you? I need to learn Sakn. The voices of the dead ring so clear now... Yet, I do not know if I should listen. What if I am too weak to keep them from taking over me?" Before that day, spirits were the only things that had never hurt her. Now she was not too sure if even they could be trusted. They were as flawed as people. Death did not grant you enlightenment, you were still as lost as you are alive. She was scared that... one day she would fall victim to one, that she would hurt everyone who she loved because she was not strong enough.
"Its funny, I still hide what I am from people. No wonder some fear our powers. Even I do.." She uttered, slowly lifting her hand to reach for his...
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