Welcome to Gaia! ::

Soho was pouting. Happy, maybe, after all the new baby was adorable! But still pouting. SHE was supposed to be the baby around here! And now all the big females in the house were cooing and awing over the new baby and she was left sitting out on the table in the back, painting her toenails with her black paint. She pulled her hand back, admiring her work for a moment before going on to her next toe.

Too bad the paint washed off so quickly.

"Ruby," said a voice that was meant to be mildly damning but instead was totally indulgent, "I do declare, black's not a colour for toenails."

And there was Burgundia at the door, and then standing by her: the expression on her face pretty much confirmed that though babies came and went, Soho could always rely on an unlimited source of adoration from her big sister. Really big sister, now. Dee sat down next to her, crossing her legs demurely, watching her sister's toenail artistry.

"Black's just not nice, darlin'," she said primly. "You're surely too pretty a girl to do the... What's it called? .... Gosh thing? Gorth?"

"DEEEE!!!" Soho screamed, jumping to her feet and racing to tackle her sister. But her sister was so much taller that it probably wouldn't make too much of an impact. She wrapped her arms around Dee's waist and looked up at her, speaking at a mile a minute.

"Iwasthinkingitwouldgo withmycolorsbecause I'mred andblackandwhiteand-- I've missed you SO much!!" She finished with a gigantic grin.

Burgundia pushed Soho's pale hair out of her face, usual pensive expression broken to give a smile down to her beloved little sister. The hugs were more awkward to give now; but she could lean down and wrap her arms around Ruby and kiss her on the forehead.

"I've surely missed you altogether too much," she murmured. "I was just frantic all the time you were away. But it looks like Cousin Silva and Cousin Aleric brought you home all in one piece. Thank God. It's awful without you, you know," Dee said candidly. "I do love you terribly. Why are you up here all on your lonesome? Did you get my letters? I left 'em with Miz. Ice."

"I did! I'm still reading them all." She said with a happy smile. She didn't mention that half the time she had to find a dictionary to help. What mattered was that Dee had written her! "And Ice got a new baby and this metal thing, and everybody's paying attention to him." She ended with a pout, her bottom lip sticking out just slightly.

"So I came out here to paint my toes because it's so pretty out!" She finished, smiling once again. "The baby's awfully cute, though." She added with a sigh, as if that wasn't quite a good thing.

"Oo-oh, well," Dee said, with a slow frown. "Babies are one thing, Ruby, but nothing's as cute as you. Babies just need a bushel of attention, that's all. God love you, Ruby, you're a large sight cuter than any baby."

She looked mildly annoyed that anybody was doing Soho a disservice, even unconsciously, and absently ran her fingers through the sides of the juvie's hair. "I do know how you feel, though," she admitted, nose wrinkling. "We just... Got a new baby back home, so to speak. Not that I mind, but... She takes a lot of time. God provides, darlin'. Why, it's obvious She spent a little extra time on you."

"You're so sweet, Dee." Soho said, hugging her more tightly before reaching for her hand. "Come over here! I can paint your nails, too! If you want I can go get a different color! I've got red and purple and white... we could make pink! And I've got blue, too! Blue would look good on you!"

She paused. "You've got a new baby, too?"

Dee took Soho's hand, pulling away the black piece of cloth that was draped over one shoulder and her hip with the other; she dropped it down as she squeezed her sister's fingers, resigned to girly things. "Yes. Rose-mama got a new little juvenile who came because... Anyway, she's come, so that's that. How about a little red? Or pink, maybe? Blue would probably make me look sallow. You'd look a-dor-a-ble in pink."

"You think? I thought it would clash with my red." Soho said. "Stay here and I'll be right back!" She said, zipping off to Ice's room and coming back a few seconds later with the red and white paint juggling in her hands. She dropped down on the table, motioning for Dee to sit down so she could start.

"It's a feien?" Soho asked. "What's she like? Is she pretty? Is she nice? I wouldn't want you to live with a not nice feien!" She added, looking slightly worried as she mixed the red with the white on the table.

Burgundia immediately slipped to a half-lounging position, propping herself up on her elbow, chin in her palm as she watched Soho's hands. She obviously thought about the situation before she answered.

"Her name is Marne and she's just a button taller than you," she said. "Pretty... I guess; she's got red hair and that always makes me think of ginger cats. She's nowhere near you, though don't let that go to your head; you've always been the prettiest I've ever seen. Vanity's a sin in the eyes of God. But you are very pretty," her sister said indulgently. "As for nice, she's... ... ... very up, close and personal. Put a little more red in, if it's too pale it is gonna clash with you, darlin'."

Soho nodded and added more red to the mixture. "Yeah, I thought it would." She said. "But she sounds nice! I mean, it could be worse, right? But I should tell you about my adventure! See, we ran into a friend of Mister Silva Demon's. She's a real amazon pirate! And she went with us to New York and took us to the field where there were these crazy animals!"

She looked at the paint, satisfied with the color and reached for Dee's hand to start painting her nails.

Dee obediently let her nails be painted, watching the process curiously. She had never really tried anything fashonable other than her wraps: of course, the entire system would have reeked 'painted jezebel' to her when she'd been a juvenile, but adulthood was making her mellow slightly. "Crazy animals? Does that mean you were out doing dangerous things? You didn't get hurt or scared, did you?"

"I was very, very brave!" She announced proudly. "I flew through the birds and when one tried to attack me Mister Silva Demon tackled him and slammed him to the ground and broke his leg!" She said. "Then I got to the bush and flew through it to get to the roots and help Aleric get his flute out from under them!" She went on. Her very own adventure, and she was the star! She was so proud of herself that she completely forgot how much she had hated it at the time.

"And there was a crash and a boom! and a gigantic feien eating bear came through the trees and we rushed to Penn! And rode away before he could get to us." She finished with a nod, reaching for the other hand. "Pink looks very pretty on you." She added.

"Cousin Aleric broke his leg?" Dee's eyes narrowed: if Aleric's leg was ready to be broken, small and delicate Soho was probably in a lot more danger. "A bear? You really saw a bear? Cousin Silva let you see a bear? What if you had been killed stone dead?"

"No, no, no, Mister Silva Demon broke the BIRD'S leg. The one that tried to attack me? And We were long gone before the bear could have eaten us." Soho said with a nod. "It was so cool!"

Burgundia heaved a sigh. "So long as you're back safe," she said. "I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. Try not to have any more adventures like that soon. I can surely only handle one every so often. It's not nice. Cousin Aleric should know better, really he should. But then, you'd just pine away slap to death if you got left behind, wouldn't you?"

"They wanted to leave me behind but I wouldn't let them." Soho agreed cheerfully. "I was going to follow them and then sneak on the plane! It would have been fun, but Mister Silva Demon already saw that coming."

Burgundia sighed again, and leant forward all she could to kiss Soho's head again. "You're surely something else, Ruby. Give me your hands, darlin', I'll paint over your black. Then we can have matching manicures. Won't that be fun?"

A small noise began to drum into her brain, low and monotonous, and altogether too much like the sound of one feien desperately drumming her little fingers on the door in agony as she sat on the doorknob. Dee's brow furrowed.

"Marne," she called out, "run away, now; Ruby and I are talking. And it's highly rude of you to let yourself into a house where you didn't even introduce yourself to the hostess. It's surely impertinent."

"I'm sorry," said a thoroughly depressed, contrite voice from the doorway. "I just wanted a teeny weeny peek. The window was open downstairs."

Dee expelled a breath and rolled her eyes at her little sister. "She's just exactly like the little lamb who followed Mary to school one day, Ruby; I'm sorry."

Ruby blinked, then waved with a wide smile. "It's fine! Ice loves visitors! And I haven't gotten to meet your bond yet!" She added as she willingly gave over her hand. "Come on back!" She called to Rose.

"Rose?" asked Burgundia, carefully applying the pink over the black. "Rose-mama, oh, I wish - "

There was a noise rather like a tiny sonic boom as a little blur zipped from the doorway where she had been sitting on the doorknob and threw her arms wholesale about Ruby Soho's neck. Marne chose to introduce herself normally: pressing her lips to Ruby's mouth and showing off the fact that Rose had let her into the strawberry lip gloss.

"I'm in love with you! I knew it!" Smooch. "I love you so much, I love your hair!" Smooch. "I'm wearing lip stuff, can you taste it?" Smooch. "It's berry." Smooch. "I - oh, gaaawd!"

The paint had tipped mildly. Marne giggled and went bright red, to match her hair, immediately trying to wipe the pink off Soho and getting her hands messy. "I'm so sorry! What a hellacious mess. I bet you think I'm a total idiot. I'm so sorry, let me get that for you - "

Dee looked mortified. "Marne."

"Sorry, sorry, sorry - hey, I love this pink!"

Soho blinked. Her first kiss from non-family... She raised her hand to her lips, wondering if it was romantic... or just plain strange. "Um... Hi! I'm Ruby Soho! Except everybody calls me Soho, except for um... Dee." She finished, glancing over at her sister for a moment to see how to react. She could understand the tackle attack, but kissing too?

"Do you want to paint your nails, too?" She asked as she recovered.

Considering that Marne had her hands planted on either side of Soho's hips and their faces were still about an inch apart, it was probably a mix of both column A and column B. Then she giggled again and held up her fingers.

"I would, but they're already pink now," she said. "It's like body art. I look ridonkulous."

"Ridiculous."

"That too. Oh, look at your nails, Dee, they're pretty!"

"Why don't you go and find somewhere to wash off?" It was not so much a suggestion as a Do It Now.

"Right now? Ruby and I just met and we're in love."

"Marne. Now, please."

"I'm sorry about the paint," Marne said contritely again, and flipped back her hair and beamed good-naturedly. "I'm pretty messy. I'll go find a tap."

She gave Ruby one last kiss - thankfully, on the cheek. "You can be my girlfriend today," she said happily, "and maybe Tuesday, too," and she zipped out the door.

Burgundia massaged her temples and then went back to painting Soho's fingernails, unaware of the pink streaks at her forehead. "Do you see what I mean?"

"I'm her girlfriend?" Soho asked blankly. "Well, I've always wanted to be a girlfriend... but I thought it would be with a... well... boy." She said, still confused. "And you've got a little paint on your forehead." She added idly. "But it looks cute on you!"

Silva yawned and headed in the general direction of Soho, picking up Dee's magic as well as something new that was--

heading directly towards him. He blinked as he caught sight of a dark blue juvenile.

"Please just take no notice of her," Dee said gloomily, rubbing delicately at her forehead before giving up and going back to Ruby's nails. "She watches the television commercials and she has about five other girlfriends and ten boyfriends, one of who she calls 'Pepsi Man'. I declare, she's just nervewracking. But I suppose it's up to me to teach her a little something. It's not at all proper to just announce that you're walking out with somebody."

Happily unaware of this little maxim, Marne - who was going at her usual ten million miles an hour - hit splat into Silva's chest; she looked up, beamed, and flipped her hair. She apparently did this a lot.

"I'm so sorry!" she apologized amiably. "I didn't see you there; I'm just being the worst dummy today. Rose says they should give me speeding tickets." Nothing loath, the little redhead immediately flung her arms around Silva's neck, leaning up to kiss him. "I'm Marne! Wow, you're kind of tall. I think I'm in love with you, too." Kiss. "Ruby Soho's my girlfriend right now, but I bet I can slot you in Wednesday as my new boyfriend!" Kiss. "Hey, do you know where I can find some water?"

He blinked, then gently pried her off of him as he tried to figure out whether he should laugh or knock some sense into the girl. "Sorry, darlin, I'm already spoken for..." He said calmly. She was Soho's girlfriend? He'd never met her before.

"Bathroom's to your right." He added.

"That's okay! I like sharing. I'm already sharing you with the Pepsi Man." She gave him two thumbs up. "He works in a construction zone with no shirt. I wouldn't want to make your girlfriend sad, though; I guess we'll just be friends. Unless she's cute; is she cute? Oh, hey, thanks! Sorry for the bump again; guess it didn't hurt you, though, I'm relieved."

Marne took off into the room designated bathroom. There were a couple of noises that sounded a great deal like a juvenile attempting to use the tap and failing miserably.

He twitched and headed into the bathroom, looking at her for a moment thoughtfully. "She's hot... Don't know if I would call her cute, though." He said thoughtfully. "Having trouble?"

Soho frowned slightly. "But if she's got that many how will she have enough time for me?" She asked logically. "I would want lots of attention!"

"'Hot' is a good substitute for 'cute'," was called out by the tap. "You're lucky to have a hot girlfriend! I guess you're hot but not cute, though, too; I mean that in a nice way, no offense! Um. I'm real sorry to bug you again, but how do you get the water out? Rose's tap is kind of like a press thing. Gawd! I should probably bring Soho some water, too; I got paint on us because we were making out, but Dee was pretty upset that I interrupted. I feel awful, I'll do something nice for her to make up. C'mon, tap, give it up. "

Burgundia carefully painted Soho's littlest nail, careful to get it perfect and giving a faint smile when it was done. "Well," she said, "if there's anyone for giving attention, it's got to be Marne, I bet; but you shouldn't have an, ahem, special friend yet anyway. Cousin Silva and I do surely agree."

"You made out... with Soho." Silva repeated slowly. He dropped down, turning on the water easily. And a little too hard. "What's your name, darlin? Who's your bond?"

Soho shook her head. "No, I'm almost half a year old now. I'm old enough! I think..."

"Hey, thanks! I owe you ten million."

The dark blue juvenile dropped under the flow and gave out a minor eek at the cold water. She then washed her hands, managing to also get every other inch of herself soaked in the process.

"My name's Marne. You probably missed it the first time; I get excited around new people." She flung her head back like she'd seen in Herbal Essences ads. "Marne Lukas-Hein! My bond's Rose - I live with Burgundia, you know? Soho's big sis? She's great! I never knew Gaia was so fun. It's... Um, what's a good word... Bitchin'. Is that a good word? Rock'n'roll!" She managed to make a good approximation of the devil horns at Silva, then stuck her head under the spray again.

"You're still my baby sister," Dee said censoriously. "Besides, I can't think of anyone nice enough for you. You surely can't, can you, Ruby?"

"I've got lots of people I still haven't met!" Soho said, not discouraged in the least. "But I never thought of having a girlfriend. I think I might get jealous if she looked prettier than I did..." She added thoughtfully.

His little girl was dating a female... that used the word "bitchin." Silva scowled slightly, trying to deal with this concept in a logical way. The female part didn't bother him so much. The greeting... well... huh. And she lived with Dee?

"Casca's replacement." He said finally.

Burgundia looked as though she wanted to slap Soho in a chastity belt and then take a long, soothing lie-down. "Well, that would be nigh-on impossible because you're the prettiest juvenile around," she said weakly. "So I don't think it would surely be a problem, Ruby, whatever you wanted to do. But I won't hold with anyone who doesn't deserve you. Whether they're a boy or a young woman. Want me to do your toes?"

The juvenile eventually came out of the spray, gasping for breath, and sat up on the lip of the sink. She squeezed some of the water out of her wet hair, and her grin at Silva was clear and tranquil. "Yes," she said candidly. "I heard about how sad Rose was; my old bond and Djerod are big friends, so I heard about it early - I loved my old bond, you know, so much but... Hearing about unhappy people, it breaks me up a bit, and I wanted a chance to do something about it. So now I'm here. Hey," she said, brightening again, "what's your name? I never asked."

"I'm Silva, darlin." He said. "The guy that killed him."

"Okay!" Soho said, offering her little feet. "But I don't know if I'll ever find what I REALLY want in a boyfriend. He has to be as strong as Mister Silva Demon and as nice as Aleric and as fun as you!" She said, adding yet another point to her list.

"Cool!" Marne said, as if Silva had in fact noted down his love for peppermints, or something. "Nice to meet you, Silva. I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other, considering. I'd kiss you again but I'm kind of damp."

Burgundia settled down to carefully paint Soho's toenails. "You'll meet someone you like, even if it's not what you expected," she said primly, though privately glowing at the recommendation that Soho's future partner had to be as 'fun' as her. "Love does take its own time. I'm sure you'll meet some decent young ma... feien who'll treat you well. In fact, it's a definite."

"Oh, I do hope so. But until then I can cuddle with you, right?" She asked, leaning in and wrapping her arms around her sister.

Silva raised an eyebrow, then shook his head. "Probly best if you didn't, darlin." He said cryptically, turning off the faucet. "Shouldn't you be getting back to the others?"

"Of course," Burgundia murmured, heart pretty much molten slag in the face of Soho. She wrapped one arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to her side. "I'll always cuddle if you want, you know. I'm your big sister and I do love you everso."

"Probably!" Marne shook her hair like a dog, then proceeded to finger comb it. "I'm sort of hoping that if I wait long enough Burgundia'll come out; I don't want her to be upset again that I broke in on her and Soho. She told me off for coming into the house without permission, too. So I'll dry off. Do you mind if I do? Thanks for helping me with the sink, I'm way better with my feet than I am with my hands."

Silva shook his head. "I doubt it matters." He said finally, not really saying which question he was answering. "But I think I'll go check on her." He said, taking to the air. There was a rag across from the sink for her to use, he didn't bother to mention it.

He headed down the hall, twitching as he heard the sound of a flute being played from the second bedroom. But he wasn't about to go towards it.

Soho sighed, then pulled away. "Now we need music!"

"What kind of music do you want?" Burgundia was industriously packing the paint away, so as to avoid any more spills. "Put some on, if you like. It's just like we're havin' a sleepover. All we need now are some... what do you call 'em... chick flicks?"

Soho nodded, heading for the stereo system and pushing a random button. Music came from the speakers that were hanging from the corners. It was mild for her, a soundtrack from one of the animes that Ice watched called Love Hina.

"I've got some of those!" Soho said happily.

"But we're not going to watch them." Silva said as he came out. "Your... sister's a bit of a spaz, Dee." He said before heading for the kitchen to get food.

The Love Hina theme was inoffensively peppy; Burgundia relaxed. (Considering her favourite music of choice was Vivaldi and Strauss, hard rock generally just bewildered her senses.)

"She gets into everything," Dee sighed. "Holy God. - Ruby, you know, I was thinkin'; you should come over to my house, too, on account of Rose wanting to meet you. Maybe I could steal you away from Cousin Silva and Cousin Aleric for a night, you could sleep over. I'd right like to measure you, too; I've been altering some of Rose's doll things, I'd love to make you something."

"Dress up? We could play dress up??" Soho said. "I would love to!"

"Wait a second..." Silva said, coming out with a cherry in his hand. "I let her go over for the night, how do I know your sister won't do... things to her?"

"Things?" Soho repeated blankly.

"Believe me when I say that I would die willingly before I ever let Ruby come to the littlest bit of harm," Burgundia said, drawing her up. "From anyone. Marne is... Well, she's Marne; but she does what she's told. Rose will look after her, that's for certain. Really now, Cousin Silva, you know I'd look after her just as much as you would yourself." Probably with the same amount of obsessive violence.

"Things?" Unfortunately, Marne had gotten tired of patiently scrubbing her hair dry, and had wandered up the hall behind Silva. "Things! Wicked. Hey, Dee, I'll wait for you outside, 'kay? Soho, let's totally go on a date Tuesday! We can sneak into a movie theater! I saw that on TV! In the back row, if you know what I mean!"

Soho was blown a number of kisses before the crystal feien zipped out again. Dee massaged her temples a second time, harder.

Silva just looked at Dee, chewing on his toothpick and raising his eyebrow.

"Movies!" Soho said, hopping to her feet. "I want to go to the movies! We could see something romantic!! Or violent or funny, or--"

"Or all three! Whatever you like best! Rock'n'roll!" And the voice was gone.

"She doesn't even know what that means," Burgundia protested, though it was more I hope she doesn't than I know as singular solid fact she doesn't. "Besides, I'll be with her all the time. And she's far too little to go on a, a date without a cha-per-one. So is Marne."

"Alright..." Silva said. "I'll trust you this time, Dee. Don't screw me over."

"YAY!!" Soho said, bouncing up and down and clapping her hands. "then let's go before he changes his mind!" she finished, grabbing Dee's hand and tugging. "Let's go! let's go!"

"I won't be taking her anywhere near a bear, Cousin Silva," Burgundia said prissily, and rose with Soho's hand. She also picked up her dropped piece of black fabric. "Please do give my love to Cousin Aleric. You'll get her back safe and sound tomorrow mornin'; I solemnly swear that. Let's go before it gets dark, Ruby. It's surely not too far."

"Bye Mister Silva Demon!" Soho said as she tugged Dee towards the door.

Silva just snorted and watched them go.

It was important, when one was going on a journey, to have Provisions. Burgundia watched in more than a little dismay and horror as Marne packed her Provisions in a Hello Kitty handkerchief which served as a sort of hobo's backpack: a Barbie cup filled with Lush Lip Service lipbalm, a couple of toothpicks and the little piece of paper that Dee had made her with glitter stickers and painful calligraphy of John 3:16. There was also a long piece of string. Rose also hovered over the entire thing with a matching expression to Burgundia's.

"I'll be fine," Marne said dismissively, knotting the handkerchief over her shoulders. "I'll live off the land. I also have a couple strips of Xtra Sugarfree gum, I mean, that's more than Jack from 24 gets when he's fighting terrorists."

"I knew I shouldn't have let you watch so much TV," her bond worried. "It's put ideas in your head. Marnie, are you sure you don't want me to - "

"Nope!" the feien said cheerfully. "I'm the Lone Ranger on this one. Just me, the wilderness, that kind of thing."

"You're going to get eaten by a wild animal," said Burgundia.

"It's gonna rock."

"You're going to get lost and die," said Burgundia.

"California calls, don't wait supper."

Rose's bottom lip trembled as she moved to eye level with the tiny redhead. "Marnie, you have to keep safe, okay? I'm going to worry about you. Don't forget to eat! Don't talk to strangers. Don't pat anything that's bigger than you. Call for help if you want help. Remember, I can always come out and get you - "

Marne moved forward to kiss Rose noisily on the mouth to head off any other dire warnings, before putting her arms around her big sister and kissing over her cheeks. "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dee! I love you both!"

She moved to the windowsill, stopped there heroically, and finished with the not-too-impressive last words: "Remember to tape Passions for me!"

And then she was gone.

Rose and Burgundia watched where she'd been - rather glumly - and Rose let out a quavering little sigh.

"There goes my baby," she said.

"She's going to get bitten by a spider," said Burgundia, and that was that.

Marne's good mood lasted about two hours. She took off her backpack and spent the first hour rolling around in the sand and making tiny Feien sandcastles, a villa, a sandcastle Barbie Dream House, a sand Feien angel; she ran into the breakers and shrilled and ran out again, as the foam snapped at her bare feet. She skipped around in the wet sand and paddled a bit, too afraid of the huge wide expanse to go further - she'd only swum in Rose's sink before, in warm and perfumed water, singing bathtub tunes for Rose's appreciation, and Rose was always gratifying to sing to. The sea was too big, too cold, and too wet.

She dried herself on the warm, dry sand, kicking it off her toes, and got distracted by shells before she decided to go and perhaps find the ominous rock tower. Obviously, since she had found a beach, this would be easy; she would just take off, search around a bit, and then -

It was about an hour of this that Marne found out the sad truth: a coastline is made up of beaches.

"I give up," she said, to the deepening dusk, and the other side of the beach - stretching along to rocks, and more beach, and more beach and more beach, as far as the eye could see. "I give up. I'll never do this if I live to be a thousand years. I am undone."

She lay back, took off her sunglasses so that she could stare as the cool stars came out - and the water lapped up to her feet, up to her calves, swallowing her slowly whole as the time came in. She felt more than a little bit sorry for herself; and disappointed in herself, that there was so much beach and not enough Marne, and generally dispirited that life did not hand things to her on a platter by Malibu Barbie. She spread her wings and arms out; she floated; she was carried out to the shallows and kicked her legs a bit with her wet red hair swirling around her cheeks, and cheered herself up with the thought that she resembled the Little Mermaid a lot.

"Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun - "

"You make a lot of noise," said a voice near her head, and at this Marne swallowed a lot of seawater and deigned to drown. After a while, she spluttered and rolled over to paddle dog-style, swinging her limp wet hair out of her face, to stare at whatever had talked.

There was more than one. There were three of them, and at first she thought they were jellyfish - but they were clear, small women, with fish-tails like mermaids and the slightest tinge of green to their hair and blush to their cheeks. They were about as big as Cabbage Patch dolls, with beady and dispassionate eyes, and they stared at her.

"You - " (Marne spit out some water, much to their disgust) " - you're so cool! What are you? You look awesome! Are you sea creatures? Are you magical? Do you know the Little Mermaid? Do you know Sea'n'Surf Barbie? How come I never saw you on the National Geographic? Do you want to be my girlfriends?"

"We are naiads," said the second.

"You talk too much," said the first, again.

"I think she is a fish," said the third. "I think she has an air bladder. Look; she has fins."

"Those do not look like fins," said the first. "Those look like bat-parts."

"They're fins," argued the third.

"She has an air bladder, she floats," said the second. "She is a fish; we can eat her."

"Hold on, ladies," said Marne. "They're wings, and I am so not part of your average diet, I would give you all the worst gas and did I mention I am made solely of mega-carbs? I am not in the Atkins diet. Let's do stuff instead! I mean, unless you're hideously evil - "

"Wings," said the first naiad. "She's a sprite - "

" - or a sylph - "

"She is a creature of the air," the second said finally. "The sylphs have changed. They visit us seldom."

"It has red on it; yet it's not a will'o'wisp."

"What have you found?"

This was a new voice, and Marne found herself momentarily speechless as a much bigger head bobbed out of the water. This was big, huge, enormous; the size of a human, clear as the water that came out of Rose's tap, the forehead wreathed with seaweed and pearls. What passed for hair was foam and bubbles, waving in a constant tide high above the creature's head, like the froth on the tops of the waves. The naiads clambered forward, as if for her favour, swimming around her hands and doing cartwheels in the water as they clambered in many voices to tell her many things about Marne, mainly which seemed to involve Marne's bladder, which she found both rude and rather kinky. She made a mental note to tell everyone when she got back: water things are kinky!

"Beb'lia, it's - "

"Beb'lia, we - "

"Beb'lia, I - "

The water-woman seemed to take very little notice of the gambolling naiads, who had turned from cruel and cold into playful and gay the moment that she had appeared. She raised one watery hand to quiet them; and then she looked at Marne.

"She is not a sylph," Beb'lia said, and her voice was cold and disdainful. "She is not an air creature. She is a fairy. - Where did you come from, fairy? Who do you serve? I have not seen your kind in a century; not one hair, or hide, nor any thing."

"I'm not a fairy," said Marne. "I'm a feien. There's a taxiological scientarfic difference, and I'm living proof."

Beb'lia looked as if this did not interest her much. "Have you come here to die, then?"

"No," said the crystal feien. "I'm pretty healthy. I Jazzercise."

"You are foolish, and I grow tired of that," said Beb'lia. "Nonetheless, that is how fairies are. Such are all of those from the Courts. State your business, fairy, the seas are harsh to those who crawl into it unwittingly. You may not reek of mortal flesh, but the saltwater has never been choosy - "

"I'm here for a quest," Marne announced, a little hurriedly; Beb'lia's clear, horrid eyes had narrowed in a way that reminded her more than a little bit of Burgundia the time that she had asked her big sister if Jesus was her boyfriend. "I'm looking for - hey, maybe you girls will know it; it's this O.R.S, that's short for Ominous Rock Structure, it'll be big - to me - and kind of unnatural. There's supposed to be something in it, I'd remember only the last time I ate was ten hours ago, belonging to somebody called Aquine, I'd be hugely thankful if you could tell me anything about it..."

There was barely a ripple as the three naiads huddled together in the cooling dim to whisper, with small and bubbly voices. One of them then - with exquisite gentleness and deference - touched the water-woman's arm; she leant down with more tenderness than Marne thought Beb'lia had in her, and listened to her whisper.

"It is lucky for you you found us in the shallows to-day," she finally said, after the naiad had finished. "We are usually in deeper waters. - We know where this thing is; it is old, and not made by men or the rocks. However, we do nothing without being paid. That is the rule."

"You could give us one of your legs," one of the naiads suggested idly. "Who needs legs?"

"Ariel in The Little Mermaid," said Marne. "Hold on just a second."

She waded out to the shore; she ran to her Hello Kitty handkerchief-sack and quickly undid all the knots with wet and impatient fingers. She felt sticky and salty and cold with a mixture of exasperation and excitement; they knew! They knew! She wasn't going to have to die or go to Hollywood and become a B-movie star like John Wayne!

The naiads swam to the shore, and - now it was dark - lit up with a sort of slow, gleaming phosphorescence, so that they could see, and Beb'lia leant her elegant self on a rock and held out one hand until the water around them lit up like starlight. Marne could see now that she really was a water-woman; she had long legs and she was naked, as if she was a mould that the sea had been poured into, and more seaweed girdled around her hips. Water things are also nudists, she made a mental note to tell Soho.

At first she offered them her toothpicks, but the naiads made disgusted noises and she put them back. She then showed them her Lush lipbalm, but they all seemed uninterested. They momentarily eyed the Hello Kitty handkerchief when she pulled it apart and dragged it over like a big sail, but eventually shook their heads; in terrible existential despair, Marne took the Barbie sunglasses off her head, and offered that. They still shook their heads.

"But I don't have anything else," she cried out, "except John Forty-Eight, and he's my most precious possession. My sister made him for me with butterfly glitter stickers."

"Then you'll never find the tower," said the second naiad. "You'll be eaten by sharks."

"Or a whale," said the first.

"Or us," said the third.

Marne shook her hands in the air until they were dry. She felt bereft, but picked up the piece of paper that Dee had written out for her so carefully, and showed it to the three watergirls. They looked bored as ever, and she couldn't decide if she was upset or relieved - but then Beb'lia, who had been watching the proceedings in silence, slipped down from her rock and leant her cold head forward to read the miniscule writing. She smelled like salt and storms, and Marne had to suppress a shudder.

"'John 3:16,'" Beb'lia read. "'For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.'"

Unexpectedly, after reading this, the water-woman threw her head back and gave a long peal of bitter laughter. "Give it to me, fairy," she said. "It means nothing to you."

"It means a lot to my sister," mumbled Marne, but puzzled and a little bit intrigued, she set the piece of paper into the water. "So it means a lot to me, too, because I do love her; I love her so much. She's the only sister I have." She watched morosely as the ink ran on the paper and the glitter stickers curled; one of the naiads was hugging the crumpled thing to her chest. "I love her even when she didn't let me drink that Absolut Kurant. So it means a helluva lot."

"It meant something to me, once," said Beb'lia. "If only as a warning; for it was then that I had a mortal soul. I will take it as payment."

It was obvious she could not touch it; but she cupped it in the current of her hands as the smallest naiad passed it to her, and it disappeared in a thousand tiny wet fragments in her fingers. After a while, nearly pensive, she pulled her hands away; the sea dimmed into darkness once more, and she started walking back into the the water.

"Show her the tower, my daughters," the water-woman said, the water rising, arms to shoulders and her chin. "Goodbye, fairy. We will never meet again."

"Bye, and thanks a bunch forever!" called out Marne, slipping her sunglasses to push the wet crimson hair back on her forehead. "Rock'n'roll!"

But Beb'lia had already sunk out of sight.

Rose and Burgundia (the former of whom was ready to do an Amber Alert, and the second of whom had upped her prayers to three times a day) - about three weeks later, were sitting on the bed; the human girl was rather limply reading a First Aid book, which Burgundia thought a bad choice, as she herself stretched out on Rose's hip and attempted to get some beauty sleep. (The quality of Burgundia's beauty sleep had, in the past while, not been good. There were deep circles under her eyes.)

"Hey!" said a voice from the windowsill, shattering the rather uncomfortable silence. "Hey, I'm home! I did it! I'm not dead! Did you guys hold a funeral for me? I'm Marne Indiana Jones! I'm back! I took an airplane back! I got airsick on the way! My ears popped like WHOA; I'm sorry I took so long, there were buses and sunglasses and creepy water things and my nails are all ugh, and I missed you soooo-oooo much!"

At this, on the windowsill, Marne - with two black eyes, any number of cuts, and a loaded Hello Kitty parcel, dramatically fainted.

"Well," said Burgundia philosophically, sitting on the edge of the bed as Rose made a great fuss out of the limp crystal feien and cuddled her to her bosom and cried loudly and all kinds of things - as she herself wiped her eyes - "we must praise God."

"Woo," said Marne, half-unconscious. And that was that.

Marne Lukas-Hein got out her feather quill, helpfully chewed it a little, and then began writing on her pretty green paper:



Thoroughly bored with diary-writing, she put the paper away.

Recent events.



Door is simply the account of Rose leaving, with little mention of our heroine. She has yet to return. Marne is still sheltering at Ice's house, which she apparently regards as "awesome-land".