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Reply 12. ✿ - - - Journal Writings
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D1RTY C3X C3LL

PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 3:20 pm


This here bit of pixel-space is designated for my rants. I claim it to be so, therefore it shall be.

___________________________________________________________


April 4, 2011.

I wake up feeling quite alright, but at 7:30 or so, my tooth starts bothering me. I don't think anything of it, really--I just thought I had something caught in it. It still didn't feel any better after I flossed, but I shrugged it off. No biggy.

As the day wears on, my tooth just hurts more and more and my mouth just begins to swell. Half way into Spanish, I begin to taste blood. Nearly two hours later in Science class, the pain has become unbearable and I'm ready to knock myself out. But I settle to go to the nurse instead.

That. ********. b***h.

First she totally forgets I'm there and ushers in a guy who just needed some damn food, then the next girl says a simple, "I don't feel good," and she's sent home. My turn and I say, "My tooth hurts really badly."

The woman gives me a Does-It-Look-Like-Give-A-s**t look and then sighs and asks me what I want her to do about it. At this point I'm so close to tears when I tell her to call my mom. Right when she's about to ask me the phone number, a Science teacher comes in holding a newly hatched duckling, crooning about how cute he was. What does the nurse do? She shoves the phone at me, nearly knocking it off her desk, grabs the duck and walks out the damn room.

No big. I can call my mom myself.

Except that there's a code you have to punch in before the number to make it work.

The woman had me standing there for ten damn agonizing minutes fumbling with the ******** phone alone crying my eyes out because I was in so much pain.

When she gets back, she kicks me out of the room because another ill student's mother had come and they needed to take care of her. [I wasn't really mad at this--the girl was really bad off and needed to be taken to the hospital. I just hated it when the nurse sank her claws into my shoulders and practically shoved me out the damn room.]

Finally I'm called back in and she demands to know what my mom said. I told her that she didn't tell me how to work the phone. She throws me an irritated glance before grabbing the phone and asking for the number. I start listing the digits when she cuts me off and tells me to "hold on." A few seconds later she tells me to start, and I do, giving her the area code. She cuts me off and asks if it's far off. I tell her no. She hangs up the phone, saying she didn't need the code, and makes me start all over. My tooth was making it hard to talk, but I gave her the number. It doesn't work, and, lo and behold, she does need the area code to make the phone call go through. Again I have to say it. Normally this is the part where the nurse talks to your parent, but she shoved the phone at me and told me to talk to her myself.

By this time, I'm at my breaking point. I'm tired, stressed out, and in a lot of pain. Does this nurse care? Of course not.

After the phone call, the nurse is fixing an icepack. Now, the significance of this is that she makes one for everybody. Head hurt? Here's an icepack. Throwing up? Here's an icepack. Sprain an ankle? Here's an icepack. On your period and you thnk you're dying from the tremendous pain of cramps? Here's an icepack. Enjoy.
Well, once she's finished, she holds it out to me in the same hand as my note, but she drops it onto the floor. She doesn't make any move to pick it up, so I kneel down and get it myself. As soon as I come up, she says, "That isn't for you."

. . .

Seriously? This woman gives out icepacks like they're going out of style to anyone with any sort of ailment, but she can't give me one when I need it the most? ******** stingy old hag. Keep your damn ice. I hope you freeze to death.

Finally my mom came and picked me up. After a few minutes of threatening to go thrash the nurse, Mom listens to me and drives off. I go to the dentist and my third molar is tearing at my gums and trying to come out. The tissue is inflamed and, after a lot of painful prodding and poking, I'm on heavy medication. Tomorrow I'm going for a consultation and most likely going to have to go into surgery to have all four of my third molars taken out.

I swear the next time I go to that nurse and she treats me like I'm s**t, I'm going to knock all the teeth out from her skull.
PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:40 pm


April 4, 2011

Just woke up. I looked in the mirror and it looks as though I've just crawled out of a crack den.

Hair heavily disheveled, my eyes are red and dilated from the meds, and I can barely form a proper and coherent thought.

I'm going back to sleep.

D1RTY C3X C3LL


D1RTY C3X C3LL

PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:58 am


April 22, 2011


My mom is really pissing me off.


It's just the way she talks to me--I never hear a "please," or "thank you," anymore. She commands me about and talks to me like I'm a dog that just s**t on the carpet. I ******** hate her.


She used to be my hero who protected me from my dad's rages, but now she's no better than he is. At least Dad has calmed down some and has given me space, but Mom seems to have picked up the slack and is harassing me now more than ever.


She acts like I'm ungrateful. Is it too much to at least pretend to ask me to do a chore? She bitches and complains about how she goes to work and comes home to a dirty house. That's a ******** exaggeration, but I know that she's tired after work. I just want her to take it into consideration that I'm tired after school and I would like a break, too.


My school, to put it simply, is s**t. People are pushy and rude, there's always someone being put into handcuffs and taken to the office, and it's exhausting to have to put up with those people. Fights are always starting, our new principal is a lying, no-good pervert, and the teachers simply don't give a s**t about the students so long as they get paid.


When I get home, I don't want to do anything. I'm too tired, too upset, too stressed out to want to do anything. I just want to lay down and sleep, but of course I can't do that without my mom breathing down my back.


I just want to be left alone. I can't wait to get out of this house so I never have to see my family ever again.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:45 pm


April 23, 2011


Today I'm not all that mad, but it still irritates me.


So, I've got one demonic cousin [Christopher] that me and my sister have been feuding with since the beginning of time. He's two years younger than me and he is irritating as hell. He lies all the time, and mostly for no good reason besides the fact that he can. Everything about him gets on my damn nerves. The way he looks--tall, blonde hair blue-eyed with a neanderthal-like forehead, bulgy, et cetera; how he acts--rude, jerk-offish, terrible, habitual liar, and the worst of all : his voice. It's high-pitched. Not terribly so, but enough to grate on your ears and wish you were deaf.


Now, today was the day that my family went to my grandparents' house to visit, and Uncle Chris and Aunt Susan brought the demon-spawn Christopher with them. Erin [my sister] and I weren't planning on doing anything to him; we just wanted to get the day over with quick as possible. We sat in the dining room while he took over the living room. No biggie. We kept the lights off while we talked--I hate bright rooms because they give me Tokyo-sized headaches.


But then the little bugger decided to come in, switch the light on by the storage room, get icecream, and leave it on. When he was about to leave, I went over to switch it off, but I didn't know that there was another set of light-switcher-onners that controlled the lights as well. That little a*****e, as soon as I flipped that switch, flipped the lights back on and ran off to the living room. Later, he lied to Susan about offering icecream to us--which is a small offense, I understand, but it pisses me off that he gets away with that s**t.


I don't understand why he just won't quit being an a*****e and leave us the ******** alone. But, I won't lie to you, Rant Journal, we were major assholes back, and it was hilarious. We win again.

D1RTY C3X C3LL


D1RTY C3X C3LL

PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 6:16 pm


April 29, 2011


Ever wish that you were an only child? I sure as hell do.


My sister is the biggest b***h in my life and I wish she would get the hell out of the house and go to college already. I never want to see her again.


There are times that she's nice, sure, but the bad far outweighs the good. One minute she's nice and the big sister that I want her to be, then next she's off in a snit, calling me names and screaming at me. It's always my fault. I did this, I did that. Blah blah ******** blah. She's just like my dad--she's right, you're wrong. No matter what you say, it doesn't matter. You're inferior and you're a big ******** idiot for thinking otherwise.


I hate her for it. She may not believe me when I say that, but, oh, I do, I do.


Why can't she listen to me when I try to explain? It's not like I go out of my way to piss her off.


I can't wait until I'm gone out of this s**t-hole and don't have to see anyone here ever again.
PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2011 4:10 pm


May 2, 2011


I'm such a dipshit.


I finally like a guy and I ******** blow it.


He's a good friend of mine, and I think he likes me, too, but then I completely avoid him. When I see him, I panic and run away. I know he's noticed and I ******** hate it that he's stopped trying to talk to me. It kills me everytime I see him in the damn hallways and his eyes are trailed on the floor so he doesn't have to look at me. I feel like s**t. But I can't just go up to him and say, "Hey there, Darren. I know you think I hate you by the way I avoid you and ignore you and won't look you in the eye, but that's not the case, 'cause, you know, I've got the hots for you. Oh, yeah, and did I forget to mention that I just wanna do the whole proverbial eat-each-others-face-thing with you? It's totally true, dude. Now, I gotta get going before I'm late to my Spanish class. Mind giving me a hug like you used to do to send me on my way?"


Dammit. I ******** hate myself.

D1RTY C3X C3LL


D1RTY C3X C3LL

PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 4:21 pm


June 02, 2011


My friend [lets call her 'K'] had a pregnancy scare today. Even though I pretended to be nervous, I was furious. I couldn't believe her. The pure audacity and selfishness of that girl I'll never understand.


Her idiot of a boyfriend cheated on her, dumped her, and told her that he just wasn't, "feeling it between them anymore." What kind of douchebag does that, gets a new girlfriend a short while later, then still flirts with his newly dumped ex? Really?


Oh, but what's way worse is that he goes and takes my friend's virginity after they've broken up and he's dating that other girl. Oh, but K just doesn't care. She's head over heels for that idiot. She chased him around for months to get him to date her, to dump his girlfriend for her. I just knew that it was going to happen to her too, but did she listen to me? Nooo. K just wants whatever the hell she fancies and she doesn't care who she has to hurt.


The girl before her? Who cares if they were friends? Nope. K wanted the boy, so K got the boy. They date for a couple of months, he cheats on her and breaks it off. Oh, how K moped and moped. She whined and griped about him and how she was just going to "move on with her life." But when her boy called, she came running. She dated another guy and cheated on that guy with the idiot ex. A sweet, caring guy who didn't deserve to be hurt by her twice.


It kills me that K doesn't care who she has to hurt. I resent her for it. She'll go spread her legs for her lover boy whenever he so wishes.


I just want to take her by her shoulders and shake her. If he loved you so much, why did it take him months to commit? If he loved you half as much as he says he does, why did he cheat on you? If he loved you a fraction of what I cared for you, how come he'll tell you sweet things but won't break things off with his current girl?


Think. Use your brain. You gave up your virginity to some loser because you think he loves you. He doesn't give a s**t about you.


I wish you wouldn't let your low self-esteem affect you like this. Listen to those who really love you: send him packing.
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:27 am


June 23, 2011


I hate my sister. I hate her I hate her I ******** hate her.



My life would be so much better if she didn't exist. Day in and day out, I have to listen to her put me down. She is making my depression worse and all of her constant bitching makes me want to kill myself.



I wish she never existed. I wish I were the older sister so I could make her feel like s**t and like she's the useless one. I want her to feel like I have been feeling all these years. I want her to feel like she's invisible. I want her to feel like she's drowning and that there's no one to help her. Just once, I would like her to know how it feels to be me.

D1RTY C3X C3LL

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12. ✿ - - - Journal Writings

 
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