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Cravings

While I was sitting on your bed
I couldn't help but stare at you.
I felt like a child compared to you.
Vulnerable,
Inoccent,
Clueless.
Completly unaware of what was supposed to happen,
though deep down I knew what was going to happen.
When my mouth opens itself to speak
nothing comes out.
It's like someone cut out my vocal cordes
without letting me know.
I don't think I could have
screamed
for help if I wanted to.
My eyes are glued to your body,
wandering up
and down
like the way I usually scan the pages of a book.
Just here I am much more thorough,
I want to memorize very inch of your skin,
taste every ounce of your blood,
count every strand of hair.
And at the same time
I would have traded anything in
to forget it all.
I don't mean to insult you,
no,
I really don't.
But my breath is growing ragged
slowly
as if I'm being smoothered by fumes.
Though it's merly your scent that I am breathing in.
Awkwardly I shift around,
my foot is falling asleep,
my morals are falling asleep.
You know that people aren't lying when they say
lust
is a sin.
It is a horribly wonderful feeling,
that turns the best humans into animals,
more vile then alcohol and drugs.
And sweeter then honey.
If I had the choice
I would have stopped this madness
I think
I think I would have
I wish I would have.