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 Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:47 am
I really thought we would have moved past this s**t, since now I thought men want educated women and women who they could have intellectual conversations with. Women who can raise smart kids. Then I see this: Quote: Sounds like you and your cousin are much smarter than I am!!! Im surprised I'm able to find my way home!!!! Actually I take that back because if it wasnt for my husband right now I probably WOULDNT find my way home!! LOL!! Yes, "lol" at the fact if it wasn't for your husband you'd be an incompetent moron who couldnt find their way home. stare
Is acting like an idiot still cute?
What possesses a female to do this? The fear of being a spinster?
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:48 pm
Sadly, there are still areas where intelligence isn't considered desirable in a mate. When I lived in Virginia any time I expressed anything that wasn't giggling and twirling my hair or just agreeing with the "man in the room" I got "punished" for not being a vapid moron. I've even been marginalized in college towns in my home state...luckily it was just pockets of either rednecks or punks who were so hypocritical it was sad (I'll address some of my criticisms of the punk scene on another date).
Lots of it stems from the idea that they'll feel inadequate in some way constantly. I've seen this in both sexes, so it's not an issue of emasculating but rather superiority issues prevalent in at least American culture.
As a note: without any context it sounds like the person in question was trying to joke.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 2:06 pm
4shi Sadly, there are still areas where intelligence isn't considered desirable in a mate. When I lived in Virginia any time I expressed anything that wasn't giggling and twirling my hair or just agreeing with the "man in the room" I got "punished" for not being a vapid moron. I've even been marginalized in college towns in my home state...luckily it was just pockets of either rednecks or punks who were so hypocritical it was sad (I'll address some of my criticisms of the punk scene on another date). . Where did you live in Virginia? I live there now, and none of that has happened 0_0 of course, I don't live in the south and we have no rednecks so that may be it as well...
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:39 pm
Even in college, I can't tell you how many otherwise intelligent girls drop half their IQ and stay away from big words when they talk because people- especially boys- don't like smart girls. It's one of the many double standards that I don't think will ever disappear from our culture. Smart boys are successful. Smart girls are snotty. Strong men are confident. Strong women are cold. Assertive men are leaders. Assertive girls are bitchy.
I'm learning this the hard way at the expense of my sad, dying dating life. I'm intelligent, emotionally stable, and secure as an individual, which is exactly what guys my age say they want. But apparently what they really mean to say is dumb, needy, and generally incompetent. Maybe it's too much to ask for him to find a way to feel like a man that isn't dating some giggling idiot that he can feel superior to...
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:10 pm
Pandora the Wonderful 4shi Sadly, there are still areas where intelligence isn't considered desirable in a mate. When I lived in Virginia any time I expressed anything that wasn't giggling and twirling my hair or just agreeing with the "man in the room" I got "punished" for not being a vapid moron. I've even been marginalized in college towns in my home state...luckily it was just pockets of either rednecks or punks who were so hypocritical it was sad (I'll address some of my criticisms of the punk scene on another date). . Where did you live in Virginia? I live there now, and none of that has happened 0_0 of course, I don't live in the south and we have no rednecks so that may be it as well... I lived in Central Virginia. I will say it was much better in Charlottesville (sp?) than other places I experienced, but even in Virginia Beach I had some issues. brainnsoup
I'm learning this the hard way at the expense of my sad, dying dating life. I'm intelligent, emotionally stable, and secure as an individual, which is exactly what guys my age say they want. But apparently what they really mean to say is dumb, needy, and generally incompetent. Maybe it's too much to ask for him to find a way to feel like a man that isn't dating some giggling idiot that he can feel superior to...
Your experience has been similar to mine with dating. I've found the guys who say that are really looking for someone that lets them do whatever they want and agree with whatever they say. Luckily I did find a guy who truly wanted me for me. In the even the relationship does end, though, I'm done with dating and relationships mostly for that reason. That said, women can be the same way. I've smacked a few upside the head who say they want someone who's smart and stable when they're really looking for a male version of themselves.
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 7:07 am
brainnsoup Even in college, I can't tell you how many otherwise intelligent girls drop half their IQ and stay away from big words when they talk because people- especially boys- don't like smart girls. It's one of the many double standards that I don't think will ever disappear from our culture. Smart boys are successful. Smart girls are snotty. Strong men are confident. Strong women are cold. Assertive men are leaders. Assertive girls are bitchy.
I'm learning this the hard way at the expense of my sad, dying dating life. I'm intelligent, emotionally stable, and secure as an individual, which is exactly what guys my age say they want. But apparently what they really mean to say is dumb, needy, and generally incompetent. Maybe it's too much to ask for him to find a way to feel like a man that isn't dating some giggling idiot that he can feel superior to... Hey, guys have to do it too. The goal in today's society is to be as much like a gorilla as possible. Diminish your critical thinking skills, your use of language, your intellect. Women don't want a smart guy, they want football players who might be able to eek out a complete sentence after a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast. Smart guys get nothing. Our society has built a standard of being a stupid, passive sheep who lives only to buy and consume. I wonder who this standard empowers?
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 7:25 am
I have heard that women who have pursued college degrees and are successful in a career tend to make men act like boys. The man tries to act completely childish to try and impress the woman, because like Brainnsoup said, smart women are snotty.
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 8:21 pm
divineseraph brainnsoup Even in college, I can't tell you how many otherwise intelligent girls drop half their IQ and stay away from big words when they talk because people- especially boys- don't like smart girls. It's one of the many double standards that I don't think will ever disappear from our culture. Smart boys are successful. Smart girls are snotty. Strong men are confident. Strong women are cold. Assertive men are leaders. Assertive girls are bitchy.
I'm learning this the hard way at the expense of my sad, dying dating life. I'm intelligent, emotionally stable, and secure as an individual, which is exactly what guys my age say they want. But apparently what they really mean to say is dumb, needy, and generally incompetent. Maybe it's too much to ask for him to find a way to feel like a man that isn't dating some giggling idiot that he can feel superior to... Hey, guys have to do it too. The goal in today's society is to be as much like a gorilla as possible. Diminish your critical thinking skills, your use of language, your intellect. Women don't want a smart guy, they want football players who might be able to eek out a complete sentence after a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast. Smart guys get nothing. Our society has built a standard of being a stupid, passive sheep who lives only to buy and consume. I wonder who this standard empowers?
I would say, "more nice guys for me", but they're chasing the dumb girls too. :b
Our culture encourages stupidity and entitlement in everyone, and anyone who doesn't fit that description is weird, but women get praised for being stupid and helpless. For example, I know that if I get lost, or have to turn something in late, or can't figure out how to do something for a class, if I just put on the sad puppy eyes and sound incompetent, I can eventually get someone else to do everything for me without having to do any actual work. I think it's something in our culture that says it's noble to save a damsel in distress. I think girls learn early on that it's an easy way to get immediate attention and help and learn that they'll never have to be resourceful. But it also means that smart, competent, autonomous women are resented.
"She's not willing to act like a dependent child, so she must think she's better than us..."
I think this is a unconscious judgment held by men and women by the way.
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:45 pm
See, I neither grew up around that mentality nor had the misfortune to encounter it once I seriously started looking to date. My parent's were pretty much on even footing all around and we were encouraged to be who and what we were, no matter what others though. Right now I have a boyfriend who's incredibly intelligent and sweet and appreciates my intelligence and and my self confidence. It's very difficult for me to understand this mentality on either side.
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 2:02 pm
I always wanted to knock those girls across the room... I could not stand it! I remember one girl in paticular, she would act like an absolute moron, but of course, she put out! So all the guys would either tolerate her of like her. I can't say which it is because I hated her... I remember my one teacher would make so many mean comments about her to her face. Then one day she seriously asked out Spanish teacher what "taco" is in Spanish. I do not think any of the teachers tolerated her.
I have no clue what would make a woman act like this. It is simply beyond my understanding. And I do not understand how or why a guy would like a girl like that. Do they really want to take care of her for the rest of her life? Walk her around like a puppy and lead her home? I know guys want to be providers, but hell, this is babysitting.
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 2:06 pm
brainnsoup I'm learning this the hard way at the expense of my sad, dying dating life. I'm intelligent, emotionally stable, and secure as an individual, which is exactly what guys my age say they want. But apparently what they really mean to say is dumb, needy, and generally incompetent. Maybe it's too much to ask for him to find a way to feel like a man that isn't dating some giggling idiot that he can feel superior to...
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Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:59 pm
Smart is sexy, b'by! wink
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