Hello! First, to those who don't know, (Even though I think ALL of you probably know) my name is Shira. (Pronounced Shyruh.)

I created this topic so that we believers can share and swap testimonies!

I'll give mine. It will pretty much be the same as what's on my profile, but I may change some things because I could remember more as I read it again.

My Testimony

All my life I was raised in a "Christian household". My mother professed Christianity and my father... well, he didn't say much. He was on duty in the Navy most of the time, overseas. But as far as I knew, he believed in Christ. Things started to go downhill when my mother and father got a divorce.

Because of this, my mother, being a 'lonely woman' did many ungodly things. And in turn, my family started to follow suit. My Mother, brother and two sisters got into drugs and alcohol but I (by the grace of God) saw how foolish those things were and avoided them. But as the years came along, my life wasn't seeming as 'good' as I wanted to think it was. I was attracted or for lack of a better word, addicted, to hentai and I drew it as well. When I was 17 years old, I finally got to have internet for myself. (Before that internet was something I was able to get on mostly at school or at my grandmas house). With that much unsupervised internet access, I became more attracted to porn and on top of that, I found that internet dating was 'fun'.

My first internet boyfriend was a wiccan and bisexual, but of course, I thought I was in love so I tolerated that. But my spirit didn't feel right. He and I talked on the phone a lot and soon after, I was introduced to phone-sex (I'm sorry if this word disturbs anyone, if someone can think of a better word, I'd be glad to hear). Well, after a little while, my 'boyfriend' seemed to have stopped talking to me, so I went looking for a new one right away. While I didn't officially break up with my previous boyfriend, I found another one. (That means I cheated on my previous boyfriend) Well, things got worse with my new boyfriend. I started to get into cybering and doing bad things on the webcam. But of course, after 5 or so months, he cheated on me and I broke up with him but we got back together. Then I cheated on him, we broke up, then we got back together. Finally, I broke up with him for good.

The single life after that was but a short two weeks when I met my new 'beau'. Things seemed to have gone well with him. So about 8 months after talking with him over the internet, we met face to face for four days on his spring break, then I moved in with him and his family (He was 16 and I was 18 ). I thought he was the love of my life, he was my everything. (But during all of that young love, we still did bad things that I know God hates). About two-ish months later, he broke up with me and I became crushed.

At that time, I just said to myself that nothing mattered anymore. When that happened, I decided to harden my heart to the world and shut everyone out. And even though I was suicidal before, I was even worse now. Every time I saw a knife, I would look at it and wonder, "What if I just ended it right now? Would anyone care?". Such thoughts rang through my mind constantly. And more and more I would advance myself to suicide. It started by looking at the knife and wanting to end it. Then it turned to picking up the knife and wanting to end it. Then it was putting the knife to my wrist and wanting to end it. But, there was always something holding me back. That was fear, fear of God and hell. I was always told that suicide was a straight ticket to hell. (What I didn't know was that I was already on my way with the life I was living.)

Around that time also, I was getting deep into science and all the theories along with it. I would watch the science and discovery channel constantly and build up knowledge of all things that had to do with space and creation and geology and so-on. Not only that, I set myself on studying it as well. I was so into such theories that I even began to question God. Science seemed to have made more sense to me. But I still tried to hold onto whatever faith I had.

Around June 30th, my birthday, I went from Spokane (Where I was living at the time) to Montana to visit my mother. I had set up a small 'date' with an old school friend of mine who was an atheist.

At that point, I didn't think it mattered who I was going out with. I figured we are supposed to 'love' all people. My mother on the other hand, didn't approve. (She was a much better Christian at this time). Anyway, this guy and I spent a lot of time together this day, and things just didn't feel like normal to me. After he left, my mom told me how she was worried about me and I scoffed it away. I thought something like, "Wow, she's so annoying. I wish she would just leave me alone."

On Sunday that week, my mom invited me to church and I accepted. I figured it couldn't hurt to go one day, so I went (I also had a feeling like I should go also). The whole time I was there, the pastor who was speaking was talking about looking forward and expecting God to work in your life and trusting in his promises. It didn't seem to ring to loud to me but there was still something there because most of my life, my mom taught me the whole "Hellfire and Brimstone" thing. So when I heard the more loving side of God, it seemed more different than what I've been raised hearing.

Finally, the pastor called everyone up to the alter to pray. Normally I would've stayed behind and watched but I saw my mother go up and for some reason, I was compelled to go also. The pastor began to tell us to pray, asking God to forgive us and so I did. Then, he said, pray harder, and I did... but I was actually putting my spirit and heart into it, something about it was different. I had never done this before, to be in a group of people like this and praying to God. I started to whisper my prayers instead of just praying in my head and I poured my heart out to God. Suddenly, the Pastor spoke again, saying something like, there is evil in our presence, a demon, and in the name of Jesus Christ I cast it out! Then a strange feeling befell me. Like, all the weights of this world I carried, all of the pain and sorrow that had built itself up upon me just came off. I felt brand new! I was a new creation just as the Bible says! But even then, I still didn't know EXACTLY what happened to me. When I came home, all I wanted to do was praise God and thank him for what he had done. And ever since then, God has been working his way in me and helping me become more holy as I mature in Christ!