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 Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 10:09 pm
I'm not sure if this is in the right section or not, but anyways, onto a few details so you're not confused before I pop the question.
I'm nineteen (soon to be twenty) and have no experience with guys. At least, I HAD no experience with guys up until almost a month ago when I started dating a really sweet one. We've kissed and touched on top of clothes. The other day when I was at his place we were fooling around and one thing led to another and I decided I was ready to let him touch under my clothes, in my pants. That was great. But when it came time for me to make him happy, I could only bring myself to touch him over his underwear, and not even for very long until I got too embarrassed. A guy's body is completely new to me, and it does make me nervous. Especially those private parts that were always made to sound like such horrible places when I was little.
My question is, how common is this embarrassment? And other than taking things slow for my own comfort level, is there anything else I can do so that I do feel comfortable with touching him?
Thanks muchly.
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 7:43 am
It's very common to feel that kind of embarrassment and awkwardness when situations like that occur. I was with my ex boyfriend for two years and it felt weird to touch him when we would start messing around. It's like all your life you've had yourself, no protruding apparatus to deal with below the waist, and then you start dating a person who has aforementioned apparatus, and HELLO! So yeah, it's going to be a little weird just because it's something you're not used to.
What I can advise is to just go at your own pace. If you're comfortable at just touching him outside his underwear, then that's fine; keep doing that until you're comfortable enough to go farther.
I can also suggest that you can watch some porn to see how certain moves are done. When I was with my ex he always wanted to do oral sex and I didn't know how, so I would watch porn so I can see how it's done. I've never actually done it, but now I know how to if I ever do. Of course I'm not telling you to go down on him, it was just an example, lol. I don't know how you feel about porn or anything like that, so it's up to you to do that.
Hope that helps!
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 8:50 am
Like Riku said, it's very common to feel a bit embarrassed, or shy, or awkward at first. Be honest with your partner. Let him know that you've never done it before and don't really know what to do. It might help if you look at his p***s if you haven't had a good look at it before. He can show you how he touches himself or put his hand over yours and guide you. Riku is my Twin I can also suggest that you can watch some porn to see how certain moves are done. When I was with my ex he always wanted to do oral sex and I didn't know how, so I would watch porn so I can see how it's done. I've never actually done it, but now I know how to if I ever do. Most porn stars are more like actors than sex professionals. They often moan even when things don't feel good, and they often go way beyond the comfort level of most people. Because most porn is about turning on the viewer, not actually having a good time. When it comes to oral sex in porn, the guy is often pulling the woman's hair or she's gagging on his p***s. Now don't get me wrong, real people do those things too. But a lot of people wouldn't be comfortable with that, especially their first time. So it's ok to watch porn of course, just don't feel like you are obligated to do what you see in porn, and don't feel like you have to do things the same way that porn stars do them. Most women do not perform oral sex like a porn star does. Amateur porn is generally more realistic because then you're often watching people who are doing what they want to do and just happen to be taping it as well rather than watching "professional sex actors." But I still think the best way to learn is by communicating and experimenting with your partner. That way, you can easily stay in your comfort zone, you're doing things that your partner likes rather than things that some guy in a video likes, and you're actually paying attention to your partner rather than being distracted by trying to do it the same way a woman in a video did. Because sometimes people get so caught up thinking, "Ok, she did this....then she did it like this...." that they ignore their partner and don't even realize that their partner isn't really enjoying it!
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:17 pm
LorienLlewellyn Like Riku said, it's very common to feel a bit embarrassed, or shy, or awkward at first. Be honest with your partner. Let him know that you've never done it before and don't really know what to do. It might help if you look at his p***s if you haven't had a good look at it before. He can show you how he touches himself or put his hand over yours and guide you.
I do like your suggestion of having him put his hand over mine to help guide me. I was actually thinking of suggesting that for next time. It's just the embarrassment of it all that I need to get over. But each time he and I spend together we communicate more, even though it's still embarrassing for me.
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:11 pm
anime_freak_kouga LorienLlewellyn Like Riku said, it's very common to feel a bit embarrassed, or shy, or awkward at first. Be honest with your partner. Let him know that you've never done it before and don't really know what to do. It might help if you look at his p***s if you haven't had a good look at it before. He can show you how he touches himself or put his hand over yours and guide you.
I do like your suggestion of having him put his hand over mine to help guide me. I was actually thinking of suggesting that for next time. It's just the embarrassment of it all that I need to get over. But each time he and I spend together we communicate more, even though it's still embarrassing for me.Then it sounds like you're doing fine. 3nodding That's really good that you found someone who is understanding and patient, and that you both can communicate well with each other.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:17 pm
Though seems like this has already been answered and taken care of, I would just like to add some guys get embarrassed too. I do still, I will try to cover it up by talking though. Just try to strike conversation while doing it. Sexy conversation though xD Never mention ANYONE else during intercourse horrible idea. Don't know from experience but, I do know from friends. Pretty much it's about you and him, though one might not show it, it's a little awkward for both you.
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