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Cedrych

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 11:05 pm


Turn Away From Me

People never want to die
alone,
but do they ever stop to think
about who is there
to witness them
at their very worst?

I only want to pass away
with no watching eyes
or touching hands.
I refuse
to let my loved ones see me
in my final, humbling hour.
I'm too proud to die with friends.
I'm too scared to die with family.
I'm too worried my last words
will be testimony
to my legacy of shame.

I can't let them hear me
while I prepare for paradise or prison.
I can't let them see me
when my flesh undresses my spirit.

So, please, close your eyes and ears
and turn away from me.



((This one I might actually try to get published in a journal or magazine))

I've already revised this one several times, and gotten some feedback elsewhere. But still, most feedback will be widely appreciated.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 5:44 pm


I love it. So much.

"I'm too worried my last words
will be testimony
to my legacy of shame.

I can't let them hear me
while I prepare for paradise or prison.
I can't let them see me
when my flesh undresses my spirit. "

That section hit me the most.

baigais


Cedrych

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 11:03 pm


Thanks for commenting - I really appreciate it.

"I can't let them hear me
while I prepare for paradise or prison.
I can't let them see me
when my flesh undresses my spirit."

is the part I am most proud of. A lot of people have also been fond of that stanza as well.
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