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 Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 1:01 am
This isn't even really about me. It's my friend, and I know she'd kill me if she ever found out about me posting here.
She is one of the smartest, prettiest, funniest, most amazing all around people I've ever met.
And she hates herself.
I've tried to talk her through things. Every day there's something new. She cuts herself, attempted suicide, won't tell anyone what's wrong if she's upset. Her mom & I have tried to have her talk to a guidance counselor, get some help. And she just won't. She can't get over little things, and she knows. She says she doesn't want to be sad, but she won't try to get help or do anything. She makes herself feel worthless. She sends nude pictures to boys even if she doesn't want to. She lets them do things with her. Not sex, but, you know. I just want her to be happy, and love herself. But I can't do anything. I've tried, I stress so much everyday worrying about her. This isn't just hurting her anymore, it's her friends, her family. I just don't know what to do..
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:25 am
Often, when people are depressed, they find reasons to hate themselves, even if there's no reason. They don't see their own worth, so they do things that they shouldn't (like taking naked pictures) just because they don't care, or because they think they'd deserve the negative consequences.
As for talking to someone, many people with emotional issues are secretive. They tend not to want to burden others by pouring out their troubles, so to speak.
Also, most people in this kind of situation don't really realize how much they are hurting the ones around them. This boils down to low self-esteem. They often think that there is nothing worth loving about them, so no one could possibly love them enough to be hurt by their behavior.
I think the most important thing that you can do is let her know that you are there for her at any time, but also don't make her problems your problems. It doesn't do you or her any good to become a basket case, because nothing truly gets solved that way.
That said, I wouldn't force her into anything (like counseling) unless you sense that she is posing an immediate danger to herself. Forcing a person to talk to someone, or forcing him/her to stop a behavior is a sure way to get the person to shut down. It's important to go in with a loving, non-judgmental attitude, and hope that she responds.
It is a very difficult thing to deal with; I know from experience on my end, and from helping others. I know that it's very hard not to get extremely emotional or be too forceful. Just be strong, and trust your instincts. I hope this helps. heart
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:05 am
Hmmm... Maybe some kind of confidence building trip is in order. I don't know how old you guys are but like going out on a camping trip or rafting a river usually adds excitment, gets your mind off things and makes you feel proud about yourself
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