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My depressed thoughts will be typed in blue.

I don't know why. For the past few months, probably since the schoolyear began, I started to have deep blue funks. I just suddenly get depressed. Things still make me laugh, and they sometimes give me momentary happiness, but then I just remember how crappy my life is and will probably continue to be. Normal things I love to do like drawing are becoming hard to do nowadays because of what I think of myself. I always have these thoughts to myself, "You can't draw that." "I can't believe how bad you did that." "Your friends call THIS good? Hell, they probably just try to make you feel better." "Your drawings only come out as good as you: complete crap."

I don't even know what gets me up in the morning anymore. The girl I love has a boyfriend, and we now talk very little. Maybe about once a day, few sentences at that.My life outside of the computer is a barren wasteland, only hanging out with a few friends every day after school, and that's only for a scheduled club. I try to ask my other friends if I can hang out with them, but they always say they're busy. "They don't want to hang out with a loser."

I'm even seeing love as I used to. A fake emotion. Something just to bring you down. The SIGHT of love is beginning to tear me apart. Everyone's in love. I just want all this s**t to end. Why can't my life be good like all these other people? I've heard life gets better after it gets worse. My life sucked, but then I met the one I'm in love with. She used to be in love with me too. But our distance destroyed our relationship. She needed something physical, and I understand that. "She didn't love you. She was probably just leading you on, like every other girl who says that they do." I've never met a girl in real life who wanted to be with me."Well who would? You're just a loser. An unattractive, nerdy, untalented, unfunny loser."

I don't know how I will get my happiness back for a while now. The only true romance I ever get anymore is through Role Playing.

"I HATE MY LIFE."

I believe it's completely normal for someone to be sad for no reason at random times.
BUT:
You should never degrade yourself or put yourself down for no reason.
Pertaining to the love situation: Physical pleasure isn't always everything. If she believed that's what she needed and you were against it/weren't ready for it, she is not the one for you. Sometimes all a relationship needs is hugs/kisses and cuddling. And because "everyone is in love" does not mean you have to be.
I do not know you.
I probably will never know you.
But maybe you're an awesome person.
And sometimes being alone is what's best for a person. There's no one to push you around or tell you what to do. And you can do whatever on your own time.
pertaining to your art: Everyone is good at something. Everyone can draw. Maybe some people do not do it as well as other artists but everyone can do it. If your friends tell you it's good but you believe it is not, talk to them. And everytime you go to them for judgement tell them to be dead honest.
I'm not very good at the therapy/making people feel better stuff but this is the best I could do.
I hope you are well. =3

scream WTF Dash?! gonk Why weren't Special and I informed about this earlier?

Listen up cause I'll only share this once. I was like that too; alone, mad/disappointed in myself, hell the only reason I get up anymore is because I'm depended upon at work. Three years I've had to ask for a ride into work by those people and I still ask for a ride in because I have no car nor a license for that matter. But I'm such a workaholic that I'm respected by them. Show some people you have a reason to be respected. But don't be too quick about it. Let it happen slowly. Everything after that will fall into place.

As for you criticizing your work...what artist doesn't? My job may not require me to be too artistic, but I'm in charge of quality control at the shop, and everything I do must be perfect. If it's not then the other stages down the assembly line get more difficult. When I pick up my brush at work, I'm a horrible perfectionist. If my wrist jumps and makes a small mess I get really mad. Those rods are my canvas and my brushes are for making my art complete and perfect. But after every rod I think I could have done better on it.

Love? sweatdrop Hell I haven't tried that since I was nineteen, and I'm twenty-two now! I had a bad run in with a relationship and it scared me pretty bad. After that I concentrated on myself and living an honest life. Over time I changed to the person I am today.

wink And Dash, feel free to PM me to vent or ask for advice any time. I know I hadn't quite been myself lately but I'm still willing to help.

That's what this thread is for; whining, ranting and everything in between. =3
Chemical depression? Like from what?
Hormones will control your feelings through the rest of your life, my friend.

There are two types of depression. Chemical and situational. If it's chemical, no matter how good your situation is, you won't really be happy, because like all emotions it is a matter of neurochemisty.
Hormones will always be a factor, but they won't exert the control over a person later as they do during one's teenage years.

all these people are saying is live life and be happy. you only need the people around you to feel greatful that you made it far enough