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 Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:32 am
Need a place to get your munch on? How about a place to dance the night away with your sweetheart, your brother, a mix of the two? I know, right? Well, actually I do know. That’s why Lee Jordan is going to set you up with this epic guide of London’s more well known dives, clubs, pubs, cafes and shops. So, let’s get to planning that weekend of yours.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:39 am
Pubs
CBGB Punk Pub
First off all, this place has some serious history. The building itself was magically moved a few years just after it closed in its birthplace of New York City.
Pros: The place is the current home of the wizarding phenomenon the Coversluts. So, four days out of the week the place is jam packed with 'Sluts ready to hear Reg Black and his crew belt out their favorite songs. When they’re not hitting it up the local WROCK bands take the stage and continue to make this place the heart of London’s rock scene.
Cons: Because of it being Coverslut central the crowd can be pretty rowdy, pretty rude and pretty rank all around. The space is also not magically charmed, so there’s no expansions and no real wards keeping the massive crowds in line. Because of the small space and how quickly it fills up you typically have to come three hours earlier just to get inside, let alone anywhere near the stage.
The King’s Arms Ale House
Great place for hearty food, cheap drinks and a lot of laughs. This place is still called The c**k, even with the name change and the crowd that visits the place is, of course, your run of the mill blue collar lot of dicks.
Pros: Amazing food. If you’re wanting to get something that’s going to fill you up without having to spend an arm and a leg this is the definitely where you should grab a bite. They have every traditional English pub dish you could think of, on top of giving you three drinks to a plate. The atmosphere is extremely casual on most week nights, save for when Quidditch is on the old television they had set up and only then does the place get really loud or rowdy.
Cons: Because of the homey, “come have a pint, let’s relax” vibe of King’s Arms, it’s not exactly the place to party. Sure, you can romp around with your mates over a few pints, holler about the Cannons and how they’re bloody cheats, but if you’re wanting to get your groove on or just want to mingle, I’d take myself elsewhere.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:42 am
Restaurants, Juice Bars, Diners
Ma-Meido Sushi Bar
Clean, classy and fairly well off about prices and popularity as far as a high end joint goes. They’re one of the few places in London that actually gets their product shipped in fresh every morning.
Pros: This is a great hang out if you’re ready to look good, speak well and eat light. The decor gives it a very rich, strong feel to it, like if you really want to impress the bird, or bloke, you’re bringing out. It’s also great for business luncheons for the same reason.
Cons: It’s not really a casual wear sort of place, nor is it for any of us not willing to lighten our wallets. The place can come off stuffy to more relaxed patrons and with the typical crowd it’s not exactly the sushi bar for everyone. Another bad point is the fact that, even though they do have a vegetarian menu, most spots near the prep area itself do carry a bit of fish smell, so it’s not for anyone who can’t bare strong odors.
Marmalade:
It’s rather hidden in the city, nudged between a health food store and a laundry mat. Marmalade also has an iffy reputation because of the location, but also because of what it is you’re getting out of the place and its contradictory services.
Pros: Awesome hang out if you want to share a bit of smoke or air with your mates. It’s a nice spot to meditate and wind down depending on the side you settle into.
Cons: There’s quite a lot of controversy over the oxygen bar and the smoking lounge. One group claims that the place is a fire hazard, which really it isn’t, and another group says that a particular number of its patrons ruin the chi flow with their negativity. The confusion as to which group is for what side can also distract the intended relaxation one is supposed to be provided.
Juice Generation
Oh, how I love Juice Generation. It’s hip, spunky and has the best strawberry banana orange juice in town. The staff is awesome because while they’ll give you healthy suggestions they also won’t give you the hate stare when you ask for chocolate biscuits or vinegar crisps.
Pros: Service is key here; they do not skimp you on friendly service and with the additive of delivery I would say it’s the main place I get my drink on. The food is nice and fresh, veggies are always crunchy and the bread is fresh baked every morning. Great place to hit up after a jog (or so I’m assuming), quick lunch or even after a suck-filled day of work.
Cons: The pricing is high because of the quality of food and the ingredients, so if you’re not willing to pay a little extra I wouldn’t suggest it. Also, if you’re not one for the younger crowd, you may get a bit irritated with all the Iphone oggling, giggling university kids that hang around shop.
Lover’s Cove Dining
Ready for a night of romance with a lovely view, mellow fireplace and fine wine? This is the place you’re going to get all of that and more, hopefully, at the end of the night.
Pros: Perfect spot for taking your lover to if you want to show them just how important they really are, and you can even do that sort of thing for your wife too. Seriously though, the lighting is absolutely perfect here and it all wraps up into a wonderful night.
Cons: Not for casual nights or really for first dates. This place was designed for couples wanting a night to remember and that’s about it.
Full Moon Vegetarian Restaurant
Vegetable lo mien with a side of freshly steamed white rice drizzled in soy sauce sounds absolutely amazing, doesn't it? Here you can get just that, have it delivered to your home and not even have to bat an eyelash about the cost.
Pros: Amazingly tasty food is the first thing people will say when you bring up Full Moon. The owners make the place feel like you're running home to grab lunch from mum if you're a regular, and it is very easy to become a regular here.
Cons: If you're not an actual vegetarian and you just want to try the food, that's great, but don't mention it to anyone around. You'll end up with a face full of day old ramen and a boot in your a**.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:44 am
Clubs
Club Radius
Home to yours truly, Radius is the place to be on Friday and Saturday nights. The music is pumping, drinks mixing and asses shaking to a tune that can’t get any hotter anywhere else.
Pros: Awesome music, awesome dance floor and an awesome bar are just the few major things that stand out. Radius provides you with the hottest hits, newest drinks and the tightest security you can get.
Cons: Because of all the great things about it, Radius is hard to get into. It’s the VIP lounge of London, so if you’re not VIP material you might want to try someplace else. However, if you think you have what it takes try the door price and see if you still want in. No? Yeah, sorry about that.
Jello Fishes
Like totally the most awesome place to ever exist EVAR. Fishes offers a hang out for the youth of London, whether you’re a tween who needs a place to go, a teen who has no place to go, or an adult that should probably go they offer a nice family friendly get away to dance the night away.
Pros: It’s the only place in town that parents, kids and teens can go without having to worry about any sort of nasty content; unrated music, drugs or alcohol.
Cons: Sadly, the pros are sort of also the cons. If you’re not someone who enjoys censored music and a lack of drinks to get the dance turned on you probably shouldn’t go here. They also seem to have some off rules, like no “dirty dancing” so that might put a damper on your date if you go there.
The Hippodrome
Ready for glitter rain and Cher, baby? Well, this is it.
Pros: The Hippodrome has one of the most awesome, albeit confusing, layouts for a club anywhere I’ve seen. It’s five stories of music thumping labyrinth. The bathrooms are actually on call, the building itself charmed to keep patrons safe and secure at all times, so it’s great if you’re ready to get smashed to Lady Jeckyll’s show stopping rendition of “What Is Love.”
Cons: Because of the charms and the layering of the club itself, it can be really confusing. There’s also the fact that the place kind of gives you what you need, so the condom machine popping up on the wall beside your date can be startling and a little annoying. Not that I’d need one when I go there..just saying.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:46 am
Shops
Turn Up the Text Bookstore
The place to get your bookworm on. TUT makes it cool again to read, well, if it was ever considered cool to read. S'cool now.
Pros: The atmosphere is light, friendly and over all chill. Kids mill in and out heading for the merchandise and then out for a coffee. This is a surprisingly nice place to make some new friends.
Cons: Where is the coffee shop, guys? This place is way too popular not to have some sort of cafe, cybercafe or even a coffee machine somewhere inside. The membership card is nice, but I would rather have a latte with my new copy of The Boy Who Failed, thanks.
Peridot
Not exactly a shop, but the service you can pay for here is ten times more reliable than the idiots that are allowed to play psychiatrist. Peridot offers a safe haven for those of us that just want a quiet comfort.
Pros: Top notch support groups offer people who can't stomach or afford the publicity of seeking help. Whether you're a celebrity who can't get rid of an itch or a veteran who just can't sleep, you can usually at least find someone in the same boat to talk to.
Cons: Because it's got so many troubled people filtering in and out you can run into some nasty scenes. Typically, the counselors can keep everyone calm, but they can't always stop someone from tossing a chair across the room or usher someone into the bathroom before they get sick all over the poor sod sitting next to them.
Who Knews It
A junk shop that had started small and slowly grew into a giant mass of stuff.
Pros: There are a lot of really cool, unique things in Who Knews It and the stock is always being added to. It's a great place to spend Saturday morning if you're good and awake enough to start digging through.
Cons: There is no organization to Who Knews It. The name kind of states this, but once you've got your sleeves rolled up and you really start trying to look you begin to realize there's no sure way to find anything specific unless you happen to just plain luck out. Don't even bother asking the employees if they know if they have anything in particular either.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:48 am
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