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 Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 4:45 pm
Quote: My biggest fear is not being able to have kids… It would make me feel like less of a woman & wife. This is just ... sad. When will women learn that their value is not in their ability to produce children. sad
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 4:48 pm
Valise This is just ... sad. When will women learn that their value is not in their ability to produce sandwiches. sad
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 4:55 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:15 pm
When men stop obsessed over continuing their genes onto the next generation.
Of course there are always exceptions so no one freak out on me. I know some men are fine with adoption or not having kids at all. Some women could also not care less about having kids or if they are able to.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:48 pm
Men feeling worthless over not being fertile is equally sad, although I haven't personally encountered that.
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Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:59 am
I'm not sure it's something you can 'learn' per se. It's such a deeply rooted biological need, that isn't necessarily rational in this day and age, but it's still such a part of what makes us human, that I can't see it ever changing. If someone who felt that having children was important to them, but they couldn't, it would come as a bit of a blow at the very least. It's like...discovering you're colour blind if you wanted to be a pilot. You could eventually make your peace with it, but the emotional response is going to be there. It's sad, but I'm not sure there's much to be done.
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Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 12:13 pm
I'm not arguing that you shouldn't feel sad. It is devastating, I'm sure. But to feel like less of a wife...?
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:31 am
I can sort of get it. But I was a virgin when we got married and had no clue I had issues in the nether regions. It took three days to do the deal because it hurt so bad. 8 years later I still felt like I was being ripped open every time we did it. I had a lot of issues dealing with feeling inadequate as a wife. My hubs dealt with feelings of rejection. It was a tough time, but finally we found a specialist that dealt with vaginal pain and they fixed us up. Yes they did fix us up. heart
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:40 am
That is awful, Arianah. :[
I'm glad it was fixed. May I ask what fixed it? Was it an emotional/psychological thing or was it physical?
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:19 pm
I'm not gonna lie, I would feel completely awful about it.
YES, I could adopt and would, and I'd love that child like I birthed it myself but, I would always feel like I let David down a little because I know he wants to have his own kid.
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:49 pm
I can see where she's coming from. If that happened to me, it probably would affect how I saw myself as a wife, but not as a person. If that makes sense.
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 8:29 pm
I understand where the blogger may be coming from as well.
She may have set obligations to the term 'wife' that she's wants to fulfill, and when that doesn't happen, it's a let down.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 12:00 am
People get married for a lot of reasons and having kids and starting a family is often one of them. So I can understand why someone might feel less of a wife, because being infertile is not being able to fulfil a role (whether it's the main one or not) that you married for.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 6:59 pm
No woman is less of a wife or woman because she can't have children. Just the idea is ridiculous. You would never tell a woman that. So women should not feel like that. It's an awful thing to be infertile, no one is denying that, but it in no way lessens you and I find it unfortunate that women like this think it does. I understand why they may feel that way, but I wish that they wouldn't, because it simply isn't true.
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