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Soldiers

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fightoffyourdemons101

PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:20 pm


I long to rank amongst the legions of the great unknown
To protest humanitys sick and sadistic struggle
Cease your fire. We find allies in the hedonistic glory
And wage war against the american dream

Victory glares through every puff of smoke
Blaring out of every jukebox

There is no need to fight the lost war for balance
We have long since tipped the scales

Solace for those without souls is hard to come by
Makeshift harmony found in half empty bottles
Manufactured meaning built to keep us grounded

We of the disgusted and unloved
We of the forgotten and overlooked

We fight against the fight
Everyday
Working our waytowards the emminent end

We are soldiers
battling towards freedom
We are soldiers
Running from the plague of responsibility
We are soldiers
With every self destructive breath we take
We are soldiers
And we are winning
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 2:41 am


Whoah. Maybe this is a crazy awesome poem and I am just way below its level? Either that, or it is a little bit scattered. I had kind of a hard time keeping track of what you were talking about, until the last bit, starting at "solace". It seemed like everything before that word contradicted the stuff after it, or maybe that's just me?

Maybe you could explain this to me so that I could say some better things about it? Like, what are you trying to say - that the war is over and there's no need to fight it, or that there are people fighting this thing and they won't give up? It's a little too confusing for my feeble mind.

Other than that, I really dig some of the alliteration, and the fact that it doesn't rhyme. Nice.

Fiat Lux Aeterna


fightoffyourdemons101

PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:51 pm


haha idk the image in my head was like we fight so hard for this American Dream, all the material things that people strive for everyday. and all these people stress over all of these little things. and how we need to fight against the fight. dont fight for all of these petty things. find a way to be happy. find your allies in the "hedonistic glory" cause you only have one chance to live.... maybe that helps? idk
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Poet's Paradise

 
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