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 Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:31 pm
So. I have these things what Corn made- And they're pretty Terrible. This is an open contest for the Orange Boy. - There will be a picture raffle contest for the transparent girl. As you can see from above Olive and I were pretty greedy and took two each ... But six of these things is still too much. Even for us. This is where you come in: I want a story depicting the goings on that led up to Decline of Carl. Nothing gross, I don't wanna know about the babby making; but I do want you to tell me 'bout how they came to the decision (or non-decision) to make kids together. There's a catch, though! There are words. Words you have to use at least four of. The words are as follows:Coup Root Beer Jelly Authenticate Mongoose Hairbrush Fortune Lip Balm Hentai Finger nails Spores Moisturize ... Yeah, have fun with that. Also - Use this form please. It will help getting these pups certed up as soon as contests are over. [size=18][b][color=#F88017]W[/color][color=#F77525]H[/color][color=#F76A33]Y[/color][color=#F65F41] [/color][color=#F6544F]D[/color][color=#F6495D]I[/color][color=#F53E6B]D[/color][color=#F53379] [/color][color=#F52887]Y[/color][color=#F53379]O[/color][color=#F53E6B]U[/color][color=#F6495D] [/color][color=#F6544F]M[/color][color=#F65F41]A[/color][color=#F76A33]K[/color][color=#F77525]E[/color][color=#F88017] [/color][color=#F77525]M[/color][color=#F76A33]E[/color][color=#F65F41] [/color][color=#F6544F]W[/color][color=#F6495D]R[/color][color=#F53E6B]I[/color][color=#F53379]T[/color][color=#F52887]E[/color][color=#F53379] [/color][color=#F53E6B]T[/color][color=#F6495D]H[/color][color=#F6544F]I[/color][color=#F65F41]S[/color][color=#F76A33]?[/color][color=#F77525]![/color][/b][/size]
[color=#1569C7][b]Username :[/b][/color]
[color=#7D1B7E][b]Babby name :[/b][/color]
[color=#25383C][b]Story :[/b][/color] (Please bold the words you chose from the list. <3 ) You have from now until : Midnight CST - Monday the 24th.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:33 pm
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:56 pm
WHY DID YOU MAKE ME WRITE THIS?!
Username : Haisyn Fierra
Babby name : Pointless Rage
Story : Well see, Carl had been chugging down pretty hard on a bottle of spiked root beer. Like really hard. Like, this was the second one he'd had in an hour, and it was a two liter. So. Anyway he decided his mongoose needed some waxing (no really, he had an actual mongoose, though ******** if I know how he got it or what he was doing to the poor animal with that wax). Anyway he got his mongoose all waxed up while reading some hentai manga or other and went to go grab bottle nummer 3 of the spiked root beer, and while he was poking in the fridge he realized he was out of his favorite jelly. Since that simply would not do he chugged his latest bottle and wobbled drunkenly into the bathroom to pretty himself up with his hairbrush. He was feeling pretty good then, and since he didn't think there was any further need to authenticate how sexy he was, he wandered out toward the store. As he was swaggering down the street some cloud of dust suddenly blew past him and got all in his eyes and nose and he had a coughing fit. For a minute he thought it was a bunch of spores but when he finally got his watery eyes to crack open he saw Decline had just finished filing her finger nails (and apparently blew all of the nail dust right in front of him for some reason?) and was attempting to moisturize them in lip balm. (WTF is with these two?) Anyway when she noticed he was looking she offered to tell him his fortune (gotta make a buck somehow, y'know). Of course Carl was drunk off his a** and feeling sexy, and his eyesight was further impaired by nail dust, so he was interested in something VERY different than just a fortune.
You guys are all old enough to figure out what happened after that, right?
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:14 am
WHY DID YOU MAKE ME WRITE THIS?!
Username : ~KiraKaguya~
Babby name : Sexually Transmitted Disease
Story : (For short-hand sake, Decline of Man in the story will be known as DOM)
One night Carl and DOM decided to watch a hentai movie while they did each other's finger nails. The movie was pretty terrible, like most other hentai/porn movies. Specifically, this one was a parody of another existing movie about certain women and sex and the city or something. The one with the horse-faced woman.
So while they're watching the movie, sippin' on their root beers Carl turns to look DOM in the eyes. There was nothing romantic about the setting at all, but he figured he'd try to make DOM feel more comfortable.
You see, they were set up by a couple mutual "friends" to go on a "date" together. It's not typical that on the first date people watch pornos together, but hey, it's a different era now. Plus they're Dicks, not people.
As the tentacle raping and moaning was going about, Carl asked DOM how she liked the movie. DOM just shrugged her shoulders as best she could, trying not to seem turned on by the movie at all. In the middle of Carl's one-sided conversation with DOM, she started day-dreaming about humping stuff. She was thinking about humping the couch cushions, the couch itself, the sexy leg lamp next to them, and so forth.
But how could she approach Carl for sex without seeming too slutty? This was every woman's dilemma. So while she was biting her lips, she thought of a genius idea.
Turning to Carl who was still conversing about something, she asked if he had any lip balm. He was a little surprised by her request, but he handed her the chapstick that was on the coffee table and offered it to her. So while she was moisturizing her lips, Carl complemented on how beautiful she was. He made it a point to compliment her hat or hood, or whatever hair accessory it was. It looked good on her, brought out the color of her eyes, all the cheesy stuff.
Sighing, DOM just turned to Carl and said, "******** it. Let's make a baby." Of course, any sane male creature with a sex drive would say yes.
They shared a special hug and soon after the Dickens-Stork delivered little Dicklets to all.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:10 am
Due to the sensitive nature of this story, it is told through 1990s era chatroom logs.
WHY DID YOU MAKE ME WRITE THIS?!
Username : Scaramouche Fandango
Babby name : Questionable Content
Story :
Welcome to FlirtyFriends Chat! Girls, find a lap. Guys, find a girl. @}-,-`-
DoM_Perignon2000: a/s/l??
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: +18/m/right here. u?
DoM_Perignon2000: *giggles* you’re funny. im not sharin my deets. not… yet.
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: wut doe s that mean???
DoM_Perignon2000: *giggles* it means we’ll see how good u are.
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: at wut?
DoM_Perignon2000: -_- dont u know?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: know wut?
DoM_Perignon2000: this isn’t a room jsut to talk. >_>
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: o
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: OH
DoM_Perignon2000: *giggles* so… how u wanna play?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: um. i’ll be the gas station man. u be the customer. U are a doctor and also a princess.
DoM_Perignon2000: Ok. wink Hello, gas statioin man. im dr. Princess. my car broke down. will u fix?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: *the gas station man is busy drinking a root beer and doesnt hear u*
DoM_Perignon2000: HELLO GAS STATION MAN IM DR. PRINCESS MY CAR BROKE DOWN WILL U FIX?!?!?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: *the gas station man looks down at his fingernails and mutters*
DoM_Perignon2000: *looks around* its hot in this gas station… im going to take off my shirt… i feel dirty… why dont i clean up? *takes a hairbrush & drags it thru my long blonde hair*
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: *the gas station man pulls out some chapstick and uses it on his chapped lips*
DoM_Perignon2000: ...srsly? Lip balm??
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: i dont think this is working. u pick scenario?
DoM_Perignon2000: *giggles* ok. i kno! i will be steve jobs. u be bill gates.
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: WTF
DoM_Perignon2000: wut, u not into yaoi?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: wut is yoia?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: *yaoi
DoM_Perignon2000: its like in hentai when 2 guys do it
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: oh ok i just didnt think that was a very realistic scenario because i dont think mrs. jobs would like steve and bill gates doing things
DoM_Perignon2000: thats why its cyber! duh! :&, (^o^) lol its ok i have a lot of apple stock steve jobs wouldn’t mind.
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: ok how about u be steve jobs and i will be an apple lady whose computer doesnt work
DoM_Perignon2000: ooh, kinky! :-*
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: ok so hi mr jobs my apple doesnt work good i cant get itunes to work
DoM_Perignon2000: did u authenticate ur program?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: y, i dont think thats the problem.
DoM_Perignon2000: have you spilt water on the keyboard?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: no plz help i spent a fortune on this thing i have no money to pay but im sure if you help me somethin good will happen
DoM_Perignon2000: ok let me open it up
DoM_Perignon2000: y see here! u put ky jelly inside. y u do that?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: well it is an apple and i didnt want it to dry out i wanted to moisturize it.
DoM_Perignon2000: ORZ
DoM_Perignon2000: young lady if you put crap in ur apple it will get spores and be gross! also u might attract animals like a rat or a mongoose and that wuld be bad.
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: dont be stupid there are no mongooses in california!
DoM_Perignon2000: ...when did we get to california i thought we were in an apple store?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: i figured we were in california b/c steve jobs wuldnt be in an apple store he wuld be at his house. steve jobs is too busy to work in an apple store.
DoM_Perignon2000: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT
DoM_Perignon2000: STEVE JOBS IS A SAINT HE CARES ABOUT THE APPLE STOCKHOLDERS HE WOULD FIX THEIR COMPUTERS
DoM_Perignon2000: IF YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT A REALISTIC SETTING THEN YOU WOULD KNOW THAT BARRING SOME KIND OF INTERNAL INDUSTRIAL COUP STEVE JOBS WOULD HANDLE THIS SORT OF THING PERSONALLY
DoM_Perignon2000: WHAT KIND OF COMPUTER DO YOU USE
DoM_Perignon2000: ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: woah u crazy b***h i use linux all windows and macs suck
DoM_Perignon2000: ...THAT IS IT I AM COMING TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND ******** YOU RIGHT IN THE EAR
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: u dont know where i live
DoM_Perignon2000: I HAVE UR IP ADDRESS
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: so?????
User DoM_Perignon2000 logged off.
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: hello?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: where u go?
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: ...hello?????????
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: i wonder who is at the door…
User xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx logged off!
THE NEXT DAY
Welcome to Yohoo Answer Chat! We will answer your questions. @}-,-`-
DoM_Perignon2000: HELLO?
DoM_Perignon2000: U GUYS I AM IN SOME SRS TROUBLE
DoM_Perignon2000: ystrday i tried to cyber with a guy and s**t got real
DoM_Perignon2000: i think im pregnent
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: dont get rid of ur babby.
They need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back? it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids. they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his children ; i am truley sorry for your lots
DoM_Perignon2000: wut lots? i havent had any baby. i just think im pregnent
DoM_Perignon2000: …
DoM_Perignon2000: …
DoM_Perignon2000: …
DoM_Perignon2000: YOU
xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx: ...OHSHIT
User xxCaRlxxBl00DyxxTeAr5xx logged off!
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:58 pm
Yeah. These were definitely something special guys. You should all feel proud shamed. However - We had to choose just one winner. And that winner is: Scara. ... You touched a deep, very personal, part of my heart and other things with your 90s style chat room story. Unable to tell if this is a good or bad thing I do know that you at least made me laugh. Very. Hard. So much so that I almost peed myself a little. No joke. This choice was definitely unanimous between Olive and I, and we are both very excited for Questionable Content to be a part of our terrible little family. The rest of you: take a hike go enter the raffle [ here] for a chance at his transparent sister in the corner there.
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