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 Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 6:58 pm
I sit in class everyday at school, frowning with the rest of the kids so I don't look weird being the only one smiling. When I'm in the two classes that only have like 10 or less students, I smile and laugh all I want, because they're no different then me, an alien in a place of gossip and discrimination.
It really isn't in my personality to be sad. It's just the world around me that makes me depressed. When I feel free to be who I am, I smile and laugh and giggle and just be HAPPY. The constant pressure of those around me, sometimes it's too much. "You're nothing, your dreams aren't real, you're a failure, you'll never be better then dirt." So, when I'm alone, when no one is around, I look inside the box hidden in the corner of my being. And I smile at the brilliance within.
Yeah. Share a story? Or something about you you're too afraid to tell anyone else. We're all equals here, so lets be friends.
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 7:10 pm
In my first year of university I was afraid to tell anyone about how I played Yu-Gi-Oh. I was afraid of being stigmatized, or being different. We just had the first week of second semester, second year, and in all my classes, when we were all in our classes playing the Name Game and saying something interesting about ourselves, I told everyone that I played Yu-Gi-Oh competitively. I said that in all my classes.
Why would I say that?
Because everyone in my university is so ******** boring. When it's their turn to say something interesting about themselves, they'll just say the hockey team they like, their favourite food, that they have a pet. They're all in the Criminal Justice program to join the RCMP and work in small towns, everyone's so shy and everyone appears the same.
If I tried fitting in, if I tried keeping my head down like them, I'd be as boring as they are. So I went and told them I play trading card games, get involved in zombie marches, and when I get out of school I'm going to be working in online justice, taking down child predators for the RCMP's I.C.E. unit while they're in farming towns busting high school parties.
I wouldn't fit in with these guys even if I tried. I don't like hockey, I don't like UFC, I don't like drinking and I don't like doing what's stereotypical of my age group. I just want to fulfill my own dreams, you know? Even if it means I don't fit in. That's more important to me, just doing what feels right for me.
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 7:19 pm
Yeah. I think everyone's just a little scared of what the next person might say, if they'll shoot them in the head for being out of line from what everyone else deems acceptable. We are the ones who define our world, so we should be free to be who we are.
I gave a speech about Yu-Gi-Oh in my speech communications class. I was terrified, and everyone was snickering, but you know? It felt good. At least I'm not talking about how to bake cookies. Only thing that was good about that was the free samples, but otherwise everyone was bored out of their brains.
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 1:46 pm
Yeah, it is funny.
I never tried to be an outsider, I never tried to be any different from my peers.
Now, I'm not saying I'm so ******** unique or anything.
It's just... Uh. The more people I'm with, the lonelier I feel.
I do have friends, though.
Less than I used to, but I still have a bunch of good friends.
I don't really have anything in common with most of them.
They all know I'm sick in the head and they make fun of me for it.
Yeah, I know.
It's friendly, something guys do.
But I can't always take it, really, sometimes it's just a bit too much.
I've been working to get better and I don't think it's fair for them to do that.
Anyway... I draw, paint and write.
I like being drunk, sure, but I also like to just sit at home, listening to music, reading, watching movies or playing YGO!.
Or just doing nothing.
I don't really like leaving the house.
I have no idea why I just wrote that.
Oh well.
I guess that's sorta the point of this thread.
To make people give out something of themselves.
Even if it's just a tiny piece.
Sometimes, it helps.
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