For about 3 or 4 years now I've been working my @ss off to lose weight.... I think I lost a tiny bit.... but gained it again. And I kinda have a reason... I was moving to a completely different city... I didn't have time to get up in the morning and do my routine... (I'd walk for 4 to 5 miles at the most) Cause we were working on packing up the house... then once we finally settled in.. school started up...it was my sophomore year.... and the work was completely stressing me out that i just didn't feel like getting up and exercising... (i'm home schooled... so I have to motivate myself to do it all >.<) Now it's been a year and I'm sick of it.... and now it's junior year.... still hard and stressful work...
The past few weeks, I've been doing kinda good on it... my problem??? I stop after a couple minutes.... why? it either hurts to the point i can't do it anymore, or i feel like sh*t... just today i was dancing to really fast music to help me go and stuff.... 2 songs passed and i felt like i had the flu without the cold symptoms... only body aches.. and stuff... I felt like i was gonna puke at any moment...
I'm so sick of having to stop because of this... I'm losing faith in myself because I know if I keep stopping like this I'll never get the body I want, and I'll never feel good about myself.. I'm sick of looking at myself and thinking "Eww" I'm sick of seeing big sized clothes in my closet... But whatever I do, I just can't go on with it cause of that sick feeling i get...
I blame 3 things:
1. Myself, obviously... I'm always going negative on myself...
2. School for stressing me to the point I just don't wanna do anything more than lay down
3. Honestly I think one of the reasons is my tonsils... they're huge.. they're almost blocking my throat... I'd get a tonsillectomy, but my parents say they don't want to put me through it... i don't know if we can afford it... i don't know if insurance will cover it... I've had strep throat before... i lived through it... so i think the pain from the tonsillectomy won't do much... :l
I just don't know what to do anymore .___.
The past few weeks, I've been doing kinda good on it... my problem??? I stop after a couple minutes.... why? it either hurts to the point i can't do it anymore, or i feel like sh*t... just today i was dancing to really fast music to help me go and stuff.... 2 songs passed and i felt like i had the flu without the cold symptoms... only body aches.. and stuff... I felt like i was gonna puke at any moment...
I'm so sick of having to stop because of this... I'm losing faith in myself because I know if I keep stopping like this I'll never get the body I want, and I'll never feel good about myself.. I'm sick of looking at myself and thinking "Eww" I'm sick of seeing big sized clothes in my closet... But whatever I do, I just can't go on with it cause of that sick feeling i get...
I blame 3 things:
1. Myself, obviously... I'm always going negative on myself...
2. School for stressing me to the point I just don't wanna do anything more than lay down
3. Honestly I think one of the reasons is my tonsils... they're huge.. they're almost blocking my throat... I'd get a tonsillectomy, but my parents say they don't want to put me through it... i don't know if we can afford it... i don't know if insurance will cover it... I've had strep throat before... i lived through it... so i think the pain from the tonsillectomy won't do much... :l
I just don't know what to do anymore .___.
...Sunlight burns, children surrender.
