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I'm really not sure who to turn to ... I'd really like some opinions from some neutral parties on this.

I have this friend, we'll call him Friend 1 ... and I met him on my very first day of college. He was part of my move in crew. Anyway, we eventually started dating but about a month or two later broke up (him) due to communication issues and the fact we were just both too stubborn to admit being wrong. However, we stayed really close friends (and I mean really close) ... he knows just about everything and anything about me. I really cared for this guy, and I still do. I waited, and hoped he might change his mind about a second chance since he always talked about how I was the only one he could really trust etc. but it never happened, so I moved on.

-- 3 years later --

This fall, another friend of mine invited a guy friend of her's to my 20th birthday bash and he got my number through her the fallowing day when I was able to properly make that decision. He and I hit it off and I fell for him ... I hadn't felt that way about someone since Friend 1. He and I spent a lot of time together. However, he did these little things that bugged me. He would never fallow through with his word (on plans we'd made) and he would never take my feelings into consideration. I did my best to be calm in expressing this to him... but he would call it stupid (among other names) and then I would loose my cool a little. I just wanted him to treat me like a person, as equally as he did his friends (he treated them with a lot of respect and always fallowed through with them) ... nothing more, nothing less. I didn't think that was a lot to ask for? Anyway, he was making fun of Friend 1 one day ... and I mean serious insults, and because Friend 1 means a lot to me as a friend (he's always been there for me) I stood up for him and firmly but calmly told this guy I was seeing that it is NOT OK to talk like that about my friends, that he is an amazing friend to me and I don't insult his friends so his comments like that should be kept to himself. Our relationship ended later that evening....

When Friend 1 found out why this guy and I broke up ... and I guess that got him thinking. We had a small conversation this evening about how he might like a relationship... well ... it took a while to get that out of him. He kept saying he doesn't know what he really wants, but the thought had crossed his mind and he thinks it might be something he'd want. I couldn't think of what to say because it was something I'd never thought would ever come up. We've both changed quite a bit since we met just over 3 years ago, and the issues we had in the past we've gotten better with (the communication)

However, since becoming single it's been fun because I've gotten a lot more time with my friends. I find making equal time for both a relationship and friends can be difficult (when they don't get along well together). I have a friend who I lost touch with the last few months that is trying to set me up with different guys.. one in particular is a childhood friend of her's who isn't the most attractive but she say's he's a real sweetheart (I think I'm meeting him in early January) and talking to him it does seem to be true but I'm also quite skeptical. I want to really get to know a person before I'm in a relationship with them. Then her boyfriend also has single friends (Physiotherapy students) he wants me to meet.

I'm 20 ... that's young lol. I'm going to be a fresh-college graduate so I want to be sure about the choices I make because I feel like I have a lot of options out there. I just don't know if considering things with this guy would be worth it ... he left once when things got tough, I'm afraid it'd happen again.

I feel like I've hit a road block. I tried asking a more mutual friend ... she just said "Wow. Well good luck with that." Huh ... thanks for the advice. My parents even adore this Friend 1 and would try to influence me in that direction. So I'm looking for advice from a more neutral party.

Any thoughts on what I should do?

I would get to know everyone before dating someone but if you really like friend 1 then I would give it another chance. But dont call it dating. Like hang out just the two of you. I made the mistake several times to not to get to know the people I date and it lead to break ups or arguments. Im 23 and my husband is 26 so remember age doesnt matter.

20 is still plenty young so dont feel the need to rush. i personally dont go back out with ex's after we have broken up, ive never had it end well, but thats just me. i like to put all my ex's in the friend zone and keep them there. sounds like you and friend 1 are close though so it may work out.


@Repede

the perfect time to find the one differs from person to person. 20 can still be way too young for some people. even at 20 your mind is still developing a bit and your personality and intrests can still change alot and sometimes that can affect your relationships

What aabbouuutt. Just dating? No commitments. Are you able/capable of going on a few dates with each before making a decision? I know it can be awkward to date more than one person and I use to consider that being a "player" but just be upfront. I was in a similar situation just last summer.

There's always one guy who wants me to give us another chance and I keep telling him no but he asks again like every year rolleyes

I had a few guys online I was seeing and my friend wanted to hook me up with a friend of her fiances. I was 21 at the time. I didn't know who to choose because let's face it, you can't make that kind of decision without getting to know someone. Plus I had just gotten out of a really serious relationship. So I was very open and honest. I was recently single, I didn't want a commitment, I wanted to meet a whole bunch of people and have fun and if one of those people led to a relationship great but no expectations.

I had two really good guys that I dated for a while, but after a month or two it pretty much was just one guy that I spent all my time with. The set up of my friend's fiance. And even though I wasn't dating ANYONE else, I still turned down the relationship. It's just a title, I felt all it meant was that I promised not to date anyone else and I still wanted that option in case I met someone at school or skiing wtv. And he was disappointed but he stayed with me. Which made me like him even more so a month later I accepted and we became an official couple who at that point, knew each other so well it was like we'd already been a couple for months.

Long story short. Taste each one before buying the whole cake.