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"I--I think so," she said, making a real effort to hold herself together well enough to at least get back to Trine. After many deep breaths and a false end or two, Akaya managed to get herself somewhat under control, using a sleeve to dab at her eyes. At least she hadn't had the time to try and apply cosmetics lately--her face probably looked bad enough all red and splotchy, no need to add running black lines down her cheeks to boot. "I know we need to get the Mystweed back. That's our first priority." As she clambered into the saddle and began to strap herself in properly, she could almost believe the squared-shoulder, Weyr-and-dragon-comes-first attitude she was putting on. Almost.

At least S'koi seemed to understand...better than, say, G'brel would. G'brel was nice, but...how could the other girl possibly understand Akaya, when their backgrounds had been so different?

Sleeth didn't want to leave Hers, not at all, but she could also sense she was making Akaya unhappy. She didn't want that! Should she go away for awhile? Would that help? I'm sorry, Akaya-mine, the striped green said pitiably, moving to nudge Hers once more. I won't do it! I won't fly at all!

Silly Sleeth, of course you will, Akaya thought back, quivering at the effort at holding herself together still now that the Mystweed was off on its way to delivery. It's not your fault, love. You do what you need to do. After all, it wasn't like she could deny her own nature. There was plenty of it Akaya absolutely, completely loved about Sleeth...there was just the part where sex meant something different in Akaya's experience, or, rather, lack of experience. It was simply the clash of two different worldviews; Akaya didn't think she was the only rider who'd been forced to reconcile their more conservative views to the liberality of the weyrs.

Should--should I go away? Sleeth queried, sounding entirely upset herself.

I... "My weyr, I suppose," Akaya managed with only the fewest of sniffles. "I...wouldn't mind company. Especially since...well, I'm guessing you know." Maybe S'koi had some advice on how to get past the first Flight, or past the many to follow. So very many to follow... "How do you...?" She couldn't bring herself to finish the thought aloud. Sleeth. Lead the way for us, will you?

Of course! Given some task to help Hers settle, Sleeth charged forward with determination. Home, to where Akaya could feel better. Yes, that was the right thing to do!

Akaya moved for her bed, gesturing S'koi wordlessly to sit. There were several possibilities, from a chair or two near a small desk to the bed itself. Akaya reached for a pillow to hug--no sense worrying the poor other greenrider with such physical contact when they'd hardly met, after all--and tried to breathe deeply once more to settle herself. Sleeth sat in her hollow of a bed, unsure of how best to comfort Hers now.

"How...long, for you?" she asked, since anything else seemed rather too personal. "Does it get any easier?" Would he even tell the truth, on such a question? What if his answer was 'no', that it never did? All good things could have their downsides, and it seemed, for both of them really, having the best friend in all of Pern might carry the cost that their bodies were not theirs for a few hours every couple of months. If it came down to dealing with that versus losing their mindmates...well, there really wasn't any choice to it.

She wasn't quite sure when she'd decided S'koi was in fact a male; perhaps Sleeth's communications with his Laith had cemented it in her mind somehow. She'd known from the beginning of this, since G'brel had first explained Flights after they'd heard Eltimioth's, that male greenriders who preferred women could have it worst of all. Was S'koi one of those, then? How many had bedded the poor boy as a result of Flight and been surprised to find he wasn't a girl when they came to themselves? Even Akaya hadn't been able to tell right away... And yet he said it got easier; she still felt he perhaps wasn't telling the truth to spare her a bit of dread. If his Laith was only two Turns, and she'd only started Rising a Turn ago...no, not that many times yet. But enough to know, know better than Akaya at any rate.

"My friend...has offered to try and win the Flight; I don't know if it's any better to partner with someone you're not attracted to in hopes of it meaning nothing," Akaya admitted. G'brel's offer was one she truly did appreciate, even if she didn't feel she could quite count on it. There was no telling if Lifth would win his first Flight, after all. "I know some riders attempt to arrange non-rider partners in advance but...I don't have anyone like that either." Nor did she care to go about asking random people; that was just a bit much for the former Holdgirl.

Akaya herself was not so sure she would not be one of those who didn't enjoy it either. Even if she got lucky comparatively speaking, who was to say it would not go the other way the next Flight? Until one had a weyrmate (and really, even then!), nothing was assured. She didn't really like uncertainty; though she had been known to wander off in search of adventure, it was because she knew she could always come home, pen a song, relax and tell tales. Not because she craved the feeling like standing on the edge of a precipice and no idea what she'd find were she to fall.

"It's likely rude of me to even ask; I'm sorry," Akaya replied apologetically. She really didn't mean to cause the quiet greenrider any trouble, and he'd been very kind to not only alert her to the circumstances at hand, but escort her all the way back in spite of the state she was in. His replies suggested he'd never had a friend to turn to for aid in this, though it wasn't clear either if he'd ever attempted the stand-in route. "Thank you for trying to assist, at any rate."

She never even imagined that as a possibility; they'd just met, after all, and he hardly seemed the type to make that sort of offer. "I don't think there is anything more I could ask; even just knowing..." That there were others like her? For whom Flights were not a happy occurrence? "It's good to know I'm not the only one? Though 'misery loves company' is a really awful way of wording it," Akaya said with a grimace. For someone who prided themselves on their skill with words...well, it was hard to admit the unflattering truth, she supposed. "If I can return the support in any way, I ask you to please let me know." She couldn't imagine what she could do for him, but she felt the offer should still be extended. He didn't seem the type to open up much, but perhaps knowing there was someone there would be somewhat reassuring? They were greenriders together, the both of them. They were just doing the best they could in the roles they'd been given, Impressing their other halves.

There were nice ways of stating truths; it had more or less been her life's work before becoming a dragon rider. The fact that her experience with words was failing her now only told her that her stress over this was reaching levels it really shouldn't. She was upsetting her dragon, she was upsetting herself, and there had to be some way to work this out. One that didn't involve troubling poor S'koi any further... "I'd better," she said with a slight sigh. Not that she knew how to fix this, but she'd try at least. Sleeth needed to do what she needed to do; to hobble her otherwise might have disastrous consequences. "Thank you once again, for doing what you could. I'll just have to figure out the rest."