|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:54 pm
“Glitter”
By Sarah
December 17, 2010
Walking to school
On the day before break
Bundled up all cozy and warm
Earphones in listening to music
Watching my feet
Make prints in the snow on the pavement
With my thoughts being peaceful
I look up through my lashes
Which snowflakes dance on
As I blink through the falling snow
I exhale and create a
Film of steamy breathe
Then inhale and feel the
Cold air spiral down my throat
Into my warm lungs
Looking around my stinging eyes wonder
Watching the snow glisten
In the headlights of passing cars
The snow looks like its sparkling
Looks like glitter was poured on the ground
Making a normal, everyday scene
Look like a painting
Full of white glitter
Or a scene from a Christmas story
Winter is almost here
Along with the holidays
Walking through a winter wonderland
Leaves that serene feeling
In my caring heart
And with glitter on the ground
It’s like walking in a dream
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 10:04 am
It's nice. Pleasant. I obviously don't get a moment of deep, sharp-inhaling revelation, because it's not that kind of poem. I get the feeling that this is just a little ode to simplicity.
I'd go back and edit it a little just to make sure that you're using the words you want. But it's nice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:55 pm
Quite pleasant~
Your view of snow is endearing, and most poetic. I like the poem, but some of the wording seems a bit off. I suggest another read-through for word choice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
