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 Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:30 pm
I once heard that all homosexuals suffer from an internal homophobia. (I don't have a source for this. Sorry. I am merely seeking opinions.) Is there any basis to this?
Personally, I don't agree because if those who are homosexual were homophobes, then why have that sexual orientation in the first place?
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Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:06 pm
that's stupid. o_O; it's not even logical!
if it's anything, some of us have a certain...submissive tendency, which gives us a sense of being hunted by other Gay Men... it is no more a fear of Gay Men than it is a fear of being Raped, or treated like a piece of meat. similar to the fear straight Women have for straight Men. it isn't so much the Men, as it is the idea of teh Sex not being on their own terms. see?
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Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:35 pm
Understand. Why is it though that you witness so many homosexuals afraid to come out about their sexual orientation? Nervousness? Fear? Shame?
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Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 4:14 pm
Shadows-shine Understand. Why is it though that you witness so many homosexuals afraid to come out about their sexual orientation? Nervousness? Fear? Shame? Fear of being shunned by society, their parents, friends ...
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Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 4:28 pm
Shadows-shine I once heard that all homosexuals suffer from an internal homophobia. (I don't have a source for this. Sorry. I am merely seeking opinions.) Is there any basis to this? Personally, I don't agree because if those who are homosexual were homophobes, then why have that sexual orientation in the first place? You epically misquoted that. The fact is: Many, but not all, Homosexuals are troubled by their sexuality due to religion, upbringing, or environment. In extreme cases you get your "I don't want to be gay why did G-d make me gay" types.
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 7:24 pm
Artto Shadows-shine Understand. Why is it though that you witness so many homosexuals afraid to come out about their sexual orientation? Nervousness? Fear? Shame? Fear of being shunned by society, their parents, friends ...
I can see how someone would say something like that due to the reasons above. But it really is not logical. They are just afraid of not being accepted as they were when they were "straight".
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:07 pm
Aakosir But it really is not logical. They are just afraid of not being accepted as they were when they were "straight". How is that not logical? I find that perfectly logical.
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:45 am
Aakosir I can see how someone would say something like that due to the reasons above. But it really is not logical. They are just afraid of not being accepted as they were when they were "straight". Excuse me, but its not that simple. I know for a fact I will be thrown out if my family knows I'm bisexual. Personally, id love to tell them, but seeing as I have no where else to go, not telling them is the only logical move I can make at this point. Its not fear of not being accepted, its fear of losing something I can't live without. And I sincerely doubt I'm the only one in my kind of position.
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:02 pm
That's weird, I've never heard that, but I've heard it the other way around. That all homophobes are secretly gay.
That one isn't exactly true, but it has psychological basis.
Bonus points to anyone who's taken a psych 101 class and has learned about defense mechanisms. Reaction formation is the defense mechanism where, when you have a thought or feeling that contradicts your ideal image of yourself, causing you anxiety, you take the opposite thought or feeling. It's a tough idea to wrap your head around, but when you start seeing it in everyday life, you can't stop.
Basically, say a man grows up in a religious or conservative home that says that homosexuals go to hell, those feelings make you less of a man, any of that good stuff that our parents say that follows us forever. If he starts expressing curiosity in another man, before he can even really consciously process those thoughts he'll form the opposite reaction: that is disgusting, sinful, vulgar, etc.
It doesn't necessarily mean that he's gay, just that he was thinking about it, and it's so contrary to his ego ideal that he can't accept the idea that he might be gay.
I do understand guilt over being gay though. To an extent at least. I became an atheist when I was about thirteen, and I felt guilty about it for years, even though I felt I was doing the right thing. :/
@ Chief: Why be afraid of gay men but not straight women?
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:35 pm
Yeah I had heard that homophobes are secretly gay. Again there is no way to prove that 100%, but I have heard it was a pyschological thing. I learned it my Pyschology classes that I took over the years.
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:58 pm
brainnsoup That's weird, I've never heard that, but I've heard it the other way around. That all homophobes are secretly gay.
That one isn't exactly true, but it has psychological basis.
Bonus points to anyone who's taken a psych 101 class and has learned about defense mechanisms. Reaction formation is the defense mechanism where, when you have a thought or feeling that contradicts your ideal image of yourself, causing you anxiety, you take the opposite thought or feeling. It's a tough idea to wrap your head around, but when you start seeing it in everyday life, you can't stop.
Basically, say a man grows up in a religious or conservative home that says that homosexuals go to hell, those feelings make you less of a man, any of that good stuff that our parents say that follows us forever. If he starts expressing curiosity in another man, before he can even really consciously process those thoughts he'll form the opposite reaction: that is disgusting, sinful, vulgar, etc.
It doesn't necessarily mean that he's gay, just that he was thinking about it, and it's so contrary to his ego ideal that he can't accept the idea that he might be gay.
I do understand guilt over being gay though. To an extent at least. I became an atheist when I was about thirteen, and I felt guilty about it for years, even though I felt I was doing the right thing. :/
@ Chief: Why be afraid of gay men but not straight women? who said I wasn't afraid of straight women? >.> I'm paranoid. I'm always on my guard. and I have learned that that's a smart thing, because I have in fact been raped, both by men and a girl.
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:04 pm
Artto Aakosir But it really is not logical. They are just afraid of not being accepted as they were when they were "straight". How is that not logical? I find that perfectly logical.
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