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 Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:50 am
 Discussion Thread here!It's that time of year again - the celebration of all things Noel. You know what that means, folks! ...Playing endless rounds of Deal Or No Deal? Dear god, is THAT what all these boxes are for?! I sure hope not!!
Oh, okay, it's just been whispered in my ear that actually, these boxes are PRESENTS, and you don't have to gamble £250k or outwit a pedantic bank manager to open them! YAY!
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Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:51 am
So what's going on with all these piles of presents? Well, basically, the Overseer decided to dress up as Santa to fulfill his duty of spreading peace and goodwill throughout the season.  On an enchanted flying sled secretly souped up by Xeiashi (way to go, Xei...) he ended up giving more than he bargained for. The roof of the Sanctuary got a gaping, cavernous hole, and Lorika got an intensity of migraine she never dreamed possible. Hurray!  Problem is, none of the other presents got delivered. =< Christmas 2k10 is ruined! OR IS IT?!
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Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:53 am
 In comes I, the Christmas elf, to clean up all this mess!
With the help of my friend, the trouble we'll end, all the while fabulously dressed!Ussta yah...(Say the freaking rhyme!)Sigh... in comes I, the Christmas elf, to save the glorious day.
We'll set things straight, the horror abate, and just for the record - no, I'm not gay.We'll pick up all these scattered gifts to take to your abode.
Of thieving, have no fear! We'll bring them safe, and bring them near - it is the Fairies' Code."The Fairies' Code?" Jesus Christ...Hey, you got off lucky. You wanna know the true meaning of the Fairies' Code? We still have time to go back and change into sugarplum tutus...Alright, alright! So put away those grimaces -And relight your Christmas cheer -We'll bring to you, friend, a bright, happy end -A Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! Woohoo!
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 2:17 pm
 Well, well, who would've guessed it? Our two favourite elves - sorry, CHRISTMAS elves - have been roped into doing their bit and saving Christmas for everyone at the Order. Again.
Deliver a few presents wearing matching mini-dresses and thigh-high boots. Easy peasy, right?
Right.
WRONG.
Wrong? What? How?
Well, because actually, I forgot to mention the fact that every single one of the tags on the presents came off during the crash, so even Cressa can't decipher who which present is meant to belong to. And of course, nobody kept a list. Because that would be way too easy and logical.
...What.
So you guys are going to have to MATCH UP THE GIFTS TO THEIR MOST APPROPRIATE OWNERS! Hurray, guesswork!
You are literally kidding me... Why is every event this place runs such a disaster?
Oh, my darling little picklemincer, without the drama, where would the fun be? =D
...Why do you people insist on-?
ENOUGH TALK, SPANKY! IT'S PRESENT DELIVERIN' TIME!
.____.
~~~~~~~~~
Okay, everyone... here are the
RULES:
* In the post below you'll find the full list of PEOPLE RECEIVING GIFTS. They're roleplay characters, but don't worry - I've attached mini-biographies that should help you out. ;D BE LOGICAL, and it should work out just fine!
* Just beneath them, you'll find a pool full of gifts. There are more gifts than people who require gifts.
* Only one present goes for each person. All others are just there to confuse you.
* Make up a list of people and the gifts you're matching them with. For example: Ludovic - Goggles, Kingsley - Pocketwatch.
* PM your completed list to Celeste Marcon, the Guild Mule.
* If more than one person gets all of the answers right, the winner will be drawn from a hat on Christmas Day. If nobody gets all of the answers right, the person who matched the most will win.
~~~~~~~~~
And as for the prize... would you care to disclose, my fabulous assistant?
A sense of joy and inner peace at giving up your time to help us bring generous gifts to the masses?
AHAHAHA DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. The winner will receive a FANTABABAULOUCOUS 200k in raw gold!! How do ya like DEM apples?!
Bribery. Of course. Well, thanks for helping out anyway, you guys. We need all the help we can get. May the spirit of Christmas go with you!
...Did you just smack me on the behind?
Hmmmaybe. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 3:22 pm
 DECK THE ORPHANAGES WITH BOUGHS OF FIREBALLS, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA - *CRASH*THE HALLOWED RECEIVERS OF GIFTSTHE GIFTS IN AND OF THEMSELVES
Smelling salts, A bathtub full of gravy, A brand new Lexus, Underwear (f), A shield and Olympic running shoes,
A fairy-princess Barbie doll, "Advanced Metaphysics for the Boy Genius in All of Us, Professor Boris L Ka," A DVD copy of The Nutty Professor, Sexy purple lingerie made for shapeshifters, "Swordfighting for Dummies,"
A vat of raw meat, A packet of chips, Tight leather pants (m), A copy of Cressa's unabridged autobiography - "Me, Myself and I," A six month paid anger management course
Fancy new double-reinforced bra containing squeaky mouse toys in the pockets where the gel is meant to go, A googly-eyed handpuppet, A new pair of high heels, Twinkle the space goat, A giant penguin costume
An anime plushie of a certain glittery bishie (NOT Jessie), Neko maid costume with mini fashion tophat, Fluffy handcuffs, An unnervingly large stick, Man-B-Gone repellent spray
A year's supply of cereal, Gift vouchers for Gambino Outfitters, Giant celestial demonic evil demon cleaver of heaven and hell and everything inbetween, Pyjamas, A rubber ducky
~~~~~~~~~
Got everything you need? Yes? Good! Now GO! Get your answers to Celeste NO LATER THAN December 24th! "Votes received after the closing date will not be counted but may still be charged~"
Fly, my pretties! Fly! *spanks Jessie's magical fairy-butt again for good luck*
Kindly remove your hand from my buttocks.
I can't! It's so addictive! ;___;
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 3:47 pm
 BUT HOLD YER HORSES, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!
That's right, my little mongrels! I shoved Jessie in the vat of gravy just so we'd get the opportunity to have this chat in private, so listen up.
I need your help. As you all know, my partner in crime is also the object of my affection, and I need to find him the perfect gift to woo him this Christmas.
My original plan was just to steal one of these presents to give to Jay-jay, but somehow I don't think he'd appreciate a Barbie or an unnervingly large stick. (That Man-B-Gone repellent looks pretty useful, though...)
What Cressa is trying to say is, she needs you to submit ideas for the best, funniest, most appropriate or most outrageous present you can think of to give to Jessie this Christmas. The person who gets their idea chosen will win 100k!
That's right, but you lazy little gutter-rutters had better rack your feeble brains hard, because if I don't like any of the suggestions I get I won't be handing out any of my hard-stolen cash!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!
Yes, Cressa, they hear you. Your generosity is astounding. You truly embody everything that is good about Christmas.
Gorgeous women in skimpy outfits? I'm glad you think so. ;3
Submit your entries by PM to Celeste Marcon no later than December 24th! HURRY WHILE STOCKS LAST! MUSH!!
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 4:07 pm
And that's not all! This Christmas, we've also provided for you a...TEKTEK CONTEST! Okay, I understand the pun involving the muffin and the studs, but why on earth am I holding this gigantic candy cane?
NYyeeesshHSSHH... iitSshhh becausshhHHHh we wAnTHShh to LICKnb IT, eehhehhhehehehehehehe...
...Well, for a visual aid, it's not quite anatomically correct... As the picture above suggests, you have two individual themes to play with - the winner of each category will take away 50k in gold! The themes are:A Very Sexy Merry Christmas!
(As modelled by Jessie above)
and...
The Nightmare Before Christmas!
(As modelled by Cressa the beautiful bloody Buer)
The closing date for these entries is later than the others - January 1st 2011! PM them to Celeste Marcon, but the later closing date doesn't mean you can slack! Get going and come up with the most creative entries you can think of!
And don't worry... as Lorika mentioned in a previous announcement, Tektek is safe to use again after its issues.
Thank you for your help in making that public service announcement, Jessie.
Any time.
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 4:14 pm
The Fabled Hall of Winners! Winner of the 200k Grand Prize:
purple_hana!
She got all but two of the presents assigned to their correct owner, tying with Fel, and was then pulled out of a hat. The solution was as follows:
Alexi Silver: Anime plushie of a certain glittery bishie
Sven: Tight leather pants (m)
Gloria: Six months of paid anger management
Damien: Sword fighting for dummies
Zuri: Sexy lingerie made for shapeshifters
Bapp Pogum: Neko Maid Costume with mini fashion tophat
Feline: Underwear (f)
Storm: Giant celestial demonic evil demon cleaver of heaven and hell and everything inbetween
Gwarniskal del Ul'moutroth: Vat of raw meat
Metannere Burobel: Fancy new double-reinforced bra containing squeaky mouse toys in the pockets where the gel is meant to go
Oz: A shield and olympic running shoes
Xeiashi: "Advanced Metaphysics for the Boy Genius in All of Us" by professor Boris L Ka
Stephanie: A giant penguin suit
Odin: Man-B-Gone Repellent Spray
Lorika: Twinkle the space goat
And thank you to my Secret Santa for giving me Twinkle <3 Squee =]
Winner of the 100k Prize for Most Inventive Gift:
Team Rocket Girl with a ball in a cup game thingy!
Hilarious, right? Let's see how it went down! Jessie, Jessie!~
...What? Can't you see I'm busy moping? This has been the worst Christmas ever.
Oh, but I have something that will cheer you uuuup~
What could possibly cheer me u-?
[She produces a festively wrapped box from behind her back.] =3
... [Touched] Oh, Cressa...! You didn't have to get me anything!
I know. ^^ Go ahead and open it!! Open it!
I really, really wasn't expecting anything... I don't know what to say... [He carefully opens the paper, with great attention and gratitude, and slowly slides out the box inside.]
It's something you're going to liiiike~
I'm sure I'll love... it... [He has removed the lid of the box and discovered the small children's toy inside.] ...
SQUEE!! Do you love it?! How much do you love it? Lots of love, love, or love love?!
...
Go ahead, play with it!! Play play play!
... [He nonchalantly flips the ball into the cup on his very first try.]
[Clapping excitedly, ecstatic in delight] YAAAAAAY!! heart heart
... [With the air of one wishing he could crawl under a box and die.]
Hurrrayyy, he loved it! Looks like everyone got their perfect gift this year!~
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good 2011! =D
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 4:30 pm
"Mommy, why is that man wearing a dress?"
"Just keep walking, Billy. Don't look at Santa's sexiest helper."
"But I can see right up his skirt, mommy!"
"JUST KEEP WALKING."
"But I want a present from the pretty elf D:"
"So do I, but we can't always get what we want in life. Merry Christmas everyone!"
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